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Inverse Dead Pool 2024

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1. Donald Trump

2. Joe Biden

3. Ozzy Osbourne 

4. Michael J. Fox

5. Bruce Willis

6. Dick Van Dyke

7. Robert Wagner

8. William Shatner

9. Buzz Aldrin

10. Clint Eastwood

11. Rupert Murdoch

12. Linda Nolan

13. Yoko Ono

14. Shannen Doherty :rip: 12 points

15. Toby Keith:rip: 11 points

16. Billy Connolly

17. Pope Frances 

18. Denis Law

19. Andy Taylor 

20. Willie Nelson 

21. Prunella Scales

22. Rob Burrow:rip: 4 points

23. David Attenborough 

24. Dennis Skinner

25. Bob Newhart:rip: 1 point

 

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1. Donald Trump

2. Joe Biden

3. Bruce Willis

4. Andy Taylor

5. Mel Brooks

6. Pope Francis

7. Clint Eastwood

8. David Attenborough

9. William Shatner

10. Michael J. Fox

11. Denis Law

12. Janey Godley

13. Rupert Murdoch

14. Phil Collins

15. Ozzy Osbourne

16. Buzz Aldrin

17. Dick van Dyke

18. Linda Nolan

19. Yoko Ono

20. Toby Keith :rip:

21. Billy Connolly

22. Cleo Laine

23. Robert Wagner

24. Frank Caprio

25. Dave Myers :rip:

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  1. Joe Biden
  2. Donald Trump
  3. Michael J. Fox
  4. Clint Eastwood
  5. Janey Godley
  6. Andy Taylor
  7. Robert Wagner
  8. Buzz Aldrin
  9. Dick van Dyke
  10. Pope Francis
  11. Bruce Willis
  12. Rupert Murdoch
  13. Mel Brooks
  14. Frank Caprio
  15. Phil Collins
  16. Ozzy Osbourne
  17. William Shatner
  18. Billy Connolly
  19. Prunella Scales
  20. Dave Myers
  21. Shannen Doherty
  22. David Attenborough
  23. Linda Nolan
  24. Tim Bilton
  25. Erik Jansen

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I'll accept @Lafaucheuse as I hadn't definitively declared submissions closed with a post that says "submissions are definitely now closed", but submissions are definitely now closed.

 

Here's our complete list of Inverse Dead Pool 2024 candidates, ranked by the total number of points we've all banked on them, with a second column for how many teams they're on (out of a total 57). I've colour-coded the 51 names – the top slightly-less-than-half in green, and the bottom slightly-more-than-half in red.

 

    TOTAL POINTS # OF TEAMS
1 Joe Biden 1237 54
2 Donald Trump 1171 53
3 Michael J. Fox 1067 56
4 Andy Taylor 992 55
5 Billy Connolly 906 56
6 Clint Eastwood 898 53
7 William Shatner 880 53
8 Ozzy Osbourne 873 53
9 Buzz Aldrin 801 56
10 Janey Godley 793 48
11 Phil Collins 745 49
12 Bruce Willis 707 50
13 Dick van Dyke 671 51
14 Robert Wagner 597 47
15 Prunella Scales 534 51
16 Pope Francis 524 47
16 Rupert Murdoch 524 48
18 David Attenborough 467 47
19 Willie Nelson 452 43
20 Mel Brooks 417 38
21 Tim Bilton 376 35
22 Toby Keith 345 27
23 Yoko Ono 257 27
24 Dave Myers 233 26
25 Erik Jensen 220 21
26 Shannen Doherty 201 23
27 Linda Nolan 183 25
28 Paul Spencer 147 17
29 Cleo Laine 141 23
30 Denis Law 121 18
31 Dennis Skinner 110 18
32 Bob Newhart 107 17
33 Patrick Murray 101 14
34 Roberta Flack 90 12
35 Eva Marie Saint 82 22
36 Theo Burrell 77 8
37 Stanley Baxter 70 14
38 Frank Caprio 68 7
39 Frank Field 44 6
40 June Spencer 40 6
41 Esther Rantzen 39 8
42 James Whale 37 12
43 Michael Tilson Thomas 36 5
44 Rob Burrow 35 8
45 Joanne Woodward 29 4
46 Nigel Starmer-Smith 28 4
47 (Wildlife) Simon Cowell 27 6
48 Jonnie Irwin 16 1
49 Noam Chomsky 8 2
50 Jimmy Carter 1 1
51 Steve McMichael 0 0

 

Stop the count! Joe Biden defeats Donald Trump in the 2024 popular vote. A reassuring show of faith in American democracy that we don't all think the two presumptive main party candidates will be literally dead by election day.

