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Ask Not for Whom the Bill Turns... It Turns for Bull British radio and TV presenter Bill Turnbull has died of prostate cancer at the age of 66 – 4 years out from announcing his diagnosis and disclosing his fears that he might only have 12 years to live. Best known for presenting BBC Breakfast, that weirdly tense thing your dad has on in the morning where it's nominally a light-hearted magazine show but everyone consistently dresses and behaves like they're afraid they might have to announce a major royal death any second, he also made various other TV appearances, including a stint on Strictly Come Dancing you don't remember at all, and Richard Osman's House of Games, where he's only the second contestant to die, after Carlos Menem was taken out by a particularly brutal Answer Smash. (You know how usually terminal cancer patients get really skinny near the end, but sometimes they get really bloated instead? I don't know the science, all I know is it seems like change of shape = imminent doom. In any case, it looks like 18 of you didn't see the 2021 House of Games where he looked like he'd been fished straight out of the ocean before shooting. Still, he won his week, so there's a legacy for you.) Some of you are paying a hefty Bill on Turnbull – including @msc, who incurs the first 25-point penalty of the year, @Hell, who reclaims the bottom spot where they at least thematically belong, and poor dependable thread updater @YoungWillz, who plummets from a promising podium placement to middle-of-the-board misery. But it's only 5 points that see fortunes turn to a load of bull for @theoldlady – she falls to joint 2nd with a rising @Newjack, and we have a new leader in @Pedro67. Congratulations, Pedro67! And this time, it won't be immediately superseded by another update I'm already supposed to have written, because I think we're caught up! GAINED TOTAL 1. Pedro67 3 2. theoldlady +5 6 2. Newjack 6 4. machotrouts 7 5. Sean 8 6. Sideik 9 7. YorkshireBanker 10 8. An Fear Beag 14 9. BuffaloPhil 15 9. gcreptile 15 11. CaptainChorizo +3 18 11. Joey Russ 18 13. Funeralopolis +6 20 13. GuyFromFuture +6 20 13. Philip 20 16. LizLemon 21 17. Nick +8 22 17. Book 22 17. MariNisia 22 17. Predictor 22 17. Banana 22 22. Toast 23 23. YoungWillz +19 24 23. Grim Up North +14 24 23. Pedro67's wife +1 24 26. ThereWillBeDeaths7 25 27. MortalCaso 26 28. wannamaker 27 29. drol +11 28 29. The Unknown Man 28 31. deadsox 31 31. The Old Crem 31 33. Death Impends +12 32 33. Spade_Cooley 32 35. TQR 33 36. Sir Creep +8 37 37. CastAway +8 38 38. BabyBlue 39 39. Annami +10 40 40. Bibliogryphon +14 41 40. Great Uncle Bulgaria 41 42. Perhaps +8 44 43. msc +25 50 44. Neobrakeon 58 45. machotrouts' mum +12 70 46. chilean way 71 47. Doulton 72 48. Hell +17 81

No One Out-Pizzas the Reaper Pizza Hut mascot Mikhail Gorbachev has died at the age of 91. Gorbachev, a figure from a happier time when pizza was a symbol of international cooperation in politics and not satanic paedophile cellars, also had a little-known career as the Soviet Union leader who presided over his country's liberalisation and ultimate dissolution, noted for his policies of glasnost (openness), perestroika (restructuring), and margherita (cheese and tomato). Gorbachev, winner of the Nobel Pizza Prize for his role in ending the Cold War era and starting the Hot Pizza era, leaves an ambivalent legacy among the left – was he the heroically doomed but necessary reformer of Soviet communism, or the fool who sold out a flawed but worthy cause to shill pizza for American capitalist pigs? What we do know is, he was undeniably that guy with the big purple thing on his head. Gorbachev also proves to be a great reformer of the Inverse Dead Pool leaderboard. @Sir Creep and @msc, who were quietly creeping up on the top 10, are suddenly banished to oblivion in exactly the kind of Stalinist erasure poor Gorby hoped to put a stop to, and we also have a new bottom 2, thanks to @Doulton and @chilean way gambling big on the continued survival of the regularly hospitalised nonagenarian who everyone seemed to think was long dead already (that's three people doing worse than my mum now, so thanks everyone!). Furthermore, five of the pre-Gorbadeath top six are hit with points (only @Pedro67 comes away unscathed), which means ol' Mikky Gorbo also presides over the dissolution of the Zero Points Club, with @Sean and @theoldlady receiving their first points of the game. But, with Sean receiving 8 points and theoldlady only 1, we finally have our first leaderboard with an individual leader – congratulations, theoldlady! Of course, if we're to see through this dissolution of the Soviet Union analogy, that probably makes her... Russia? So she's responsible for all that shit in Ukraine? theoldlady, you should be ashamed of yourself. GAINED TOTAL 1. theoldlady +1 1 2. Pedro67 3 3. YoungWillz +4 5 4. Newjack 6 5. machotrouts 7 6. Sean +8 8 7. Sideik 9 8. YorkshireBanker 10 8. Grim Up North 10 10. Nick +9 14 10. Funeralopolis 14 10. GuyFromFuture 14 10. An Fear Beag 14 14. BuffaloPhil +9 15 14. CaptainChorizo 15 14. gcreptile 15 17. drol 17 18. Joey Russ 18 19. Philip +2 20 19. Death Impends 20 21. LizLemon 21 22. Book 22 22. MariNisia 22 22. Predictor 22 22. Banana 22 26. Toast 23 26. Pedro67's wife 23 28. msc +13 25 28. ThereWillBeDeaths7 25 30. MortalCaso 26 31. wannamaker +9 27 31. Bibliogryphon 27 33. The Unknown Man +3 28 34. Sir Creep +18 29 35. CastAway 30 35. Annami 30 37. deadsox +7 31 37. The Old Crem 31 39. Spade_Cooley 32 40. TQR 33 41. Perhaps +12 36 42. BabyBlue 39 43. Great Uncle Bulgaria +3 41 44. Neobrakeon 58 44. machotrouts' mum 58 46. Hell 64 47. chilean way +17 71 48. Doulton +22 72

