The Deathlist Cup 2018

[charon 4,943]

'Mon take fuck Jose , get in the body bag onion net, Mary would need two to win through.

[Grim Up North 3,727]

Must admit all this Jose Jose/ Tsvangirai baiting is passing me by as don't have either of them in my team and neither does Yorkie Banker.

 

Still bit disappointed YB isn't on here mouthing off about how he's 3-0 up and battering me - missing a bit of match banter..........

 

He's probably spending all his time researching his team for round 2! 

[msc 18,479]

11 minutes ago, Grim Up North said:

Must admit all this Jose Jose/ Tsvangirai baiting is passing me by as don't have either of them in my team and neither does Yorkie Banker.

 

Still bit disappointed YB isn't on here mouthing off about how he's 3-0 up and battering me - missing a bit of match banter..........

 

He's probably spending all his time researching his team for round 2! 

 

That would have been a prime spot for Joey: "See you in Round 2, Grim, or maybe not!" etc. But, the month is young!

 

 

[Grim Up North 3,727]

9 minutes ago, msc said:

 

 But, the month is young!

 

 

But also just 20 days to go - they tick by fast when you are behind!

 

PS I have just discovered that I have allowed a monstrous fuck up to happen at work that probably means I'm going to as a minimum have to tender my resignation (I've only had 2 jobs in 31 years of work and the second, this one, came from the first). It is refreshing to my inner mind that rather than obsessing too much about my impending work destruction I am on here frigging about wondering where my next hit in The Cup is coming from!!

[msc 18,479]

Sorry to hear that. Resignation as a minimum? You didn't, like, release Venables by accident or something, right? (Gallows humour to try and lighten the mood, ya know?)

[Grim Up North 3,727]

Well I feel a bit like I was babysitting Jamie Bulger at the moment.

 

Actually I so fucking don't feel like that - it's just a job right - fuck em, I made a mistake, I'll offer to resign, they'll shit their pants and I'll get away with it with just a bit of a chocolate stain against my name and a bit (a lot) of whispering in corridors. But no-ones died right, well particularly no-one from my Cup 11 to get back to the point!

 

 

 

[RoverAndOut 4,746]

Now we're over a week into February I will admit to being quietly proud that my motley crew are holding Spade's galacticos thus far. While I still expect to get spanked it would be nice to last another week and take it to a replay at least. 

[maryportfuncity 10,655]

27 minutes ago, RoverAndOut said:

Now we're over a week into February I will admit to being quietly proud that my motley crew are holding Spade's galacticos thus far. While I still expect to get spanked it would be nice to last another week and take it to a replay at least. 

 

 

Meanwhile the game between Charon and I is being interrupted by loud snoring in the crowd.

[charon 4,943]

WHAT?

 

I'm old you know, speak up a bit...

[Joey Russ 7,228]

I thought leaving Liam Miller was a mistake. On the bright side, this doesn’t affect my tie at all...

[msc 18,479]

Sometimes Cup players get to revel in the demise of someone who wont be missed, your Ian Bradys per se, and other times, a 36 year old athlete dies from the dreaded pancreatic cancer. Such is the latter case with Liam Miller, formerly of Celtic, Manchester United and Sunderland. If you get a chance, find the Celtic goal against Lyon online. It's on YouTube, but the fuckers have cut the 20 passes leading up to it, something entirely out of the Argentina/Serbia playbook, and a whole 2 and a half years earlier too. Anyhow, this marks 3 years in a row a young sports man has produced a points bonanza in deadpooling, after Mark Farren and Joost van der Westhuizen.

 

So what games does this change? Well, Sean goes 3-0 up on newcomers Fixed Business. Rad also takes the lead against Bibliogryphon, with a better goal than the Magill penalty from last year. John Key pulls back against Gcreptile to make that 4-3. Celtic fan charon scores with a Celt to take the lead against MPFC. Grim equalises against the Banker from Huddersfield (picked at random), and currently leads on age difference.  And another age difference lead comes for The Dead Cow, who equalises his hotly contested tie with Pedro.

