Tempus Fugit 214 Posted January 20, 2016 Toasters, why in this age of incredible scientific innovation does it appear impossible to find a toaster that evenly toasts a piece of bread. I've tried numerous different toasters, but I've yet to find one that gives a nice even browning of the bread, you either get completely burnt, completely underdone, or burnt in parts & underdone on the rest of the slice. Only when this problem is solved can we truly claim to be living in a golden age. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RandomCanadian 105 Posted January 21, 2016 My laptop needed service today. It was only supposed to take 20 minutes so I made my way over to IT with a book to read while I waited. The IT guys and I started talking cars. It turned out we all owned Volkswagens (GTI, cc and two Tiguans). Service took longer than 20 minutes to fix the laptop problem but I had a great time. The head of VW UK has stated that UK owners will get no compo in regards to the Diesel emissions scandal. My car is actually affected as its got a VW Diesel engine, not that I give a shit TBH but, once again, the Yanks will get a windfall in compo and Europe will get fuck all. Wankers. Diesel isn't common in my neck of the woods. I asked my sales-guy about it (I bought my Tiguan in June) and he advised against diesel as it was more for drivers with a long commute. Mine is relatively short at 25 minutes. I did get an apology letter from the dealership owner after the scandal broke even though I don't have a diesel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted January 21, 2016 Toasters, why in this age of incredible scientific innovation does it appear impossible to find a toaster that evenly toasts a piece of bread. I've tried numerous different toasters, but I've yet to find one that gives a nice even browning of the bread, you either get completely burnt, completely underdone, or burnt in parts & underdone on the rest of the slice. Only when this problem is solved can we truly claim to be living in a golden age. Sold a toaster to magnus Magnusson about 20 years ago. He didn't know what the cancel button was for. Stuff toasters, buy a toasting fork and do it over the fire. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,070 Posted January 21, 2016 Toasters, why in this age of incredible scientific innovation does it appear impossible to find a toaster that evenly toasts a piece of bread. I've tried numerous different toasters, but I've yet to find one that gives a nice even browning of the bread, you either get completely burnt, completely underdone, or burnt in parts & underdone on the rest of the slice. Only when this problem is solved can we truly claim to be living in a golden age. Sold a toaster to magnus Magnusson about 20 years ago. He didn't know what the cancel button was for. Stuff toasters, buy a toasting fork and do it over the fire. While we are on the subject, I bought (and get by pretty well) a cheap two slice beuaty which promptly sets off my fire alarm located 15' away. I bitched on FB about this and a handyman cousin of mine informed me that there are special 'kitchen' fire alarms that eliminate detecting the ions the toaster puts out. So special in fact that instead of $6 they are $30 or summat. So 7 years later I still waive a broom at my fire alarm whilst making a slice of toast. So up yours, toaster makers, and a two-finger salute to fire alarm makers as well! SC Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Italo Barberio Posted January 21, 2016 Oh no.... A stone is due... Hopefully a past Stone..... There I said ut Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,140 Posted January 21, 2016 Toasters, why in this age of incredible scientific innovation does it appear impossible to find a toaster that evenly toasts a piece of bread. I've tried numerous different toasters, but I've yet to find one that gives a nice even browning of the bread, you either get completely burnt, completely underdone, or burnt in parts & underdone on the rest of the slice. Only when this problem is solved can we truly claim to be living in a golden age. Sold a toaster to magnus Magnusson about 20 years ago.He didn't know what the cancel button was for. Stuff toasters, buy a toasting fork and do it over the fire. While we are on the subject, I bought (and get by pretty well) a cheap two slice beuaty which promptly sets off my fire alarm located 15' away. I bitched on FB about this and a handyman cousin of mine informed me that there are special 'kitchen' fire alarms that eliminate detecting the ions the toaster puts out. So special in fact that instead of $6 they are $30 or summat. So 7 years later I still waive a broom at my fire alarm whilst making a slice of toast.So up yours, toaster makers, and a two-finger salute to fire alarm makers as well! SC I have to take the batteries out of my kitchen smoke alarm when cooking certain things too. The blasted thing carries on shrieking even when I press the reset button. It is not intelligent enough to understand that that means "it's OK, I'm just searing a steak, everything is under control". So that fucker can go into Room 101 as well. As for toast I prefer to use the grill. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Magere Hein 1,400 Posted January 21, 2016 I don't like toast much, but I love toasters. A nerd friend of mine had one with a microcontroler it used for timing. We hacked it. Now we could set the operation time to the second. That didn't improve the toast, though, Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