I laughed for a long time at this:

Her twitter feed is a goldmine

Once again, Dame* Susie Dent wins the day: *Make this happen immediately

Slovakian player Alexander Horváth who was part of 1970 Czechoslovakian team, died on 31 August 2022 https://sport.aktuality.sk/c/CK12jXE/slovan-bratislava-prisiel-o-klubovu-legendu-zomrel-kapitan-vitazov-pvp-v-bazileji/

Probably because of all the fist thumping on the table whenever Meghan and/or Prince Andrew do something stupid.

Only to replace her with Suella Braverman who makes Priti look like a saint in comparison.

Lizzie's social media team didn't go back far enough I see....

An incompetent whackjob replaced by a calculating one. I agree: not a good upgrade. And Cleverly at the Foreign Office: Boris, Raab, Truss and now Cleverly! Is it any wonder we're a laughing stock when these people are appointed our top diplomat?

Ten years ago today, English naturalist Terry Nutkins lost all his Animal Magic, aged 66.

Former badminton and tennis champ who also played in the Davis Cup, Jeff Robson reportedly dead aged 95: https://bwfbadminton.com/news-single/2022/09/06/badminton-community-mourns-passing-of-jeff-robson/

4th time's a charm

Her plane had to circle at Aberdeen due to fog. Can you imagine the political carnage if it had crashed?!

Top 3 for 8 months, and it comes to this, lol. Thanks @machotrouts, those update commentaries were well worth the wait! Next one imminent I feel, keep your quill to hand.

I am going to try for the best case scenario Liz Truss (who has previously been a Lib Dem and a Remainer) is clearly adept at seeing which way the wind is blowing to allow her to charge to the front and say follow me. She has spent the past month trying to court a bunch of white, old, racist rich people by appealing to all their worst tendencies but now if she wants to stay in power beyond January 2025 she now needs to turn towards the wider electorate who are crying out for interventionist solutions. So she ditches all the really unpopular things and tries to build a centrist consensus have a massive programme of help for the cost of living crisis and make overtures to the EU to make Brexit work. The only problem she would then face is her own party. However, even if she looked like a kindly sort of person (she doesn't) this whole situation has the feel of the John Major years when the country was so fed up with a Conservative Government nothing was going to save them.

Things aren't going well for Andrew - Brexit - Bridgen, so badly in fact that if he has to find all the money he suddenly owes he could be forced to declare bankruptcy, thereby barring himself from being an MP. Majority of 20,400 with the Lib Dems a distant spec in third place. So, obviously, no chance of an upset to rival Tiverton and Honiton, right? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11178213/Tory-MP-Andrew-Bridgen-ordered-1-5million-five-bed-family-home-800-000-costs.html

The GRO Index has been updated to include all deaths up to the end of 2021 (remembering that not all Dec 2021 deaths will be included if they weren’t registered until 2022). Anyone want any names checked?

Posthumously?

And it's official

And Dorries.Two good things.

Write a horror story in 6 words. Poor man's Margaret Thatcher elected PM.