 

Michael J. Fox has a healthy debut at #3, and Andy Taylor at #4 must be one of the biggest rises in Inverse Dead Pool history (I'm not checking) – he was #35 last year. Also, Billy Connolly at #5 was picked by literally every player other than my mum, and she only didn't pick him because she doesn't find him funny.

 

Not a single one of us picked Steve McMichael this year – he's the Inverse Dead Pool's first unanimous snub since Rush Limbaugh in 2021. On the bright side, the last place celebrity in 2023 was James Whale (who is now #42) and 2022 was Frank Field (now #38), so – congratulations Mr McMichael, looks like it's all uphill from here.

 

Also near the bottom is DDP #1 Jimmy Carter with exactly 1 point, donated by @JoeMoneypenny; Noam Chomsky has 4 points apiece from @Bentrovato and @Annami; and all 16 of Jonnie Irwin's points came from my mum – she didn't know who he was, but when I told her, she said "oh, I like A Place in the Sun. He can live".

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I have a feeling Bruce Willis will be the killer in this year's competition.

 

Hope so anyway (with all due respect to Bruce, whose acting I love) as I didn't pick him!

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And so it begins. Well only for one person…

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On 23/01/2024 at 18:08, machotrouts said:

As usual, I'm posting this on behalf of a valued Inverse Dead Pool regular – it's the 2024 machotrouts' mum team:

 

10. Jonnie Irwin

 

Mum's made a hash of it.

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Yep I had him at #7.. I saw a recent interview he had done, and yes he looked thin and gaunt , but seemed to have energy, could stand, voice seemed powerful and good.  So I thought he might pull through the year, or at the least be a hit much later in the year.

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I was so sure I'd got him in here, but he was an unused sub.  Phew!

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Dave Myers is my first hit of the year here.

 

A low ingredient in my team, like baking soda.

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Dave Myers makes me 3 updates behind – been too busy to update this month (with another game I've been running on another forum! Infidelity!) but I'll sort it out soon.

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One of those names I know I have without even checking. I went for most of these "new" cancer names that didn't stick in my mind.

 

EDIT: Checked. #23. I'll take it.

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Before I get on with the actual updates, I've got one more stats post for you. First of all, here's the average points per team each celebrity received:

 

1 Joe Biden 21.70
2 Donald Trump 20.54
3 Michael J. Fox 18.72
4 Andy Taylor 17.40
5 Billy Connolly 15.81
6 Clint Eastwood 15.75
7 William Shatner 15.44
8 Ozzy Osbourne 15.32
9 Buzz Aldrin 14.05
10 Janey Godley 13.91
11 Phil Collins 13.07
12 Bruce Willis 12.40
13 Dick van Dyke 11.77
14 Robert Wagner 10.47
15 Prunella Scales 9.37
16 Pope Francis 9.19
16 Rupert Murdoch 9.19
18 David Attenborough 8.19
19 Willie Nelson 7.93
20 Mel Brooks 7.32
21 Tim Bilton 6.60
22 Toby Keith 6.05
23 Yoko Ono 4.51
24 Dave Myers 4.09
25 Erik Jensen 3.86
26 Shannen Doherty 3.53
27 Linda Nolan 3.21
28 Paul Spencer 2.58
29 Cleo Laine 2.47
30 Denis Law 2.12
31 Bob Newhart 1.96
32 Dennis Skinner 1.93
33 Patrick Murray 1.77
34 Roberta Flack 1.58
35 Eva Marie Saint 1.44
36 Theo Burrell 1.35
37 Stanley Baxter 1.23
38 Frank Caprio 1.19
38 Frank Field 0.77
40 June Spencer 0.70
41 Esther Rantzen 0.68
42 James Whale 0.65
43 Michael Tilson Thomas 0.63
44 Rob Burrow 0.61
45 Joanne Woodward 0.51
46 Nigel Starmer-Smith 0.49
47 (Wildlife) Simon Cowell 0.47
48 Jonnie Irwin 0.28
49 Noam Chomsky 0.14
50 Jimmy Carter 0.02
51 Steve McMichael 0.00

 

Using these numbers, I've calculated all of your most outlying opinions.

