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Lord Fellatio Nelson

DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

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After 33 days on a rig, Sir Creep got off a boat, got in his car and drove 15 miles or so and rolled his F150 and ended up in a ditch.

Broken 8th (L5) and 11th anterior ribs. Otherwise still on THIS side of the DL postings, tyvm. Don't break a rib, word to the wise. Looks like I am out 6-8 weeks.

SirC

Hope you recover quickly Mr. Creepy. Try public transport next time.

FTFY :D

Public transportation doesn't work for American who buy trucks. Try bringing home a deer, bear or moose on a bus.

Oh I don't know, there are some *Americans* that are considerably fatter larger than a deer, bear or moose and they fit on busses there, right? :D

* Applies to the British too.

* Hi

Seeing as it's the anterior ribs I broke, I've been updated that in fact I've broken my BACK in two places.

Also, this happened in a remote area of southern Louisiana, so a discussion of public transportation rather misplaced this time, though I agree with the sentiment

SC

 

Don't worry I'll get Deathray for that remark, he thinks he's coming over right now for "Football Manager and chill" but his head's going straight down the toilet

 

BTW, does this mean your posts for the next 6-8 weeks could be considered spinal pap?

 

 

Let me think 2-3 months, was it a sectioning or I wonder what else?

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Currently sitting in a bar with a beer and had no sleep as I was doing an essay on philosophy all last night!ISafe to say Habermas is getting picked for one of my pools next year! I am guessing I have failed!Also I got in touch with a girl I used to fancy like hell at School and she is visiting me Saturday!So basically the world seems very strange at the moment!And to top it all off Donald Trump may be the next president of America.Safe to.say the lines of reality and fantasy are very blurred right now for me!

This board seems to attract people with woman problems like flies to shit, doesn't it?

 

My mum's a psycho bitch queen from Hades who made my first 20 years on this planet about as productive as asking a footballer to read a book, Shaun of the Dead's ex-girlfriend is a Fatal Attraction-type stalker, Maryport's the only DJ in the entire country with a wife his own age, Lard has blood coming out of her wherever......

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Guest Droosy

this sucks! Sir Creep was my joker! ------ No, in fact, I´m glad Sir Creep survived that horrific accident, I hope you didn´t see the light and become more positive as some traffic-accident survivors do, cuz we need the good old negative Creep in here

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Currently sitting in a bar with a beer and had no sleep as I was doing an essay on philosophy all last night!ISafe to say Habermas is getting picked for one of my pools next year! I am guessing I have failed!Also I got in touch with a girl I used to fancy like hell at School and she is visiting me Saturday!So basically the world seems very strange at the moment!And to top it all off Donald Trump may be the next president of America.Safe to.say the lines of reality and fantasy are very blurred right now for me!

 

This board seems to attract people with woman problems like flies to shit, doesn't it?

 

My mum's a psycho bitch queen from Hades who made my first 20 years on this planet about as productive as asking a footballer to read a book, Shaun of the Dead's ex-girlfriend is a Fatal Attraction-type stalker, Maryport's the only DJ in the entire country with a wife his own age, Lard has blood coming out of her wherever......

 

 

He's out on bail, and out of jail

 

And that's the way it goes, raaaumph!

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Currently sitting in a bar with a beer and had no sleep as I was doing an essay on philosophy all last night!ISafe to say Habermas is getting picked for one of my pools next year! I am guessing I have failed!Also I got in touch with a girl I used to fancy like hell at School and she is visiting me Saturday!So basically the world seems very strange at the moment!And to top it all off Donald Trump may be the next president of America.Safe to.say the lines of reality and fantasy are very blurred right now for me!

This board seems to attract people with woman problems like flies to shit, doesn't it?

 

My mum's a psycho bitch queen from Hades who made my first 20 years on this planet about as productive as asking a footballer to read a book, Shaun of the Dead's ex-girlfriend is a Fatal Attraction-type stalker, Maryport's the only DJ in the entire country with a wife his own age, Lard has blood coming out of her wherever......

 

 

I always assumed Lard was a bit old to have blood coming out her wherever..

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Depends what your doing with the wherever young fella ;)

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Currently sitting in a bar with a beer and had no sleep as I was doing an essay on philosophy all last night!ISafe to say Habermas is getting picked for one of my pools next year! I am guessing I have failed!Also I got in touch with a girl I used to fancy like hell at School and she is visiting me Saturday!So basically the world seems very strange at the moment!And to top it all off Donald Trump may be the next president of America.Safe to.say the lines of reality and fantasy are very blurred right now for me!

This board seems to attract people with woman problems like flies to shit, doesn't it?

