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Open the Pearly Gates, Hal Austin Powers, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, and Austin Powers in Goldmember star Burt Bacharach has died at the age of 94. In addition to his film career, he was also known as the tunes-composing half (i.e. the important half) of a songwriting partnership with lyricist Hal David, with whom he wrote the greatest hits of the 1960s and 70s, including 'I'll Never Fall in Love Again' (unfortunately, correct), 'I Say a Little Prayer' (unfortunately, he needed a big one), 'Only Love Can Break a Heart' (unfortunately, so can being 94 years old), and 'They Long to Be Close to You' (unfortunately, "They" refers to maggots). Lyrics jokes would be more apt for a Hal David obit, but rest assured that I am typing this very melodically. Raindrops are falling on a lot of players' heads, but that doesn't mean your eyes will soon be turning red. Unfortunately, your names on the leaderboard will, not least that of our first player to lose their 25-pointer: my mum. Of course, she did some talking to her son, and she said she didn't like the way I got things done. There are many more Tragic Moments on our inaugural leaderboard: 20 points for @MariNisia, 17 for faded ex-Inverse champ @TQR, 16 for 2023 debutantes @CalebH and @TheSpinosaurus (hello anyway) plus @wannamaker (wannamake it easy on yourself?), and 15 points for @Sir Creep. Never mind, I'm sure the next update will be better for him. GAINED TOTAL = 1. LizLemon 0 = 1. CaptainChorizo 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. msc 0 = 1. Perhaps 0 = 1. Summer in Transylvania 0 = 1. tracy 0 = 1. Death Impends 0 = 1. Alcalina 0 = 1. Book 0 = 1. Annami 0 ▼ 12. Spade_Cooley +1 1 ▼ 13. diego +2 2 ▼ 13. Sean +2 2 ▼ 15. Grimgrass +3 3 ▼ 15. gcreptile +3 3 ▼ 17. marinade +4 4 ▼ 17. BuffaloPhil +4 4 ▼ 17. Nick +4 4 ▼ 17. machotrouts +4 4 ▼ 21. BabyBlue +6 6 ▼ 22. Captain Hemlock +7 7 ▼ 22. ThereWillBeDeaths7 +7 7 ▼ 22. Newjack +7 7 ▼ 25. Joey Russ +9 9 ▼ 25. Pedro67 +9 9 ▼ 25. MortalCaso +9 9 ▼ 28. Funeralopolis +10 10 ▼ 28. Hell +10 10 ▼ 28. En Passant +10 10 ▼ 31. The Unknown Man +11 11 ▼ 31. nantonian2013 +11 11 ▼ 31. chilean way +11 11 ▼ 31. YoungWillz +11 11 ▼ 31. The Old Crem +11 11 ▼ 31. An Fear Beag +11 11 ▼ 37. Bibliogryphon +12 12 ▼ 37. Torva Messor +12 12 ▼ 39. deadsox +13 13 ▼ 39. Grim Up North +13 13 ▼ 39. theoldlady +13 13 ▼ 39. Wormfarmer +13 13 ▼ 43. Toast +14 14 ▼ 44. Sir Creep +15 15 ▼ 45. wannamaker +16 16 ▼ 45. TheSpinosaurus +16 16 ▼ 45. CalebH +16 16 ▼ 48. TQR +17 17 ▼ 49. MariNisia +20 20 ▼ 50. machotrouts' mum +25 25

Although this isn't surprising, it truly is the end of a particular era. I was reading a book about Stirling Moss recently, with one of his main rivals in a hill climb being McAlpine. This was from 1948, and I thought it incredible anyone racing from 75 years ago was still alive. RIP

Mary Quant dead at 93.

