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The wife has been missing for five days now. Police told me to prepare for the worst. So I’ve been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back, and have stopped fucking her sister.

So trains not motorways?

Was just on The Graham Norton Show. Very slow walking to the couch, but seemed to be in fine fettle once he started talking.

If you were fisted by Jeremy Beadle as a kid,you knew if he really liked you by what hand he used .

Check the rules of any dead pools you're entered in first - a few of them disqualify you if you kill team members yourself

I agree but more because that's where all the politicians and bankers are and it sucks the life out of the rest of the country (countries for those not actually in the shire :P) than for any crime stats. The former are largely responsible for the latter.

Condolences, Fixy. At least you were able to say goodbye, in whatever fashion.

Sorry to hear this both Handy and Fixed. Always horrendous news.

Patsy Dan Rodgers, the 'king' of Toraigh aka Tory Island, has died. He was 74. https://www.rte.ie/news/ulster/2018/1019/1005445-king-of-toraigh/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tory_Island

Phil Collins. He's out-aged Peter Gabriel and looks to be steadying himself with the microphone stand. Besides, I think that's God standing behind him with the guitar starting around the 3:05 mark of the song, so he might not have long to go.

Article is 3 years old. They all probably dead by now....

Horst Herold, police mastermind during the time of the Red Army Faction, Germany's home-grown terror, turns 95 in 2 days: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horst_Herold The inventor of dragnet (is that how you say it?). He had a heart attack in 1980 and his wife died last year: http://www.spiegel.de/einestages/horst-herold-wird-95-letzter-gefangener-der-raf-bundeskriminalamt-chef-der-70er-a-1233549.html (german link)

Yes and what an utter c**t he is.

Helen White has died. https://www.scnow.com/news/local/article_5c8e5312-d33d-11e8-8a3f-ebb420eeae59.html (blocked by GDPR)

I had the misfortune to see a discussion on This Morning yesterday. Called ‘Are Fairy Tales sexist’? It basically envolved a snowflake saying that as Snow White didn’t given permission for her kiss it was abuse. And that all female characters in Fairy Tales needed updating to show strong female empowerment and that they didn’t need a Prince as this was unrealistic to real life. The other classic last week was that you should ask your babies permission to change their nappy as this could be viewed as getting into their personal space and humiliating them. This should start immediately from birth. (No advice given for the period where they can’t talk). I just roll my eyes at this generation.....

Not all terrorists are bad. I bought a kebab off one the other day and he gave me a free bottle of Coke.

Get Buzz Aldrin on the list.

Nai Palm death?

N. D. Tiwari dead. And on his 93rd birthday too. Party pooper. Edit: Not a state leader - my mistake!

He was guaranteed to die soon. I had him locked down 2019 DDP but all the good ones are taken.

In the late 1960s, Michael Caine was approached by Jim Morrison, Ray Manzarek, Robby Krieger, John Densmore. The idea was that they all wanted oral sex from his wife and offered an outrageous sum of money to do so. Caine obliged. When all was set and done Michael Caine walked in to collect his dough and noticed Mick Jagger and Keith Richards stripped to their ankles as well. Caine turned to his wife and yelled, “you were only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off!”

I think it changed a while ago. You need to copy the actual image. If it's on your computer you'll need to upload to the interwebs using one of the many interwebby type upload sites and then copy it from there.

regurgitate mooch fetid

It sounds more like something you'd warn your friends about than a success story "oh Stacey's gone viral, I'd wear a johnny if I were you!"

Sadly last night she passed away. She was in a coma for the last couple days so it's not very surprising (again). My dad is absolutely devastated. Rest in Peace GMA.