 

This leaves 5 of the 12 games goalless, including yours truly. Notably Rover is still holding Spade Cooley after 9 days of competition.

 

1.  Charon (Unrepentant) vs Maryportfuncity (Inter Youngboys FC) 3-0

2.  Pedro (Trottingbum Hotsores) vs The Dead Cow 3-3

3.  Young Willz (Glasgow Ron Weasley Ed Sheeran Slash Fanfiction Thistle Wanderers United) vs The Engineer 0-0

4.  Grim Up North (Going Going GUN) vs Yorkshire Banker 3-3

5.  Msc vs Wormfarmer 0-0

6.  Spade Cooley (Great Railway Journeys with Hughie Gallacher and Robert Enke) vs Roverandout 0-0

7.  Joey Russ vs Garn  (Video Assistant Reaper)  4-0

8.  Bibliogryphon (Bye Bye Biblio) vs Phantom of the Midway (AKA Rad Guy) 0-3

9.  Sean (Shaun of the Dead’s Magical Funeral Parlour) vs Fixed Business  (Business Fixed) 3-0

10. Gcreptile (The eaten tide pods) vs John Key 4-3

11. Deathray (First In, First Out and Never Invited to an Orgy Again) vs Sir Creep  (The Month-to-Month Tenants) 0-0

12.  Captain Chorizo vs Book  (Never Heard of Soccer) 0-0

[Grim Up North 3,727]

Aha

 

Old Father Time 1 - Cancer 1

 

(and Cancer, like Germany, will always win on penalties)

[msc 18,479]

1 minute ago, Grim Up North said:

Aha

 

Old Father Time 1 - Cancer 1

 

(and Cancer, like Germany, will always win on penalties)

 

Scenes when Jean of Luxembourg dies tomorrow then! 

[Pedro67 232]

14 hours ago, msc said:

.  And another age difference lead comes for The Dead Cow, who equalises his hotly contested tie with Pedro.

 

Both teams on the attack as well, with the current Jose v Tsvangirai battle in play in this tie.

[The Dead Cow 620]

Wesla Whitfield has died aged 70 and becomes a unique hit for me.

[msc 18,479]

Wesla Whitfield, one of the Great American Songbook singers, has died aged 70 after a battle with cancer. She is a unique hit for The Dead Cow. Poor Pedro must be feeling a bit like the Italians in the final of Euro 2000 all of a sudden.

 

1.  Charon (Unrepentant) vs Maryportfuncity (Inter Youngboys FC) 3-0

2.  Pedro (Trottingbum Hotsores) vs The Dead Cow 3-7

3.  Young Willz (Glasgow Ron Weasley Ed Sheeran Slash Fanfiction Thistle Wanderers United) vs The Engineer 0-0

4.  Grim Up North (Going Going GUN) vs Yorkshire Banker 3-3

5.  Msc vs Wormfarmer 0-0

6.  Spade Cooley (Great Railway Journeys with Hughie Gallacher and Robert Enke) vs Roverandout 0-0

7.  Joey Russ vs Garn  (Video Assistant Reaper)  4-0

8.  Bibliogryphon (Bye Bye Biblio) vs Phantom of the Midway (AKA Rad Guy) 0-3

9.  Sean (Shaun of the Dead’s Magical Funeral Parlour) vs Fixed Business  (Business Fixed) 3-0

10. Gcreptile (The eaten tide pods) vs John Key 4-3

11. Deathray (First In, First Out and Never Invited to an Orgy Again) vs Sir Creep  (The Month-to-Month Tenants) 0-0

12.  Captain Chorizo vs Book  (Never Heard of Soccer) 0-0

[YorkshireBanker 168]

A free kick(Pneumonia) in the back of the net for Baby Peggy to get the lead back plz

[Grim Up North 3,727]

Having nervously checked t'internet is this a request or a report of her death that has not made the information super highway yet?