En Passant 3,741 Posted January 21, 2016 If you don't like toast, isn't it a tiny bit optimistic to expect "new improved timed to the second toast" to massively alter your opinion? Personally I love the stuff, can't get enough of it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted January 21, 2016 Toasters, why in this age of incredible scientific innovation does it appear impossible to find a toaster that evenly toasts a piece of bread. I've tried numerous different toasters, but I've yet to find one that gives a nice even browning of the bread, you either get completely burnt, completely underdone, or burnt in parts & underdone on the rest of the slice. Only when this problem is solved can we truly claim to be living in a golden age. Sold a toaster to magnus Magnusson about 20 years ago. He didn't know what the cancel button was for. Stuff toasters, buy a toasting fork and do it over the fire. Did you not tell him 'Its started so it will finish? 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted January 21, 2016 No, it was the back of nine on a Saturday morning, I was still half cut so the hangover had still to kick in. I did manage 'pass' though, and it earned a withering look 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,606 Posted January 21, 2016 I managed to smoke-log my apartment once by grilling instead of roasting my pork steaks. The smoke alarm was wired into the mains, so removing batteries wasn't an option. I silenced it by tieing a plastic bag around it. (If you do this, I take no responsibility if you forget to remove it when you've finished cooking though.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted January 21, 2016 I only found out recently that the number on a toast dial is how many minutes it will toast for. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted January 21, 2016 Some of the dials used to go to '10' so good luck wae that... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YoungWillz 21,050 Posted January 21, 2016 My dad has a Russell Hobbs big chrome toaster. Even browning of bread even with two different thicknesses of slice. Highly recommended. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RandomCanadian 105 Posted January 22, 2016 My dad has a Russell Hobbs big chrome toaster. Even browning of bread even with two different thicknesses of slice. Highly recommended. I don't have the toaster, but I have a Russel Hobbs kettle. I've had it for 25 years. I still remember the look on the wasband's face when I picked the kettle over the food processor. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,140 Posted January 22, 2016 I've got a Smeg toaster (RRP £100). I won it in a competition. It's still in the box. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,528 Posted January 22, 2016 eBay that shit man. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted January 22, 2016 I've got a Smeg toaster (RRP £100). I won it in a competition. It's still in the box. How can anybody buy something that shares the same name ( slang) for a mans cock cheese??????? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,140 Posted January 22, 2016 eBay that shit man. Nah, they take too much commission, and you have to pay Paypal as well. I might give it to somebody as a wedding present or something. I've got a Smeg toaster (RRP £100). I won it in a competition. It's still in the box. How can anybody buy something that shares the same name ( slang) for a mans cock cheese??????? This is one of the great mysteries of modern life. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted January 22, 2016 eBay that shit man. Nah, they take too much commission, and you have to pay Paypal as well. I might give it to somebody as a wedding present or something. I've got a Smeg toaster (RRP £100). I won it in a competition. It's still in the box. How can anybody buy something that shares the same name ( slang) for a mans cock cheese??????? This is one of the great mysteries of modern life. Unravel it Toastie, unravel it!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,140 Posted January 22, 2016 It's Italian. Who knew? Smeg is an Italian manufacturer of upmarket domestic appliances. Vittorio Bertazzoni founded the company in 1948 in the village of Guastalla, Reggio Emilia, Italy. The name is an acronym for Smalterie Metallurgiche Emiliane Guastalla ("Emilian metallurgical enamel works of Guastalla"). But the ever-helpful Wikipedia has even more for us: Smeg may refer to: Smegma, a substance that collects inside the genitals Smeg (vulgarism), a fictional profanity used in the TV cult space sitcom Red Dwarf Smeg (appliances), an Italian appliance company Smeg Virus Construction Kit, a computer virus construction kit SMEG (menu editor), a menu editor for the GNOME desktop SMEG, abbreviation for the Shanghai Media & Entertainment Group conglomerate in China SMEG, acronym of the Small-to-Medium-sized Enterprise Guarantee Facility, to be carried out by the European Investment Fund (EIF) for the purpose of stimulating debt financing SMEG, acronym for Social Media Expert or Guru 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
En Passant 3,741 Posted January 22, 2016 He's a smeeeeg heeeeead! Ah well that's my favourite use of it anyway. Wonder if toastie the toaster was a smeg.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom 2,533 Posted January 22, 2016 He's a smeeeeg heeeeead! Ah well that's my favourite use of it anyway. Wonder if toastie the toaster was a smeg.... Toastie was a Crapola https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRq_SAuQDec 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