Sorry, just took a couple of months' leave from the forum in the hope of seeding a rumour that I was secretly Burt Bacharach. Did it work? Here, because I haven't posted it yet, is the complete list of Inverse Dead Pool 2023 candidates, ranked by the total number of points you've all assigned them. The top and bottom halves are colour-coded – the green half is what your team would look like if you were the exact statistical average Inverse Dead Pool player, and the red half is what your team would look like if you didn't read the rules properly. TOTAL POINTS # OF TEAMS 1 Donald Trump 1147 49 2 Vladimir Putin 916 48 3 Ozzy Osbourne 841 48 4 Bill Cosby 834 44 5 Clint Eastwood 817 45 6 Billy Connolly 806 48 7 Phil Collins 799 45 8 Buzz Aldrin 780 46 9 Dick Van Dyke 749 44 10 Rupert Murdoch 710 44 11 David Attenborough 609 42 12 Shane MacGowan 594 39 13 Prunella Scales 531 43 14 Mel Brooks 496 44 15 Willie Nelson 488 43 16 Yoko Ono 457 39 17 Burt Bacharach 392 39 18 Randy Jackson 368 35 19 Shannen Doherty 353 33 20 Linda Nolan 266 28 21 Tony Bennett 257 26 22 Janey Godley 248 27 23 Rhod Gilbert 228 26 23 Stanley Baxter 228 32 25 Tim Bilton 202 23 26 Francoise Hardy 195 21 27 Bobby Charlton 176 22 28 Harry Belafonte 169 20 29 Henry Kissinger 162 16 30 Eva Marie Saint 161 25 31 Roberta Flack 146 14 32 Ted Kaczynski 134 16 33 Kate Keltie 127 20 34 Jimmy Carter 115 13 35 Andy Taylor 97 16 36 Bob Barker 81 11 37 Glynis Johns 67 13 38 Rob Burrow 58 7 38 Larry Pressler 58 8 40 Frank Field 55 5 41 Johnny Ruffo 51 11 42 Ryuichi Sakamoto 49 4 43 Rolf Harris 46 3 44 Joanne Woodward 44 9 45 George Alagiah 41 3 46 Jonnie Irwin 37 2 47 Nigel Starmer-Smith 31 5 48 Steve McMichael 22 3 49 Simon Cowell (wildlife) 10 2 50 James Whale 4 1 For the second year running, our healthiest candidate is Donald Trump, who is not only picked by 49 out of 50 players – omitted only by my mum's wishful thinking team – but receives the maximum 25 points from 38 of them. Inverse Dead Poolers have banked a collective 1147 points on his survival, not far short of the potential maximum of 1250. With Vladimir Putin also being declared hale and hearty by the community, it looks like the Russian bot infilitration of Deathlist is a success. 2023's statistical fuckedest candidate is James Whale, with only 4 points donated by @Great Uncle Bulgaria to the cause of Whale conservation. Still, 2022's fuckedest candidate, Frank Field – who had a total of 1 point last year – is not only still with us, but apparently doing 55 times better this year. Hospice care really works! (Burt Bacharach and Ryuichi Sakamoto obits/updates coming ASAP.)

Kenneth McAlpine is the most selected pick in the F1 groups so it is points all round 1. Kenneth McAlpine bg, lf, td, mn, dg, ti, ms, ro, af, gr, oc, to, bp, di No-one moves into a winning position but @RoverAndOut now has three in one category and @Death Impends has one in three separate categories @gcreptile & @Spade_Cooley are out in the lead with four hits each

Death Notice for Kenneth McAlpine aged 102: http://announcements.telegraph.co.uk/deaths/263523/mcalpine DDP pick. Edit: Oops, I guess I should post the text for those who have an issue: McALPINE Kenneth OBE DL. Died peacefully during the night, on 8th April 2023, aged 102. Much loved husband of Patricia, father to Richard and James, and grandfather to Thomas, Melissa, Hamish and Sophia. The family would welcome donations to the Hospice in the Weald, Pembury (www.hospiceintheweald.org.uk).

Was his reply something to the likes of "you owe me six pounds of Irish coffee?"

Kenneth McAlpine is a hit for @TheSpinosaurus, @MariNisia, @arghton, @ThereWillBeDeaths7, @Death Impends, @Bibliogryphon, @The Old Crem and @CaptainChorizo CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Have you considered... 1. Obama served eight years, Trump only four? 2. Many people get their first grey hairs in their early thirties, with full on grey hair (or no hair at all) by their early fifties. Trump at 69 was already far beyond the age most people turn grey, so four years in office weren't likely to change that. 3. Trump hid his real hair colour and skin complection by dying his hair and usage of Oompa Loompa Skin Care™ products. 4. Your Dorian Gray comparison only seems to work on the "is scared to age and will do anything to make himself look better" front. I don't think Trump looked particularly healthy or youthful in office, and in recent pictures he does look like a normal, if not particularly grumpy, American man in his mid to late seventies. Besides his weight I don't see any imminent (natural) health risks for Trump, on average he looks better than Clinton and worse than Bush. On Biden, yes he his well beyond his prime and seems lost or forgetful more than many other people in their early eighties. But that's no death sentence at that age. Had he not been president but member of the local stamp collection club, people would probably say he was a typical eighty year old.

Are you Jimmy Carter?

I believe Hermano Da Silva Ramos (born 1925) is the oldest living F1 driver now?

Interesting trivia. No US President has died in the month of May, maybe Jimmy Carter will be the first.

