Leaderboard

Moved from the Rayya Elias thread in case someone thinks she's risen from the dead: One of the Pointless answers this week was Gina fucking Lollobrigida, perennial "Crowdsourced list pick I had to google who is on 5-10 teams". Ok, which one of you is setting the quiz questions on the BBC, and can you sort out a proper Ian Toothill DDP obit? Ta.

Six men but no Chesters (to my knowledge) were United in the belief Liam Miller's youth and fitness were enough to defy the grim statistics of pancreatic cancer and scrape by into next year. They'll now be Celtic-ed off as Miller's Hibern(at)ian plunges them into a dire land. As the vast majority of teams steered clear, we're still nowhere near a clear Leed-er. =1. Bentrovato 0 =1. Bibliogryphon 0 =1. CaptainChorizo 0 =1. CastAway 0 =1. CharonsCrew 0 =1. deadsox 0 =1. Death Impends 0 =1. Dr_T 0 =1. drol 0 =1. FixedBusiness 0 =1. Garn2 0 =1. gcreptile 0 =1. Grim Up North 0 =1. Joey Russ 0 =1. John Key 0 =1. machotrouts 0 =1. Mercarte 0 =1. msc 0 =1. Pedro67 0 =1. Phantom of the Midway 0 =1. Sean 0 =1. Spade_Cooley 0 =1. The Dead Cow 0 =1. The Unknown Man 0 =1. theoldlady 0 =1. time 0 =1. Toast 0 =1. Torva Messor 0 =1. Wormfarmer 0 =1. YoungWillz 0 31. paddyfool 1 32. Book 5 =33. Deathray 11 =33. Sir Creep 11 35. GraveDanger 14 36. Dead Wait 22

Belatedly just noticed this. I played against this chap many times when he was in his 50s and he was a really nice bloke who retained a great passion for cricket even though his body was a bit knackered by this time. He achieved many fine feats during his earlier years ( I was there watching when he dismissed Boycott) , but still retained a sense of great modesty.

Steve Bruce on compassionate leave after his father died. Note the second line...

Donald Trump is the best. Make American Great Again, it’s true. Trump really does work for United States.

Sale of Goods Act threats are well, pish. They have the right to inspect the goods, and I bet there might be 'liquid ingress' involved, the old saviour of retail companies, then YOU have to pay for and prove it wasn't you that caused the TV to malfunction. I loved working in retail at times.....15 years and I think we folded once over the Sale of Goods Act. Them losing the goods is a far better hope.......

Good to see you went with pizza rather than a curry.... Now, you see, it's not fit for purpose, I'd have insisted on a replacement, if unsuccessful otherwise rejected the goods and asked for a full refund to be credited to my account by Monday, as is my right under the Sale of Goods Act, regardless of any fucking useless policy they got you to sign up to. That policy cannot exclude your statutory rights. Also add in charges for phone calls, distress, etc etc.

I feel your pain. I feel Tracy's pain. She'd love to help you, she can't. The cunts that could help you are currently trying to pretend they didn't attend a dinner in a certain London Hotel and that even if they did, it certainly wasn't them with their hand up a waitress' skirt. Makes me puke.

Still in hospital, 4 weeks on. Pic spoiler tagged for Toast's benefit.

Wesla Whitfield, one of the Great American Songbook singers, has died aged 70 after a battle with cancer. She is a unique hit for The Dead Cow. Poor Pedro must be feeling a bit like the Italians in the final of Euro 2000 all of a sudden. 1. Charon (Unrepentant) vs Maryportfuncity (Inter Youngboys FC) 3-0 2. Pedro (Trottingbum Hotsores) vs The Dead Cow 3-7 3. Young Willz (Glasgow Ron Weasley Ed Sheeran Slash Fanfiction Thistle Wanderers United) vs The Engineer 0-0 4. Grim Up North (Going Going GUN) vs Yorkshire Banker 3-3 5. Msc vs Wormfarmer 0-0 6. Spade Cooley (Great Railway Journeys with Hughie Gallacher and Robert Enke) vs Roverandout 0-0 7. Joey Russ vs Garn (Video Assistant Reaper) 4-0 8. Bibliogryphon (Bye Bye Biblio) vs Phantom of the Midway (AKA Rad Guy) 0-3 9. Sean (Shaun of the Dead’s Magical Funeral Parlour) vs Fixed Business (Business Fixed) 3-0 10. Gcreptile (The eaten tide pods) vs John Key 4-3 11. Deathray (First In, First Out and Never Invited to an Orgy Again) vs Sir Creep (The Month-to-Month Tenants) 0-0 12. Captain Chorizo vs Book (Never Heard of Soccer) 0-0

Both teams on the attack as well, with the current Jose v Tsvangirai battle in play in this tie.

Let's hope he doesn't go overboard with celebrations.

Scenes when Jean of Luxembourg dies tomorrow then!