 

In the table below is an alphabetical list of Inverse Dead Pool 2024 players. Next to each player, there are two celebrities, each with two numbers in brackets – the first number is the number of points the player has assigned that celebrity, and the second number is the gap between that number and the celebrity's average points value.

 

The celebrity on the left is the celebrity whose points from that player are farthest ABOVE the celebrity's average points value (i.e. the celebrity whose survival that player is most disproportionately invested in). The celebrity on the right is the celebrity whose points (or lack thereof) from that player are farthest BELOW the celebrity's average points value (i.e. the celebrity whose death would probably be most beneficial to that player).

 

This player... Is relatively confident in... And relatively wary of...
An Fear Beag Yoko Ono (13, +8.49) Buzz Aldrin (3, -11.05)
Annami Cleo Laine (19, +16.53) William Shatner (0, -15.44)
arghton Bruce Willis (22, +9.6) Dick van Dyke (4, -7.77)
Bentrovato Nigel Starmer-Smith (21, +20.51) Joe Biden (0, -21.7)
Bibliogryphon Robert Wagner (23, +12.53) Ozzy Osbourne (6, -9.32)
Book Robert Wagner (20, +9.53) David Attenborough (0, -8.19)
BuffaloPhil Dave Myers (18, +13.91) Bruce Willis (0, -12.4)
Captain Hemlock Bruce Willis (22, +9.6) Dick van Dyke (0, -11.77)
CaptainChorizo Buzz Aldrin (24, +9.95) Dick van Dyke (0, -11.77)
CastAway Mel Brooks (21, +13.68) Billy Connolly (5, -10.81)
chilean way Pope Francis (25, +15.81) Janey Godley (0, -13.91)
Clorox Bleachman Prunella Scales (22, +12.63) Phil Collins (6, -7.07)
deadsox Tim Bilton (20, +13.4) Phil Collins (0, -13.07)
Death Impends Phil Collins (21, +7.93) Willie Nelson (0, -7.93)
diego Frank Caprio (20, +18.81) Andy Taylor (0, -17.4)
En Passant Toby Keith (19, +12.95) Dick van Dyke (1, -10.77)
Famous6Eva Erik Jensen (23, +19.14) Phil Collins (0, -13.07)
Funeralopolis Phil Collins (22, +8.93) Janey Godley (4, -9.91)
gcreptile Erik Jensen (24, +20.14) Michael J. Fox (0, -18.72)
Great Uncle Bulgaria Yoko Ono (16, +11.49) Dick van Dyke (0, -11.77)
Grimgrass Robert Wagner (17, +6.53) Rupert Murdoch (3, -6.19)
GuyFromFuture Tim Bilton (23, +16.4) Ozzy Osbourne (1, -14.32)
Hell Pope Francis (23, +13.81) Janey Godley (0, -13.91)
JoeMoneypenny Tim Bilton (22, +15.4) Donald Trump (2, -18.54)
Joltin Joe Linda Nolan (14, +10.79) Janey Godley (0, -13.91)
ladyfiona Yoko Ono (17, +12.49) Buzz Aldrin (0, -14.05)
Lafaucheuse Frank Caprio (12, +10.81) Willie Nelson (0, -7.93)
livingbygrace Willie Nelson (22, +14.07) Janey Godley (1, -12.91)
LizLemon Phil Collins (21, +7.93) Buzz Aldrin (5, -9.05)
machotrouts Erik Jensen (14, +10.14) Willie Nelson (0, -7.93)
machotrouts' mum Dennis Skinner (25, +23.07) Donald Trump (0, -20.54)
MalePoster Paul Spencer (20, +17.42) Ozzy Osbourne (0, -15.32)
MariNisia Erik Jensen (21, +17.14) Clint Eastwood (0, -15.75)
maryportfuncity Dave Myers (23, +18.91) Donald Trump (8, -12.54)
max_bossetti Linda Nolan (20, +16.79) Robert Wagner (0, -10.47)
MortalCaso Toby Keith (19, +12.95) Dick van Dyke (0, -11.77)
msc Shannen Doherty (17, +13.47) Joe Biden (0, -21.7)
Newjack Phil Collins (23, +9.93) Mel Brooks (0, -7.32)
Nick Ozzy Osbourne (22, +6.68) David Attenborough (0, -8.19)
Pedro67 Denis Law (16, +13.88) Bruce Willis (0, -12.4)
Perhaps Shannen Doherty (12, +8.47) Pope Francis (0, -9.19)
Sideik Toby Keith (18, +11.95) Dick van Dyke (0, -11.77)
Sleepiestpeep Toby Keith (20, +13.95) Robert Wagner (0, -10.47)
Spade_Cooley Tim Bilton (18, +11.4) Billy Connolly (0, -15.81)
Summer in Transylvania Ozzy Osbourne (25, +9.68) Bruce Willis (7, -5.4)
Thatcher Paul Spencer (19, +16.42) Janey Godley (0, -13.91)
The Immortal Dennis Skinner (12, +10.07) Janey Godley (0, -13.91)
The Old Crem Tim Bilton (16, +9.4) Phil Collins (0, -13.07)
The Unknown Man Dave Myers (21, +16.91) Janey Godley (0, -13.91)
theoldlady June Spencer (18, +17.3) Joe Biden (0, -21.7)
Toast Dennis Skinner (9, +7.07) Rupert Murdoch (0, -9.19)
Torva Messor Rupert Murdoch (25, +15.81) Donald Trump (0, -20.54)
TQR Janey Godley (24, +10.09) Bruce Willis (4, -8.4)
tracy Linda Nolan (23, +19.79) William Shatner (4, -11.44)
wannamaker Rupert Murdoch (16, +6.81) Toby Keith (0, -6.05)
YorkshireBanker Theo Burrell (17, +15.65) Donald Trump (5, -15.54)
YoungWillz Pope Francis (23, +13.81) Donald Trump (0, -20.54)
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Don’t think those vote of confidences for Toby Keith and Dave Meyers helped them out too well huh…

