Death In The Family

[Deathray 2,940]

.........and while Im here....

Ok, its a thread about reporting a death in your family BUT it does seem that, at times, some of the reporting is a tad, shall we say, bollocks?

Exactly how far removed from our immediate family do we go before we don't consider its really appropriate to post?

What next? ' My Aunts friends, sisters, uncles best mates cousins father in laws grandmas third best friend died in 1962 but ive only just heard about it...'

Its DL, we are a bit skewed, a bit odd at times and off beat, the thread seems at odds with that.

I will never post in this thread about the death of anybody remotely connected to me or otherwise but each to their own.

I am, however, finding the false commiserations and ' a million condolences to be a tad 'cosmetic' when its effing obvious that people are replying out of sheer politeness and don't really give a f**k as opposed to feeling ones pain or summat.

TF was, indeed, blunt but he has a sharp point.

Personally, the effing thread is abhorrent and needs to be fucked off to Siberia.

EDIT: Further more, its utterly inexcusable for this swear filter to have not been fixed by now, totally inexcusable.

I kind of get your point. I respect your opinion. Articulating it like that is one thing - to turn round and go who cares is different. The question of how close you could actually be to someone if they died a while ago and you didn't know did cross my mind but it's hardly the time to ask it. That doesn't means it not going to hurt when they do go - especially if you used to be close and drifted apart.

 

I personally hope I wouldn't feel the need to post in here for support if somebody in my family died but I respect that those who do just want a bit of support. Deep down they probably know most of the condolences are simply being polite but it might make them feel a bit happier. As I said above this is the only thread on DL where I think nout nice to say just close the thread actually needs to be upheld. If we starting try to judge the importance of someone's family members death like we do with celebrities and call posters out on it I think we undermine the entire point of this thread as an antidote to the cavalier attitude to death elsewhere on the site and a virtual shoulder to cry on that is needed in some of the instances.

 

Just my two pennies on the matter.

[msc 18,450]

Ah don't take it so seriously. Chap lost a relative, clearly cares enough to tell this forum of loonies, folk pass on their empathy/sympathy/politeness/whatever the fuck you want to call it.

 

Shaun might be a serial killer in real life, but the little I know of him on here he seems like a cool enough guy, so, yeah, I'm sorry his uncle died. I've a great aunt I'm very close to, so I can well imagine it in those terms, even without the evidence.

[Toast 16,140]

I don't take the 'family' bit literally, I just assumed it's for mentioning the death of anyone close to you and/or yours. If you want to mention it. For any reason.

 

It's not up to anyone else to dictate how close a relative they have to be to qualify; after all you can be fonder of, let's say, a second cousin than of a sibling.

[Joey Russ 7,227]

I haven't had a lot of close deaths in my life time. However, one that definitely changed me forever was the death of a teacher that I was a close friend to. He died one year ago today.

[Youwanticewiththat 611]

Sorry for your loss Joey.

[Sean 6,327]

Not a family member per say but my families beloved golden lurcher died this morning aged approximately 12 or 13 (she was a stray so no one is entirely sure of her age).She had been having problems with her blood for a few months now but had a scan today which revealed several tumors throughout her digestive tract.She also had a massive tumor pressing on her spleen which would have burst within a day or two. Also her eyesight was found to be failing likely due to a secondary brain tumour.Went back to uni a couple of days ago so was not there at the end which is making me feel bad.Weird how much of an impact a dog makes on your life.We had her for nearly ten years and she was always at our side through good and bad times.Feeling sombre tonight.Will be on the booze in an hour or so.Days like this require a large drink or two.

[Deathray 2,940]

So in the past too pages we've had a teacher (which as heartbreaking as it isn't really a death of a close family member) and a dog. I seem to remember this discussion cropping up in the past, but I don't feel these are appropriate for this thread.

[Toast 16,140]

A dog is absolutely a family member.

 

I am so sorry, Shaun.