Third Leaderboard 2018: (*=Joker) 1st: msc - 128 Points [5/25] (*Elias; Cryne; Alcock; Stokes; Miller) 2nd: drol - 102 Points [5/25] (Elias; Zarin; Cryne; Alcock; Miller) 3rd: Grim Up North - 90 Points [4/25] (Elias; Cryne; Alcock; Miller) 4th: NiceGuyEddie - 87 Points [3/25] (Cryne; Olivera; Miller) 5th: the_engineer - 76 Points [3/25] (Falkholt; Sawyer; Miller) 6th: Captain Chorizo - 63 Points [4/25] (Monson; Elias; Alcock; Kit) 7th: The Unknown Man - 62 Points [3/25] (Elias; Cryne; Miller) 8th: FujimoriNoMorey - 59 Points [2/25] (Cryne; Miller) =9th: Bibliogryphon - 58 Points [1/25] (*Hauxwell) =9th: Sir Creep - 58 Points [3/25] (Elias; Falkholt; Miller) 11th: Joey Russ - 51 Points [2/25] (Smith; Olivera) 12th: Toast - 42 Points [2/25] (Elias; Miller) =13th: Death Impends - 41 Points [2/25] (Killen; Kit) =13th: gcreptile: 41 Points [2/25] (Manikan; Olivera) 15th: Grigori: 31 Points [1/25] (Kit) 16th: Phantom of the Midway - 23 Points [1/25] (Smith) =17th: Book - 21 Points [1/25] (Le Guin) =17th: The Dead Cow - 21 Points [1/25] (Sawyer) =17th: Wormfarmer - 21 Points [1/25] (Sawyer) 20th: Whoaml - 18 Points [1/25] (Malone) 21st: Torva Messor - 3 Points [1/25] (Elias) 22nd: Fixed Business - 1 Point [1/25] (Monson) =23rd: Everybody Else (8 Teams) - 0 Points [0/25]

Sometimes Cup players get to revel in the demise of someone who wont be missed, your Ian Bradys per se, and other times, a 36 year old athlete dies from the dreaded pancreatic cancer. Such is the latter case with Liam Miller, formerly of Celtic, Manchester United and Sunderland. If you get a chance, find the Celtic goal against Lyon online. It's on YouTube, but the fuckers have cut the 20 passes leading up to it, something entirely out of the Argentina/Serbia playbook, and a whole 2 and a half years earlier too. Anyhow, this marks 3 years in a row a young sports man has produced a points bonanza in deadpooling, after Mark Farren and Joost van der Westhuizen. So what games does this change? Well, Sean goes 3-0 up on newcomers Fixed Business. Rad also takes the lead against Bibliogryphon, with a better goal than the Magill penalty from last year. John Key pulls back against Gcreptile to make that 4-3. Celtic fan charon scores with a Celt to take the lead against MPFC. Grim equalises against the Banker from Huddersfield (picked at random), and currently leads on age difference. And another age difference lead comes for The Dead Cow, who equalises his hotly contested tie with Pedro. This leaves 5 of the 12 games goalless, including yours truly. Notably Rover is still holding Spade Cooley after 9 days of competition. 1. Charon (Unrepentant) vs Maryportfuncity (Inter Youngboys FC) 3-0 2. Pedro (Trottingbum Hotsores) vs The Dead Cow 3-3 3. Young Willz (Glasgow Ron Weasley Ed Sheeran Slash Fanfiction Thistle Wanderers United) vs The Engineer 0-0 4. Grim Up North (Going Going GUN) vs Yorkshire Banker 3-3 5. Msc vs Wormfarmer 0-0 6. Spade Cooley (Great Railway Journeys with Hughie Gallacher and Robert Enke) vs Roverandout 0-0 7. Joey Russ vs Garn (Video Assistant Reaper) 4-0 8. Bibliogryphon (Bye Bye Biblio) vs Phantom of the Midway (AKA Rad Guy) 0-3 9. Sean (Shaun of the Dead’s Magical Funeral Parlour) vs Fixed Business (Business Fixed) 3-0 10. Gcreptile (The eaten tide pods) vs John Key 4-3 11. Deathray (First In, First Out and Never Invited to an Orgy Again) vs Sir Creep (The Month-to-Month Tenants) 0-0 12. Captain Chorizo vs Book (Never Heard of Soccer) 0-0

...well, for this dead pool.....clearly I included him on the DDP

No worries, when you vote to secede from the United Kingdom errr, I mean are a history nerd, it tends to do well to know the in and outs.

Actually, it's not. You mean the United Kingdom (of Great Britain and Northern Ireland - N Ireland added on because not in Great Britain, you see). Great Britain is the island on which the mighty Scots, the English and some Welsh types live. N Ireland's part of Ireland, another of the islands in the archipelago (The British Isles) but call them Irish or Brits and you'll piss off someone.

