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Maybe he wants to spend more time with the wife and kids.

From Craggy Island to The Vatican

New Chelsea manager you mark my words. Health reasons pfffff

I raise your Len with a Dougal.......

Were you his former chauffeur by any chance?

And Harry Redknapp has already been linked with the job in Rome...

Forget biopic I am thinking event theatre. You have the basic play about the disappearance of LL and then right at the end an old bloke in the audience with a bushy moustache stands up and says "Absolute Rubbish, what really happened was..." at which point the theatre doors crash open and the old bloke is dragged roughly away by half a dozen police officers, the lights come up and the cast shuffle off the stage. Cameron MacKintosh can contact me anytime.

I dunno what the additional scandal can be, we already know he covered up the institutionalised rape of children. Maybe he covered up the institutionalised rape of children by men wearing condoms, idk.

Hmmmmm, a successor perhaps?

The news is out of nowhere but at the same time not really surprising given his frailty and demanding position. I guess trying to figure out how that Twitter thing works was the straw on the camel's back.

It turns out that the butler never did it after all.

Winner of the BAFTA award for the most pointless post goes to......

Due to his reputation for investigating scandals, he's been headhunted by the EU to investigate the horsemeat saga.

He's resigned so he can stand in the Eastleigh by-election.

i think we should have a thread for Protestant clerics *ducks*

Peter Falk has died. No moar alzheimerz. Link: http://www.today.com/id/43526826/site/todayshow/ns/today-entertainment/t/columbo-star-peter-falk-dies/

Has anybody else thought that Gillard sounds SERIOUSLY common? I mean, even in an Aussie accent, she sounds like she lives in a dustbin with Oscar Grouch. She would have made the late great Derek Jameson sound like Brian fuggin Sewell. I would tho.

Just been to the doctors and he says that I've got to start watching what I eat! So I've booked tickets for this year Aintree Grand National!!

Lost my job as a lifeguard yesterday. Apparently refusing a Halibut entry to the pool whilst tapping the "No bombing" sign isn't the done thing.

Which is probably why Lard and co don't give a shit. If it was down their neck of the woods then they would. A bit. Leicester should milk this for all it's worth. Message to Nottingham: how's finding Robin Hood getting on? Nah, I wouldn't. It would have to be someone pretty fucking special for me to be bovvered, like Dave Grohl* or summat - not somebody that you only speak of when you're going for a shit. *Yes, I know Dave Grohl's not dead and, if he were, nor are his bones likely to be found in a car park in Trowvegas. The only things you find in car parks here are used needles and discarded underpants. You mean to say that you actually have underwear down there in webbed finger land? My God, culture!!!! I don't - all mine are in the car park. You can fuck off anyway, Norfolk Boy, you six-toed cousin-fiddler Ok, you got me bang to rights Lardy. Fortunately, there are some good surgeons up here are they are doing their best for me. See? My hand is looking a lot better now they have removed two fingers and all the webbing. Found in a Norfolk card shop Ooo gosh that was quite big, sorry. (Something LFN never says very often I'll wager )

I know what you mean...it's been ages since there has been a decent train robbery.... chuffing hell not paid a season ticket for Southwest, Southern or any of the other track bandits then^^ or does that qualify as indecent train robbery. At lest Ronnie had the decency to wear a mask...

I clicked on that link and this is what appeared in the tab: The story turned out to be different from what I was expecting.

A good friend of mine lent me "The Cruel Sea" by Nicholas Monsarrat around 10-11 years ago. I started it, but never got around to finishing. Nearly every time I saw him in the pub he would mention it, and I would apologise, say I'd not read it yet and offer it back. He would insist that I keep it till I'd finished as it was a good read. He died last year, his widow said I could keep it as it is what he would have wanted; I still haven't finished it!