deadsox 894 Posted November 27, 2016 What's Helen Keller's favourite colour for clothes? Corduroy Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand? So she could sing with the other. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Predictor 1,018 Posted November 30, 2016 Some Dr. Zorders jokes... Q: Why should Dr. Zorders be allowed to return to DeathList? A: Because everybody deserves a 65358th chance. Q: Why did Dr. Zorders decide to move to Greenland? A: Because the real estate market is really cheap over there, because there is only one Halibut living there and because when he gets angry and tells someone to kill themself, there's a chance they'll actually listen to his "advice". Q: Why does Dr. Zorders never buy measuring sticks made in Havana? A: Because he hates Cuban rulers. Dr. Zorders, if you happen to read this, remember that it's just for fun. Q: Why did Dr. Zorders refuse to buy Apple's new app that contains guides for good death pool picks? A: Because it was called iSlam Form Guide Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,102 Posted December 13, 2016 A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang. So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said “OK take off all your crose.” The woman did as she was told. “Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.” Again the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said “OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.” So she did. Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, “Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.” Worried the woman asked anxiously, “Oh my goodness Dr. Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease?” Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, “Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your arse 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Mad Hatter 1,092 Posted December 13, 2016 https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1qu2a7/ed_zachary_disease/theif Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,102 Posted December 13, 2016 https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1qu2a7/ed_zachary_disease/theif I prefer the phrase Plagerist. And it It was sent to me by a friend. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted December 13, 2016 Why did Dr Zorders stop posting? A/ he was banned. Hasn't stopped him.....now that's funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted December 13, 2016 Why did Dr Zorders stop posting? A/ he was banned. Hasn't stopped him.....now that's funny. Who is he now then? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat O'Falk 3,290 Posted December 26, 2016 There are only 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey Russ 7,228 Posted December 26, 2016 Whats David Camerons favorite Christmas song? All I Want For Christmas is EU. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drol 11,954 Posted December 26, 2016 There are only 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't. There are three types of people in this world; those who can count and those who can not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,647 Posted December 26, 2016 What did Syrians have before candles? Lightbulbs How many Syrians does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but she's a chambermaid in London What's the most useless thing in Aleppo? An after dinner mint. I've had a pleasant and compassionate Christmas, obviously 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YoungWillz 21,054 Posted December 26, 2016 What did Syrians have before candles? Lightbulbs How many Syrians does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but she's a chambermaid in London What's the most useless thing in Aleppo? An after dinner mint. I've had a pleasant and compassionate Christmas, obviously Ah, you'll have had a delivery of Christmas Crackers from Russia, obvs.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey Russ 7,228 Posted January 3, 2017 Breaking news... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
En Passant 3,741 Posted January 15, 2017 Carrie Fisher runs into George Michael in the afterlife...She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing". 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RadGuy 1,614 Posted January 16, 2017 Martin Luther King Jr. is trending, please don't tell me he died - I'm too scared to look. Edit: Oh, nevermind, it's only his birthday. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,940 Posted January 16, 2017 A family are sat having a breakfast meal with their two daughters. There elder daughter, Mary starts drinking a couple of vodkas. The wife turns to the father and says "You really need to talk to Mary about her alcohol problem." The husband sits down calmly "Come on Mary, we're going down the pub for a chat about how alcohol isn't the answer to all your problems." 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,647 Posted January 20, 2017 Ripped from a FB friend - but it made me laugh: Remembering that time, 8 years ago, when they let the Celebrity Big Brother house see Obama's inauguration, and Coolio was moved to tears. Can you imagine that today? Watching Celebrity Big Brother? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deadsox 894 Posted January 21, 2017 Ripped from a FB friend - but it made me laugh: Remembering that time, 8 years ago, when they let the Celebrity Big Brother house see Obama's inauguration, and Coolio was moved to tears. Can you imagine that today? Watching Celebrity Big Brother? Can't imagine it today. Couldn't imagine it then. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey Russ 7,228 Posted January 21, 2017 Diana Rots winning the DDP. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,647 Posted January 23, 2017 hank god I went to a psychicShe told me someone wasGoing to swindle me out ofSome money best £100 quidI've ever spent 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chopped Liver 53 Posted January 23, 2017 hank god I went to a psychic She told me someone was Going to swindle me out of Some money best £100 quid I've ever spent I'm not sure I wanna know what to 'hank' someone means. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,647 Posted January 24, 2017 hank god I went to a psychic She told me someone was Going to swindle me out of Some money best £100 quid I've ever spent I'm not sure I wanna know what to 'hank' someone means. Aye, my bad - clearly lost a letter when I ripped it from FB Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,647 Posted February 2, 2017 A female midget goes into the Doctors and says "Doctor, I've got a really sore fanny." The Doctor takes a look and gets out a huge pair of scissors. The midget panics and shouts "Doctor! what are you going to do with those scissors"? The Doctor says "Don't worry, I'm only going to cut a couple of inches off your welly tops". 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Imelda 621 Posted February 2, 2017 What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Don't know and don't care 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey Russ 7,228 Posted February 17, 2017 Some dude asked "did you mother smoke crack?" My response- "Just because yours did doesn't mean everyone's did" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
