DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

[Cat O'Falk 3,287]

I'm sure we had a facebook thread already but this is the next best place.

 

Anyone else sick of these instant games already, never turned notifications of for as many chats at once.

It's here:

https://forums.deathlist.net/topic/6579-facebook/

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,134]

I am currently in bed in my FABULOUS Hotel room eating milk chocolate raisins with a crunchie bar sitting to the side of me awaiting its turn.

It cannot get much more exciting.

[charon 4,938]

Get a blender from the kitchen, put the raisins & crunchie in it, add half bottle of vodka & a pint of fresh orange.

Insert straw, preferably into the 'drink', and rock out the Monday night.

[rockhopper penguin 2,264]

I am currently in bed in my FABULOUS Hotel room eating milk chocolate raisins with a crunchie bar sitting to the side of me awaiting its turn.

It cannot get much more exciting.

Have you still not done the Museum of Computing? They had that Graham Seaman from Radio Wiltshire there the other day (I think his show is called Seaman on the radio).

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,134]

 

I am currently in bed in my FABULOUS Hotel room eating milk chocolate raisins with a crunchie bar sitting to the side of me awaiting its turn.

It cannot get much more exciting.

Have you still not done the Museum of Computing? They had that Graham Seaman from Radio Wiltshire there the other day (I think his show is called Seaman on the radio).

 

Well Im learning daytimes and in the evening Im stuck on top of junction 16 on the M4, I can see the f ucking motorway out of my window.

Besides 'Seaman on the radio' sounds a bit perverted even for me....

[rockhopper penguin 2,264]

 

 

I am currently in bed in my FABULOUS Hotel room eating milk chocolate raisins with a crunchie bar sitting to the side of me awaiting its turn.

It cannot get much more exciting.

Have you still not done the Museum of Computing? They had that Graham Seaman from Radio Wiltshire there the other day (I think his show is called Seaman on the radio).

 

Well Im learning daytimes and in the evening Im stuck on top of junction 16 on the M4, I can see the f ucking motorway out of my window.

Besides 'Seaman on the radio' sounds a bit perverted even for me....

 

Swindon West and Royal Wooton Bassett?Ah, M4 services hold a special place in my rectum. I remember as young chick being stranded at Gordano next to skeletons with extend thumbs. Does anyone hitchhike anymore?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,134]

 

 

 

I am currently in bed in my FABULOUS Hotel room eating milk chocolate raisins with a crunchie bar sitting to the side of me awaiting its turn.

It cannot get much more exciting.

Have you still not done the Museum of Computing? They had that Graham Seaman from Radio Wiltshire there the other day (I think his show is called Seaman on the radio).

 

Well Im learning daytimes and in the evening Im stuck on top of junction 16 on the M4, I can see the f ucking motorway out of my window.

Besides 'Seaman on the radio' sounds a bit perverted even for me....

 

Swindon West and Royal Wooton Bassett?Ah, M4 services hold a special place in my rectum. I remember as young chick being stranded at Gordano next to skeletons with extend thumbs. Does anyone hitchhike anymore?

 

Not since Lorry drivers became successful serial killers.

[Deathray 2,933]

I think it depends where you live, in the countryside it's fairly safe to hitch-hike these days.

 

Wouldn't do it in city-centres though.

[YoungWillz 19,106]

Our water's off.

 

OldWillz and me tripped down to Tesco for bottles of water.

 

Hopefully we'll be attached to the main again before too long. I have some laundry outstanding.

[rockhopper penguin 2,264]

Our water's off.

 

OldWillz and me tripped down to Tesco for bottles of water.

 

Hopefully we'll be attached to the main again before too long. I have some laundry outstanding.

Try inside out. Should give you two more days at least.

[YoungWillz 19,106]

 

Our water's off.

 

OldWillz and me tripped down to Tesco for bottles of water.

 

Hopefully we'll be attached to the main again before too long. I have some laundry outstanding.

Try inside out. Should give you two more days at least.

 

 

Ha! Presuming I'm heterosexual there, Penguers!

[Cat O'Falk 3,287]

Then there's back-to-front followed by inside-out again.

[rockhopper penguin 2,264]

 

 

Our water's off.

 

OldWillz and me tripped down to Tesco for bottles of water.