Looking fine. First time she is shown since her operation. https://ekstrabladet.dk/underholdning/kongelige/danskekongelige/viser-sig-foerste-gang-siden-operationen/9716350

Mary Quant is a hit for ladyfiona. Congratulations. 1923: Al Quie / Ruth Stiles Gannett 1924: Jimmy Carter / Eva Marie Saint 1925: Jacques Delors / June Lockhart 1926: Harry Connick Sr. / Marilyn Knowlden 1927: Harry Belafonte / Cleo Laine 1928: Dick Clark / Ann Blyth 1929: Peter Angelos / Winnie Ewing 1930: Sonny Rollins / Joanne Woodward 1931: Daniel Ellsberg / Barbara Barrie 1932: Andrew Young / Nancy Kassebaum

I'm going to get 4 F1 drivers and be screwed by Schumacher. I can see it coming. There's going to be others in the same boat though I imagine. Every hit in other categories could be crucial. Shaping up nicely again!

The US secret service leaks say that Putin undergoes chemotherapy: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/22012696/cancer-putin-chemo-plots-against-leaked-pentagon-docs/ I kind of do wonder though if those leaks are intentional, or even misleading on purpose.

On this day 1 year ago, French actor Michel Bouquet, who starred in the movies "Toto the Hero" and "Renoir", passed away at the age of 96.

Oh if this bothers you then you'll enjoy these: Then the photos of all candidates pouring and drinking Guinness.

Well we know he won't be the first to die in Georgia.

46 Britney Spears – Baby one more time 41 Cornershop – Brimful Of Asha 40 Fatboy Slim — Praise You 37 ATB – 9P.M. (Till I Come) 36 B*witched – C'est La Vie 36 Manic Street Preachers – If You Tolerate This, Your Children Will Be Next 35 The Tamperer ft. Maya – Feel It 34 Backstreet Boys – I Want It That Way 33 All Saints — Never Ever 33 All Saints – Bootie Call 32 S Club 7 – Bring It All Back 31 Jamiroquai – Deeper Underground 31 Shanks & Bigfoot – Sweet Like Chocolate 31 Run DMC Vs. Jason Nevins – It´s Like That 30 Armand Van Helden ft. Duane Harden – You Don´t Know Me 26 Wamdue Project – King Of My Castle 26 Spice Girls — Viva Forever 24 Billie – Because We Want To 24 Madonna — Frozen +2 23 B*Witched – Rollercoaster 22 Eiffel 65 – Blue (Da Ba Dee) 22 Aqua – Turn Back Time +2 21 Usher – You Make Me Wanna... 21 Billie – Girlfriend 21 Mr. Oizo – Flat Beat 21 Christina Aguilera – Genie In A Bottle 20 B*Witched – To You I Belong 20 Steps – Heartbeat / Tragedy 20 B*Witched – Blame It On The Weatherman 18 All Saints – Under The Bridge / Lady Marmalade 15 Offspring – Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)  15 Aqua – Dr. Jones 14 Five — Keep on Movin’  13 Robbie Williams – Millennium 13 Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On 09 Boyzone – All That I Need 09 Ricky Martin – Livin´ La Vida Loca 08 Lenny Kravitz – Fly Away 08 Ronan Keating – When You Say Nothing At All -3 04 Geri Halliwell — Mi Chico Latino -3 04 Blondie - Maria Madonna seemed to be in twice, another victim of Paul's slightly muddled update. He gave her 4 points, so I deleted the 18 entry and kept the 22 entry.

Shannen Doherty. the actress who is very popular around Dead Pool circles, is 52 today

Ariana Grande answering the concerns about her weight and health on tiktok (link in this Vogue article) saying she has never been healthier and that her old body was unealthy. Considering how skinny she looks, I wouldn’t call it healthy. she also adds that « we should never talk shit about others’ problems blabla because you never know what they go through and that they may be already taken care of for their problem » anorexia to me…

I always preferred Homburg.

Giampiero Galeazzi a.k.a. Bisteccone (Big Steak) a veery big name in italian sport journalism is dead at 75. In 2018 went under my radar when he said in tv he was in his last 500 meters (with reference to rowing), in fact he was suffering from a severe form of diabetes which led him to death this morning. His commentary of the Seul's 1988 gold medal of the Abbagnale brothers was absolutely memorable.

I think Michael Palin will go first because the poor bastard will be on a train somewhere and someone will confuse him for Michael Portillo and sock him right in the face very hard. No actually I think it will go like this. 1. Eric Idle 2. John Cleese 3. Terry Gilliam 4/5 is a toss-up between Palin and Jones.