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14 hours ago, Joey Russ said:

Don’t think those vote of confidences for Toby Keith and Dave Meyers helped them out too well huh…

 

Yep, I've fucked it already :facepalm:

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Outstanding stats there @machotrouts, great work!

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On 28/03/2024 at 03:46, Joey Russ said:

Don’t think those vote of confidences for Toby Keith and Dave Meyers helped them out too well huh…

I'm clearly great at this, idk what you mean

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Lost Property

 

Jonnie Irwin, known for hosting real estate shows such as A Place in the Sun and Escape to the Country, has fallen off the property ladder at the age of 50.

 

A presenter of various lifestyle shows before life ceased to be his style, he became home to a tumour in 2020. Originally consigned to A Place in the Lung, the cancer ultimately decided to expand its portfolio and move abroad to other organs.

 

Did anyone actually pick him? Well...

 

On 26/01/2024 at 10:12, machotrouts said:

...and all 16 of Jonnie Irwin's points came from my mum – she didn't know who he was, but when I told her, she said "oh, I like A Place in the Sun. He can live".

 

This is an Ir-win for 56 of you, but an Ir-loss for my mother, who gains 16 points. Obviously a huge upset for our top seed.

 

      GAINED TOTAL
= 1. CaptainChorizo   0
= 1. livingbygrace   0
= 1. TQR   0
= 1. YorkshireBanker   0
= 1. Death Impends   0
= 1. Funeralopolis   0
= 1. Bibliogryphon   0
= 1. Grimgrass   0
= 1. msc   0
= 1. Captain Hemlock   0
= 1. wannamaker   0
= 1. BuffaloPhil   0
= 1. Thatcher   0
= 1. arghton   0
= 1. chilean way   0
= 1. gcreptile   0
= 1. Spade_Cooley   0
= 1. Nick   0
= 1. Famous6Eva   0
= 1. Summer in Transylvania   0
= 1. MalePoster   0
= 1. The Immortal   0
= 1. YoungWillz   0
= 1. Hell   0
= 1. The Unknown Man   0
= 1. Perhaps   0
= 1. LizLemon   0
= 1. Toast   0
= 1. Newjack   0
= 1. deadsox   0
= 1. Torva Messor   0
= 1. JoeMoneypenny   0
= 1. Book   0
= 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria   0
= 1. Bentrovato   0
= 1. The Old Crem   0
= 1. Annami   0
= 1. MariNisia   0
= 1. Sleepiestpeep   0
= 1. theoldlady   0
= 1. En Passant   0
= 1. max_bossetti   0
= 1. diego   0
= 1. Pedro67   0
= 1. GuyFromFuture   0
= 1. Sideik   0
= 1. machotrouts   0
= 1. Clorox Bleachman   0
= 1. MortalCaso   0
= 1. An Fear Beag   0
= 1. ladyfiona   0
= 1. tracy   0
= 1. maryportfuncity   0
= 1. Joltin Joe   0
= 1. CastAway   0
= 1. Lafaucheuse   0
57. machotrouts' mum +16 16
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Grave is the Best Receptacle

 

