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Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favourite sex positions. One said " I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best". "I don't think I've ever heard of that one" said the other cowboy ,what is it?" "Well, it's when you get your wife down on all fours, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear "Boy, these feel just like your sister's". The you try and stay on for 8 seconds!!

Hmmm, I'm supposed to be going to his one man show on Sunday... Well, take him a big box of Milk Tray...

A good place to start is Mort (#4) as this doesn't really rely on knowing what happened in the first three. The Colour Of Magic was written a long time before all of the others but The Light Fantastic (#2) is much better but follows directly on. When you get to know the set up it is worth going back and rereading the first three. Another good start is Wyrd Sisters (#6). Enjoy

Same here, so somewhat belated congrats to DI!

Two lesbians walk into a bar with a donkey. The punchline is shit but you should see the video!

855 years ago today Nicholas Breakspear died; perhaps better known as Pope Adrian IV, he was the only Englishman ever to be pope.

So no change then?

Can we talk?

It massages modern people's narsissism and that's why it's a roaring success. I'd rather stick my head in a bucket of cold oh wait a minute...

Hi everyone! I'm a long time Deathlist forum lurked but I made a username so that I could comment on the daily hilarious posts I read.

This water bucket challenge bollocks. Its gone too far and has to stop. Its gone beyond charidee and its now done just so people can record the event in a "Look at me!! Im just a right on funny fucker, eh!" fashion. Enough FFS!!!!! If you really have to do it then nominate a tramp, give them a bar of soap and pour the water over them slowly so that they can have a good fucking wash. At least then you will have a clean tramp, you wouldn't have wasted water and you will be doing two things to make the world a better place instead of just massaging your fucking social network profile.

Dunno, despite being one of the worst for taking ethical picks up to the line, I'd struggle with kids. And, oddly, it does strike me as really bad taste in dead pooling when - like cash for cadavers - there is money/betting involved. As per usual this isn't simple because rules would admit an adult case with severe learning difficulties who may actually be as infantile as any child we would avoid picking. Allow me to throw in a different perspective. If I knew of a child that is close to death and a celeb for reasons other than being close to death, e.g. a child actor, I'd have few qualms about using it as a deadpool candidate. Of course this happens about as often as I win the state lottery. The unfortunate Jahi would not qualify, not because she's a child, but because I don't select "famous-for-being-famous" or "famous-for-dying" candidates. regards, Hein

Priceless in the sense that I wouldn't wanna pay to hear it

DaD theme tune..priceless...'Sigmund Freud...analyse this...analyse this.' O Madonna, what would we do without you. Please confine yer responses to less than 1k words...