[Joey Russ 7,227]

So in the past too pages we've had a teacher (which as heartbreaking as it isn't really a death of a close family member) and a dog. I seem to remember this discussion cropping up in the past, but I don't feel these are appropriate for this thread.

 

To be fair, there isn't really another page to post a death like that, so I stuck it here.

 

Also, condolences for you Shaun.

[The Mad Hatter 1,092]

Not a family member per say but my families beloved golden lurcher died this morning aged approximately 12 or 13 (she was a stray so no one is entirely sure of her age).She had been having problems with her blood for a few months now but had a scan today which revealed several tumors throughout her digestive tract.She also had a massive tumor pressing on her spleen which would have burst within a day or two. Also her eyesight was found to be failing likely due to a secondary brain tumour.Went back to uni a couple of days ago so was not there at the end which is making me feel bad.Weird how much of an impact a dog makes on your life.We had her for nearly ten years and she was always at our side through good and bad times.Feeling sombre tonight.Will be on the booze in an hour or so.Days like this require a large drink or two.

so SAS thankfully she is in a better place.

[Youwanticewiththat 611]

So sorry to hear of your sad loss Shaun - definitely raise a glass, or three.

[Caisson 37]

A dog is absolutely a family member.

 

I am so sorry, Shaun.

That's no fun, makes sex a big no-no doesn't it?

[charon 4,943]

 

A dog is absolutely a family member.

 

I am so sorry, Shaun.

 

That's no fun, makes sex a big no-no doesn't it?

Saw you were last poster, *clicked* fully expecting

my darling mother sadly passed away tomorrow, after accidentally dropping a plugged in toaster into her bath. What's she like!

 

And Shaun.

[Death Impends 7,975]

Pets are dear parts of the family, indeed. So sorry to hear of your loss, Shaun.

[drol 11,946]

Condolences.

[WednesdayAddams 103]

Not a family member per say but my families beloved golden lurcher died this morning aged approximately 12 or 13 (she was a stray so no one is entirely sure of her age).She had been having problems with her blood for a few months now but had a scan today which revealed several tumors throughout her digestive tract.She also had a massive tumor pressing on her spleen which would have burst within a day or two. Also her eyesight was found to be failing likely due to a secondary brain tumour.Went back to uni a couple of days ago so was not there at the end which is making me feel bad.Weird how much of an impact a dog makes on your life.We had her for nearly ten years and she was always at our side through good and bad times.Feeling sombre tonight.Will be on the booze in an hour or so.Days like this require a large drink or two.

 

So sorry to hear about your loss. If you feel the need, the PDSA runs a counselling service for people who have lost a pet. They are highly skilled and trained. I can find more details if you wish to PM me. Losing a pet is perhaps one of the hardest of family life. While of course not comparable to losing a human family member, the pain still hurts. Some people will not understand. Sadly I do know how it feels. Take care xx

[Sean 6,327]

 

Not a family member per say but my families beloved golden lurcher died this morning aged approximately 12 or 13 (she was a stray so no one is entirely sure of her age).She had been having problems with her blood for a few months now but had a scan today which revealed several tumors throughout her digestive tract.She also had a massive tumor pressing on her spleen which would have burst within a day or two. Also her eyesight was found to be failing likely due to a secondary brain tumour.Went back to uni a couple of days ago so was not there at the end which is making me feel bad.Weird how much of an impact a dog makes on your life.We had her for nearly ten years and she was always at our side through good and bad times.Feeling sombre tonight.Will be on the booze in an hour or so.Days like this require a large drink or two.

 

So sorry to hear about your loss. If you feel the need, the PDSA runs a counselling service for people who have lost a pet. They are highly skilled and trained. I can find more details if you wish to PM me. Losing a pet is perhaps one of the hardest of family life. While of course not comparable to losing a human family member, the pain still hurts. Some people will not understand. Sadly I do know how it feels. Take care xx

 

Thank you for your support.I think I will be ok in a few days.It is weird I have buried 3 grandparents two old school friends and numerous aunts and uncles as well as a dozen neighbors and family friends yet this loss has still hit me hard.