 

My mum's a psycho bitch queen from Hades who made my first 20 years on this planet about as productive as asking a footballer to read a book, Shaun of the Dead's ex-girlfriend is a Fatal Attraction-type stalker, Maryport's the only DJ in the entire country with a wife his own age, Lard has blood coming out of her wherever......

I always assumed Lard was a bit old to have blood coming out her wherever..

Cheeky cunt!

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Hope the recovery is quick Sir C and that there is someone there to look after you.

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Currently sitting in a bar with a beer and had no sleep as I was doing an essay on philosophy all last night!ISafe to say Habermas is getting picked for one of my pools next year! I am guessing I have failed!Also I got in touch with a girl I used to fancy like hell at School and she is visiting me Saturday!So basically the world seems very strange at the moment!And to top it all off Donald Trump may be the next president of America.Safe to.say the lines of reality and fantasy are very blurred right now for me!

This board seems to attract people with woman problems like flies to shit, doesn't it?

 

My mum's a psycho bitch queen from Hades who made my first 20 years on this planet about as productive as asking a footballer to read a book, Shaun of the Dead's ex-girlfriend is a Fatal Attraction-type stalker, Maryport's the only DJ in the entire country with a wife his own age, Lard has blood coming out of her wherever......

 

 

He's out on bail, and out of jail

 

And that's the way it goes, raaaumph!

 

I'm guessing from charon's obsession with jail, that means the speccy-four-eyed cunt has been himself....

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I have a feeling a major death will be announced tomorrow or Monday.

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I have a feeling a major death will be announced tomorrow or Monday.

 

But I don't want any of the former members of St Winifred's School Choir to die....

 

(Only kidding - Clive James is good for me).

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I have a feeling a major death will be announced tomorrow or Monday.

 

It does feel (but I've not looked it up to actually check) like there's a big name celeb death announced soon after WrestleMania ends each year, the next morning or whatever. Of course, in 2014, Mickey Rooney's death was actually announced by the press while WrestleMania was on going: perhaps the Undertaker losing was just too much for him.

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I have a feeling a major death will be announced tomorrow or Monday.

don't worry I'm sure you'll get it right the 59th time.
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I have a feeling a major death will be announced tomorrow or Monday.

Were you previously known as notaguest, Dave or Iain around these parts a few years ago?

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I have a feeling a major death will be announced tomorrow or Monday.

Stop saying that! Celebrities are purposely avoiding death just so you're incorrect.

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I need to buy my brother a Get Well Soon "How did you get pneumonia when you're only like 31 you fucking gimp?" card.

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I have a feeling a major death will be announced tomorrow or Monday.

Were you previously known as notaguest, Dave or Iain around these parts a few years ago?

 

I know for a fact that's not him

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I need to buy my brother a Get Well Soon "How did you get pneumonia when you're only like 31 you fucking gimp?" card.

 

:sherlock:

 

Would he obit??

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I have a feeling a major death will be announced tomorrow or Monday.

You should be banned a week every time you post this and it doesn't happen. That would nip this shit in the bud.

SC

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I have a feeling a major death will be announced tomorrow or Monday.

So who was it? Bulgarian footballer Georgi Hristakiev? :rolleyes:

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Yesterday I went to the funeral of my Dad's partner. She had been in a home for four years suffering with dementia. It was a bit strange only about 12 people went but still dignified.

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One of my work colleagues copped off with a woman he met in his local pub last night.

After spending the night with her, they went their separate ways (as ya do) and while he was tidying his bed up this morning, he found a (golf-ball sized) soggy red onion under his duvet. He swears there was no onion the day before as he doesn't eat raw onions & hadn't bought any for months.

 

Well, no prizes for guessing where that had been.... :puke:

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One of my work colleagues copped off with a woman he met in his local pub last night.

After spending the night with her, they went their separate ways (as ya do) and while he was tidying his bed up this morning, he found a (golf-ball sized) soggy red onion under his duvet. He swears there was no onion the day before as he doesn't eat raw onions & hadn't bought any for months.

 

Well, no prizes for guessing where that had been.... :puke:

Just.....why?

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One of my work colleagues copped off with a woman he met in his local pub last night.

After spending the night with her, they went their separate ways (as ya do) and while he was tidying his bed up this morning, he found a (golf-ball sized) soggy red onion under his duvet. He swears there was no onion the day before as he doesn't eat raw onions & hadn't bought any for months.

 

Well, no prizes for guessing where that had been.... :puke:

Just.....why?

 

As a bloke I really can't answer that one personally. Maybe she ran out of tampons ?!?

 

I don't ideally wish to add 'oniony vagina' to my Google browser history as Mrs Taters will be asking awkward questions on the morrow.

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