This week (copy and paste from the BBC): The actor John Mahoney who played Marty Crane in one of America's best-loved sitcoms, Frasier. Hannah Hauxwell, whose solitary life as a farmer in the Yorkshire Dales, made her a favourite on the Deathlist.net forums. Scientist Ken Seddon, a global leader in his field of inorganic chemistry and pioneer of so-called 'super solvents'. Landowner Sir John Cotterell, who helped raise funds to save the Mappa Mundi from being sold by Hereford Cathedral. And feminist icon, Naomi Parker Fraley, the inspiration for "Rosie the riveter", the factory worker who featured in a US wartime poster.

That's old news. Been happening since around 2015.

Double topped himself?

Aye, cis she can't wave her hands around...

Oh, the Kid is back with porn links!

I am most unhappy with Curry’s. I have sent them the following message: ***MISSING***PLEASE SHARE*** Lost, 55” Samsung QLED TV, last seen being put in the back of a Team Know How van on Monday 5th February. Our tragic story begins three months ago – having come into a little windfall, we decided to treat ourselves and bought a brand spanking new Samsung TV, complete with soundbar, Bluray DVD player, new TV unit, the lot. We spent about £3000 in all in Curry’s at Cribb’s Causeway in Bristol. We took out a repair policy, just in case – you do everything you can to protect those that you love, right? The three of us – me, my husband and our lovely new very expensive telly, all lived in perfect harmony, until last Sunday – just three short months into it’s life, the telly stopped working. It would switch off and then on again, repeatedly, every 20 or 30 seconds – it was unwatchable. We were devastated, and phoned the repair centre in the hope that they could save our beloved telly. Alas, they said it was clearly faulty and we would have to have it repaired. We were a little perturbed at this, as we believed that a three month old TV should not go wrong, and that we should get a replacement, but we went with it, and the next day, the TV and connection box was collected. We sadly waved it off from our front door, silent tears of grief trickling down our podgy faces. But we knew that it was for the best, and that the TV would be back with us today, the 10th February. We knew this because I received two texts telling me so – we couldn’t wait for our allotted time slot of 7.40-11.40am. As 11.40am approached this morning, with no sign of our beloved telly, I started to feel a little worried, but knowing that the M4 can be a bit of a nightmare sometimes, I kept my trust in Team Know How, and remained in place by the front door, eagerly listening out for the tap on the glass. That tap didn’t come, so at 12.28pm, I rang the Team Know How call centre. Eventually, 15 minutes later, a chap answered, I explained our concern that our TV had not returned to the warm and welcoming bosom of home, and he put me on hold for another 8 minutes while he rang the depot. At 12.51, he came back on the line to tell me that the depot had advised him that the TV would be delivered but there’d been a two hour delay in deliveries, so I was to wait another two hours, and to call back if the TV hadn’t arrived. Well, dear readers, the TV did not arrive, so I rang the call centre back at 2.31pm. After 10 minutes, another chap answered, and very rudely told me I was through to the wrong department, he abruptly asked for my details (although I’m surprised he could hear them as he kept talking over me) and at 2.42pm he put me back on hold while he transferred me to the right department. At 2.44pm, the wrong department answered, and once again, a rude man told me I was at the wrong department and put me back on hold, this time for 20 minutes. Finally at 3.04pm, a lady called Tracy answered – I explained yet again our harrowing story and guess what? Tracy put me on hold again, for another 12 minutes, while she rang the depot to find out where my poor television had got to. At 3.20pm, Tracy finally came back to me with the tragic news – ‘we don’t know where your TV is’. Well you can imagine my horror! Tracy said she would have to investigate, and that she would ring me back, before her shift end at 6pm. Give Tracy her due, she did indeed ring me back at 3.41pm, however the news was not good. She said the television was definitely lost! And not only was it lost, nobody was going to bother looking for it until Monday! And then it would take them another five days to let me know where my very expensive new telly is! As I’m sure you will understand, this gave me cause for great concern, however, knowing we had the repair and replacement policy that we are paying a monthly premium for, and knowing it says ‘if our repair takes more than 7 days we will give you a replacement’, I told Tracy that in the meantime, I would like her to arrange a replacement. Sadly, Tracy refused, telling me that even though we are paying for a policy guaranteeing us a replacement, we can’t have a replacement, as the policy doesn’t provide replacements. The one thing Tracy does have going for her is a cracking line in sarcasm, as when I expressed my displeasure at the non-service I was receiving, and said I would never use her company again, she said ‘well it’s not MY company, is it Mrs Smith?’. That really helped matters, but then, I suppose if I was her, being paid minimum wage to work weekends in a call centre, I wouldn’t give a flying monkey’s about Mrs Smith and her missing expensive TV either. So here I am, on a Saturday night, with nothing but a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts,a pizza-stained t-shirt and a foaming-at-the-mouth husband for company – I don’t know where my TV is, I don’t know when anyone at Curry’s/Team Know Nothing is going to do anything about it, and most importantly of all, I don’t know what’s happening in Casualty tonight. This is not the end, Curry’s……….