American country star Toby Keith, known for hits such as "American Soldier", "American Ride", "Made in America", "Drunk Americans", "Happy Birthday America", "America the Beautiful", "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)", and "Live Introduction by Toby of Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)", has died of Americancer at the age of America.

 

An Inverse Dead Pool 2024 debutante, he was a natural fit among some familiar faces, including Donald Trump, for whom he performed at the "Make America Great Again! Welcome Celebration"; Willie Nelson, with whom he recorded the song "Beer for My Horses" and starred in the film "Beer for My Horses"; and Janey Godley, with whom he feuded during her spell in the Dixie Chicks.

 

So who shouldn't've picked a cowboy? Players were almost evenly split between Toby or Not Toby – a divide in attitudes between "well, he's still performing" and "yeah, but looking like that". Among those on the losing side of that divide are 2023 Inverse Dead Pool champion @tracy, who gains 9 points – which, sadly, is 8 more than their 2023 winning score – and returning 2022 Inverse Dead Pool champion @YorkshireBanker, who gains 19 points – which, happily, is 8 less than their 2022 winning score.

 

In fact, all of last year's top 5 have points raining down on them: @LizLemon (6 points), @Perhaps (3), @diego (17), and @gcreptile, who gets the biggest boot in the ass of all – 23 points, and my mum's last place spot. You ain't as good as you once was.
 

      GAINED TOTAL
= 1. TQR   0
= 1. Death Impends   0
= 1. Bibliogryphon   0
= 1. Grimgrass   0
= 1. Captain Hemlock   0
= 1. wannamaker   0
= 1. BuffaloPhil   0
= 1. arghton   0
= 1. chilean way   0
= 1. Spade_Cooley   0
= 1. Nick   0
= 1. The Immortal   0
= 1. YoungWillz   0
= 1. The Unknown Man   0
= 1. Toast   0
= 1. Newjack   0
= 1. deadsox   0
= 1. JoeMoneypenny   0
= 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria   0
= 1. Bentrovato   0
= 1. The Old Crem   0
= 1. MariNisia   0
= 1. Pedro67   0
= 1. machotrouts   0
= 1. Clorox Bleachman   0
= 1. An Fear Beag   0
= 1. ladyfiona   0
= 1. maryportfuncity   0
= 1. Lafaucheuse   0
30. Summer in Transylvania +1 1
30. Hell +1 1
32. Perhaps +3 3
33. theoldlady +5 5
34. LizLemon +6 6
34. CastAway +6 6
36. Funeralopolis +7 7
37. Book +8 8
38. Annami +9 9
38. tracy +9 9
40. Joltin Joe +11 11
41. msc +12 12
42. CaptainChorizo +13 13
42. Famous6Eva +13 13
42. Torva Messor +13 13
45. machotrouts' mum   16
46. max_bossetti +17 17
46. diego +17 17
48. GuyFromFuture +18 18
48. Sideik +18 18
50. livingbygrace +19 19
50. YorkshireBanker +19 19
50. MalePoster +19 19
50. En Passant +19 19
50. MortalCaso +19 19
55. Thatcher +20 20
55. Sleepiestpeep +20 20
57. gcreptile +23 23
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Time for a brief enjoyment of a joint-leading position before you hit me with the Myers update...