[Joey Russ 7,228]

17 hours ago, Grim Up North said:

Having nervously checked t'internet is this a request or a report of her death that has not made the information super highway yet?

It looks like karma came to him cause, as mentioned elsewhere, Bill Crider has died. No obit as of yet, but one will certainly come before the end of tomorrow...

[Joey Russ 7,228]

44 minutes ago, Joey Russ said:

It looks like karma came to him cause, as mentioned elsewhere, Bill Crider has died. No obit as of yet, but one will certainly come before the end of tomorrow...

Is this good enough, or does something better need to show up?

EDIT: This one surely must count no?

[msc 18,479]

5 hours ago, Joey Russ said:

Is this good enough, or does something better need to show up?

EDIT: This one surely must count no?

 

Both of those count. Poor old Bill, though he knew his days were numbered. Anyhow, he were a writer and his words will live on, or something like that. His death does a whole lot of things to the scoreboard. First up, Gcreptile adds to his lead, and has some breathing space. Rad also adds to his score, and at this point you have to fear for Biblio's chances. Book's valiant defence against 2016 DDP runner up Captain Chorizo finally ends, and The Dead Cow opens up a 7 point lead on Pedro. You can't count him out, yet, but no one has come back from a 7 point deficit in the short history of the Deathlist Cup... so far. Joey and Grim both score, and are on course as it stands for a grudge rematch in Round 2, with Joey suprisingly efficiently reaching another 7 point margin against much respected deadpooler Garn, and Grim now leading after an early scare.

 

Who's left? Oh yes, it's me!!! I lead for the first time ever in my own Cup. Will it last? I doubt it, but it'll be fun for now!

 

Only three matches remain goalless. YWillz v Engineer, though surely some of their picks must be fairly doddery by now. And Deathray v Sir Creep. Where are those dead certs university presidents? And most surprising of all, Rover is still holding Spade to a draw. Surely I'm not going to have to get a coin out for a "penalty shootout" again? And if so, will Mrs msc mock the shit out of me again? Yes. Yes she will.

 

1.  Charon (Unrepentant) vs Maryportfuncity (Inter Youngboys FC) 3-0

2.  Pedro (Trottingbum Hotsores) vs The Dead Cow 3-10

3.  Young Willz (Glasgow Ron Weasley Ed Sheeran Slash Fanfiction Thistle Wanderers United) vs The Engineer 0-0

4.  Grim Up North (Going Going GUN) vs Yorkshire Banker 6-3

5.  Msc vs Wormfarmer 3-0

6.  Spade Cooley (Great Railway Journeys with Hughie Gallacher and Robert Enke) vs Roverandout 0-0

7.  Joey Russ vs Garn  (Video Assistant Reaper)  7-0

8.  Bibliogryphon (Bye Bye Biblio) vs Phantom of the Midway (AKA Rad Guy) 0-6

9.  Sean (Shaun of the Dead’s Magical Funeral Parlour) vs Fixed Business  (Business Fixed) 3-0

10. Gcreptile (The eaten tide pods) vs John Key 7-3

11. Deathray (First In, First Out and Never Invited to an Orgy Again) vs Sir Creep  (The Month-to-Month Tenants) 0-0

12.  Captain Chorizo vs Book  (Never Heard of Soccer) 3-0

[Grim Up North 3,727]

The interesting thing from a Cup perspective about Bill Crider was that he was on 7 teams but not on both teams in any one match. Could be a decisive death in a number of matches.

 

GCR - is your team an intentional anagram of something?

[YoungWillz 21,062]

Why not use the random coin flipper? https://www.random.org/coins/

 

Save the in house mockery....

[Spade_Cooley 9,538]

Don't think my boys have the cut-throat mentality for a cup competition, hence why DQSP has always favoured the league. I'm like the anti-Ancelotti.

[Bibliogryphon 9,588]

At least this year @Phantom of the Midway has given me a proper drubbing rather than the dodgy Lisa Magill style last year. I don't think my team is bad but it lacks those in the immediate vicinity of the drain. Its not half time yet.