 

Hopefully we'll be attached to the main again before too long. I have some laundry outstanding.

Try inside out. Should give you two more days at least.

 

 

Ha! Presuming I'm heterosexual there, Penguers!

 

Er, no.

[Paul Bearer 5,688]

Our water's off.

 

OldWillz and me tripped down to Tesco for bottles of water.

 

Hopefully we'll be attached to the main again before too long. I have some laundry outstanding.

Do you live near me? The water board have closed our street until February while they are digging new sewers.

[charon 4,938]

Our water's off.

 

OldWillz and me tripped down to Tesco for bottles of water.

 

Hopefully we'll be attached to the main again before too long. I have some laundry outstanding.

 

Aye, the easy availability of LSD these days.

 

I never went down to Tescos with anything stronger than an Embassy tipped.

[YoungWillz 19,106]

South Glasgow, Paul.

 

That said, I'll be checking the flow shortly.

 

Ooh, Matron!

[Paul Bearer 5,688]

South Glasgow, Paul.

 

That said, I'll be checking the flow shortly.

 

Ooh, Matron!

Used to live in EK many years ago.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,134]

So, this FABULOUS hotel....

They seem to have a run of '....sorry you cant have that meal, we are out of *********' etc

Yesterday it was burgers.

Today I asked 'Have you got burgers back on the menu?

The receptionist AKA Bela Lugosi replied 'No'

'I will have a steak then..' said me.

I eventually get my steak and proceed to watch a waitress deliver a big fuck off burger to an adjacent table.

'I was told you didn't have burgers!!

'Oh, yes we do' said the waitress.

Cunts.

[Joey Russ 7,119]

My youngest brother found the truth about a Christmas secret that I didn't find out till I was 12...

[charon 4,938]

 

Haven't spoken to anybody since I finished work on Friday , but my neighbour just told me about a suicide in the village to the North of me on Friday evening.

 

Lassie went to the petrol station and took the flammable way out.

 

First thought was "fuc king hell, that's grim".

 

Second thought was " did she pay for the petrol?"

 

No idea if I knew her etc, I just really have a need to know about the payment.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,134]

Toilet rolls.

I don't think they have ever really changed in my lifetime.

Look at the sheet sizes, fucking tiny, barely the length of an average hand!

The human arse has got bigger over the generations but shit paper has remained the same, tiny sheets perforated only a matter of inches apart.

They need to move with the times.

[Youwanticewiththat 610]

Don't you have a man to wipe it for you LFN?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,134]

Don't you have a man to wipe it for you LFN?

The only hand that is allowed anywhere near my arse is my own.

[Toast 14,850]

Toilet rolls.

I don't think they have ever really changed in my lifetime.

Look at the sheet sizes, effing tiny, barely the length of an average hand!

The human arse has got bigger over the generations but shit paper has remained the same, tiny sheets perforated only a matter of inches apart.

They need to move with the times.

 

I disagree. Toilet rolls have definitely got smaller, and the paper is thinner too. They think they can fool us by diverting our attention to the number of shits sheets per roll, which stays the same. But the actual amount of paper we are getting is a lot less. I used to be quite happy with good supermarket brands eg Sainsburys Supersoft, but the quality has deteriorated so much recently that I now only buy Andrex. And they have got smaller too. Andrex is now only as good as the Sainsburys Supersoft used to be before it, well, went down the pan.

[rockhopper penguin 2,264]

 

Toilet rolls.

I don't think they have ever really changed in my lifetime.

Look at the sheet sizes, effing tiny, barely the length of an average hand!

The human arse has got bigger over the generations but shit paper has remained the same, tiny sheets perforated only a matter of inches apart.

They need to move with the times.

 

I disagree. Toilet rolls have definitely got smaller, and the paper is thinner too. They think they can fool us by diverting our attention to the number of shits sheets per roll, which stays the same. But the actual amount of paper we are getting is a lot less. I used to be quite happy with good supermarket brands eg Sainsburys Supersoft, but the quality has deteriorated so much recently that I now only buy Andrex. And they have got smaller too. Andrex is now only as good as the Sainsburys Supersoft used to be before it, well, went down the pan.

 

It was said that 380 trees would be cut down to make all toilet paper a person needs in their lifetime. Maybe now it's a small shrubbery.