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I would probably watch the majority of those above the actual films.

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Susan Sarandon is haunted by the ghost of a sex offender in the supernatural thriller dead man wanking. 

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20 minutes ago, The Mad Hatter said:

Susan Sarandon is haunted by the ghost of a sex offender in the supernatural thriller dead man wanking. 

Its only on the previous page!!!!

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Id love to see a remake of The Marx Brothers Classic 'Fuck Soup'

Then, maybe, follow it with that cunnilingus classic 'The Licker Man'

To close an evening of entertainment, you would have to sit down and watch a bit of British satire, namely The Cock Brief.

 

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Following on from last year's effort, here are the list of Best Film Oscar Nominees:

 

Timothee Chalamet and Armie Hammer star in a romantic coming of age movie that ends in genocide in Cull Me By Your Name.

 

Gary Oldman re-imagines World War II in which Owen Wilson becomes British PM in Dorkest Hour.

 

Christopher Nolan directs the epic story of the evacuation of a local Church Bake Sale in Bun Kirk.

 

Daniel Kaluuya and Alison Williams star in the racially charged story of a dispute over a bad tennis call in Let, Out.

 

Greta Gerwig directs Saoirse Ronan as a woman who is not all she appears to be in Laddy Bird.

 

In his farewell role, Daniel Day-Lewis hears the heavy footfall of ghosts in Phantom Tread.

 

When journalists are forced to become catwalk models, Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep try to outdo each other in The Pose.

 

Frances McDormand draws the attention of a small town to the joys of forks with three prongs instead of four in Threek Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.

 

Sally Hawkins tries her hand at deadpooling when she discovers how unwell Chekhov from Star Trek is in The Shape Of Walter.

 

 

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These have probably been done before but aye whatever (also im bad at these lol)

Owen Wilson is Grizabella McQueen in the new Cats film

Dump 'n Dumper tells the love story between a garbage man - played by Jim Carrey - and a gorgeous redhead who gets her plans to get money to her husband ruined by the garbage man - played by Lauren Holly.

Fig tells the story of one Tom Hanks who is allergic to figs and fig trees and tries to do his best to avoid them while growing up.

Office Spacey tells the story of one Kevin Spacey who was accused of workplace sexual harassment. Can he get out of this nut? -_-

 

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A teenage boy tries hard to convince his peers that his beard is legitimate - Not Fuzz

The prostitutes of a murdered pimp seek revenge - Dead Man's Hoes

 

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On ‎23‎/‎01‎/‎2018 at 14:32, YoungWillz said:

Following on from last year's effort, here are the list of Best Film Oscar Nominees:

 

Timothee Chalamet and Armie Hammer star in a romantic coming of age movie that ends in genocide in Cull Me By Your Name.

 

Gary Oldman re-imagines World War II in which Owen Wilson becomes British PM in Dorkest Hour.

 

Christopher Nolan directs the epic story of the evacuation of a local Church Bake Sale in Bun Kirk.

 

Daniel Kaluuya and Alison Williams star in the racially charged story of a dispute over a bad tennis call in Let, Out.

 

Greta Gerwig directs Saoirse Ronan as a woman who is not all she appears to be in Laddy Bird.

 

In his farewell role, Daniel Day-Lewis hears the heavy footfall of ghosts in Phantom Tread.

 

When journalists are forced to become catwalk models, Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep try to outdo each other in The Pose.

 

Frances McDormand draws the attention of a small town to the joys of forks with three prongs instead of four in Threek Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.

 

Sally Hawkins tries her hand at deadpooling when she discovers how unwell Chekhov from Star Trek is in The Shape Of Walter.

 

 

Ach Wills - you're wasted :)

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The Bond Edition

 

Dr Ho:  Bond gives up the world of international espionage in favour of treating ladies of negotiable affection

From Prussia With Love:  Budget version of the first film

Thunderpall:  Deathlisting the 007 way

Coldfinger:  The sequel to the above

You Only Love Twice:  Bond tackles the tricky subject of fake Vi   agra

Diamonds Tar Forever:  Something sinister in the world of aggregates - paging Commander Bond.