[rockhopper penguin 2,265]

 

 

Not a family member per say but my families beloved golden lurcher died this morning aged approximately 12 or 13 (she was a stray so no one is entirely sure of her age).She had been having problems with her blood for a few months now but had a scan today which revealed several tumors throughout her digestive tract.She also had a massive tumor pressing on her spleen which would have burst within a day or two. Also her eyesight was found to be failing likely due to a secondary brain tumour.Went back to uni a couple of days ago so was not there at the end which is making me feel bad.Weird how much of an impact a dog makes on your life.We had her for nearly ten years and she was always at our side through good and bad times.Feeling sombre tonight.Will be on the booze in an hour or so.Days like this require a large drink or two.

 

So sorry to hear about your loss. If you feel the need, the PDSA runs a counselling service for people who have lost a pet. They are highly skilled and trained. I can find more details if you wish to PM me. Losing a pet is perhaps one of the hardest of family life. While of course not comparable to losing a human family member, the pain still hurts. Some people will not understand. Sadly I do know how it feels. Take care xx

 

Thank you for your support.I think I will be ok in a few days.It is weird I have buried 3 grandparents two old school friends and numerous aunts and uncles as well as a dozen neighbors and family friends yet this loss has still hit me hard.

 

Loss of a close companion, an ever present in your life, can be much harder to come to terms with.

[gcreptile 10,972]

My condolences

[msc 18,450]

I've never had a dog, or a cat, or anything like that (I did have a giant terrapin which bit everyone and was an antisocial git though, that was awesome) but I know how folk get with their pets, and am sorry for your loss.

 

I also know folk who get on far, far better with their pets than they ever did their mums, dads, siblings, you name it (actually, I think all of our former pet hamsters were smarter than most of my inlaws, to tell the truth), so not for me to judge who folk consider a strong enough link to, to post in here, imo.

[Sir Creep 7,070]

Losing a pet thts been around that long is terrible. Condolences, Shaun.

SC

[theoldlady 2,301]

Sorry for the loss of your pet.

[Sir Creep 7,070]

As you know my mother passed away almost two years ago to the day, and similarly suffered from Alzheimer's the last 5 years or so. She never had the total forgetfulness but was more prone to panic attacks so I would field my share of 3am phone calls and tell her it would be ok from 1200 miles away.

So I'm so terribly sorry you have had to go through that horrible disease that strips away the ones we love and who we know love us if only they could. Magere, please accept my meager condolences and may you always have the fondest of memories of your mum.

SirC

[Deathray 2,940]

As you know my mother passed away almost two years ago to the day, and similarly suffered from Alzheimer's the last 5 years or so. She never had the total forgetfulness but was more prone to panic attacks so I would field my share of 3am phone calls and tell her it would be ok from 1200 miles away.

So I'm so terribly sorry you have had to go through that horrible disease that strips away the ones we love and who we know love us if only they could. Magere, please accept my meager condolences and may you always have the fondest of memories of your mum.

SirC

 

Seems odd to wait over ten years to offer condolences to someone?

[Toast 16,140]

 

As you know my mother passed away almost two years ago to the day, and similarly suffered from Alzheimer's the last 5 years or so. She never had the total forgetfulness but was more prone to panic attacks so I would field my share of 3am phone calls and tell her it would be ok from 1200 miles away.

So I'm so terribly sorry you have had to go through that horrible disease that strips away the ones we love and who we know love us if only they could. Magere, please accept my meager condolences and may you always have the fondest of memories of your mum.

SirC

 

Seems odd to wait over ten years to offer condolences to someone?

 

 

Guessing here, but have you accidentally changed the post display to show most recent at the top?