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Grave Pyres

 

Celebrity chef Dave Myers has died of cancer at the age of 66. Best known as half of the "Hairy Bikers" – for Americans on the forum, that's basically the British version of Sons of Anarchy – along with Si King, he presented 37 different shows over 20 years; 34 of which had "Hairy" in the title, and 31 "Bikers".

 

Non-fans of food/hair/cancer may also remember him for his lovably hapless run on series 11 of Strictly Come Dancing. Despite lasting several weeks in the contest, he remains Karen Hauer's worst-scoring partner, with an average score of 18.3 – narrowly followed by fellow celebrity chef Simon Rimmer on 18.5. Myers also has the honour of being the 1st member of the series 11 cast to die – narrowly followed by Tony Jacklin (2025, lymphoma), Sophie Ellis-Bextor (2026, murdered on the dancefloor), and Rachel Riley (2027, IDF friendly fire incident).

 

It looks like 27 Inverse Dead Pool players saw him in those Knorr ads, thought "well, he's not dead there", and put him on their teams.

 

One player who put too much stock in him is @maryportfuncity, who earns 23 points – the same total that Dave and Karen got for their highest-scoring Strictly dance, a waltz to 'Take It to the Limit' by the Eagles. Also taking it to the limit is @The Unknown Man, who gets 21 points – perhaps he didn't know which man he was picking?

 

Things are also looking hairy for two 18-pointers: @BuffaloPhil (as seen dreading this update above), and my mother, whose tactic of allocating points on the basis of "aw, he seems nice" sees her back in the running for last place, with a total of 34 points. However, between this and Toby Keith, former 3rd-placer @diego is badly led astray by his apparent faith in celebrities being well enough to keep doing their jobs: 19 points on Myers takes him to a total of 36.

 

      GAINED TOTAL
= 1. TQR   0
= 1. Grimgrass   0
= 1. Captain Hemlock   0
= 1. wannamaker   0
= 1. arghton   0
= 1. chilean way   0
= 1. Spade_Cooley   0
= 1. The Immortal   0
= 1. Toast   0
= 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria   0
= 1. The Old Crem   0
= 1. MariNisia   0
= 1. Pedro67   0
= 1. machotrouts   0
= 1. Clorox Bleachman   0
= 1. ladyfiona   0
17. deadsox +1 1
17. Summer in Transylvania   1
17. Hell   1
20. Nick +2 2
21. Death Impends +3 3
22. Bibliogryphon +4 4
23. An Fear Beag +5 5
23. Perhaps +2 5
23. theoldlady   5
26. Lafaucheuse +6 6
27. Newjack +7 7
27. CastAway +1 7
27. Funeralopolis   7
30. YoungWillz +8 8
30. Book   8
32. Annami   9
33. tracy +1 10
34. Joltin Joe   11
35. JoeMoneypenny +12 12
36. CaptainChorizo   13
36. Famous6Eva   13
36. Torva Messor   13
39. Bentrovato +14 14
39. LizLemon +8 14
41. BuffaloPhil +18 18
41. GuyFromFuture   18
43. livingbygrace   19
43. YorkshireBanker   19
43. MalePoster   19
46. The Unknown Man +21 21
47. Sleepiestpeep +2 22
48. maryportfuncity +23 23
48. Thatcher +3 23
48. gcreptile   23
51. MortalCaso +6 25
52. msc +16 28
52. En Passant +9 28
54. Sideik +11 29
55. max_bossetti +13 30
56. machotrouts' mum +18 34
57. diego +19 36
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