Live And Let Dine:  It's Bond vs Hannibal Lecter

The Man With The Golden Gut.  Bond's on the trail of some very lucrative drugs mules

Octopissy.  Evil 80 year old women literally plot to flood the world with their own especial micturation

The Spy Who Gloved Me:  Caring 007 delivers mittens

 

To Be Continued muhahahahahhahah

 

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Enjoy a tropical workout this new year with Pilates of the Caribbean

Rural workmen get the reassignment they've always dreamed of in Transfarmers

Uncover the mystery of an undead Emperor: Finding Nero

Not the longest of films: Dude, There's My Car

A horrific tale of kidnapping via forced caesarians: Womb Raider

...and Uncle Fuck.

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The Wives of Others - A seedy look into the swinging underworld.

Mingin' in the Rain - A successful businessman has an unfortunate secret.  Whenever water lands on his skin it produces a foul odour.

The Stung - Recovery group for wasp victims.

Good Wall Hunting - Meticulous home builder seeks perfect structure.

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Make the impossible possible: Salmon Fishing in the Semen

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Football themed

 

Oldfoy - an awe inspiring biographical film about the extraordinary life and times of retired football referee chris foy.

 

the killing of the sacred dia - a tribal group in senegal think killing ali dia is the only way to cure them of aids. Join the gang in this amusing roller coaster of emotions!

 

Silence of the rams - Derby county fans are rounded up and summarily executed.But Derby county fans are about to find out that being a victim of mass murder is harder than it looks.

 

 

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4 hours ago, the_engineer said:

Football themed

 

Oldfoy - an awe inspiring biographical film about the extraordinary life and times of retired football referee chris foy.

 

the killing of the sacred dia - a tribal group in senegal think killing ali dia is the only way to cure them of aids. Join the gang in this amusing roller coaster of emotions!

 

Silence of the rams - Derby county fans are rounded up and summarily executed.But Derby county fans are about to find out that being a victim of mass murder is harder than it looks.

 

 

You are only supposed to change ONE letter.

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Two cowboys meet, fall in love and ditch their demanding job for a career in specialist watersport based porn - Brokeback Fountain

 

Chubby kid-friendly dinosaur suffers PTSD after witnessing a murder soon after emerging from the egg - it blights his life and relationships but Hitchcock tells the story to perfection - Barnie

 

Great white shark's attempt to terrorise a holiday resort comes to grief as he repeatedly ingests ocean going plastic; especially cast off tubs previously filled with peanut butter - Jars

 

Woman with ability to nosh cocks down to the sac discovers incredible talent of mimicking singer in dodgy UK prog band - Heep Throat

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

You are only supposed to change ONE letter.

 

Yea but i get special treatment since i'm intellectually on the breadline.

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Last and Furious - film about a very angry street racer who always finishes dead last.

 

A Lard Day's Night - members of the Beatles attempt to consume as much lard as humanly possible in the course of 90 minutes.

 

Paul Blart: Call Cop:  - unable to get a job in security Paul Blart becames an FBI listening agent, the only problem being him the call centre being taken hostage, he has to use the phones to get out the situation.

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- Stephanie Clifford wins her law suits and brings down the Trump administration in The Perfect Stormy

- A Trump-themed biopic chronicling his transformation into a bloated carcass in The Food, the Bad and the Ugly

- Trump's interactions with a news outlet increasingly becomes like white-noise in The Fox and the Sound

- Donald Trump gets chased by a swarm in Fat-Man and the Wasp

- Melania gets her wish and remains unemotional at her husbands funeral in Blank Widow

 

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Yes, the Oscar Noms are out, so it is that time of year again. Eight nominees for Best Picture....how much better would they be if these were the actual films?

 

Freddie Mercury takes on the Sugarhill Gang in a battle of the spoken word set to the music of Queen, in Bohemian Rap-sody. (Yes, this was a fucker, sorry).

 

A black cop from Colorado goes undercover to expose the rise of Neo-Nazism and the terrible secret of a team member of the West German football team, in BlackkKlinsman.

 

The 18th century Royal court is outraged that a colonist from the Americas is challenging for the succession as the Queen, especially as she cannot spell correctly, in The Favorite.

 

A jazz pianist and his bodyguard travel to Eastern Europe to change their minds on climate change, in Green Blok.

 

Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga get rough with each other in animated form in the Lion King prequel, A Scar Is Born.

 

Every problem Dick Cheney is faced with is a real headscratcher, in Lice.

 

Due to a misprint on a letter from her agent, Valerie Harper travels to Mexico to make a beloved sitcom about a housekeeper in troubled times in Roda.

 

The region of Wakanda is faced with a crime wave when the main character discovers what his real superhero power is, in Black Pantser.

 

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