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John and Mary are waiting at the bus stop with their six children. They hear a sound tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap... and from around the corner appears an old man with a walking stick. He takes his place in the bus queue. The bus arrives, and Mary gets on with the six kids. As John is about to board, the driver stops him. “Sorry, mate. Only room for seven inside.” “When's the next bus for the town centre then?” asks John. The driver is helpful. “Not for half an hour, but if you go up the road and take the first left into the High Street, the Number 8 bus is due there in five minutes and that goes to the town centre by a different route.” The bus departs, and John and the old man start walking. tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap... (you can keep this up as long as you want) John is irritated. He says to the old man, “Can't you put a bit of rubber on the end of that thing?” The old man replies, “If you'd put a bit of rubber on the end of your thing, we'd all have got on the fucking bus.”

I think nearly everyone would of chosen her as who would be the last cast member alive, not who would die next.

She is not worried, it is still worth more than a PhD from London Met.

Natural causes just covers anything that isn't murder suicide or related to an accident.

Paedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

Olympic ice dance champions Scott Moir & Tessa Virtue will be skating to a Tragically Hip song as a tribute to Gord at the gala event tomorrow.

I think Peacock will go this year

Never heard of this show, was Desmond Tutu in it?

Why are you being so racist?

Try this thread.

That's not what I would call "natural causes".

Henny Youngman would not have to bear his wife anymore after this day 20 years ago, aged 91.

Natural causes at 53?

Seriously, the prognosis for prostate cancer is not that bad at all. 84% of patients survive 10 years from diagnosis. http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/health-professional/cancer-statistics/statistics-by-cancer-type/prostate-cancer/survival No way he's on the list.

Fourth Leaderboard 2018: (*=Joker) 1st: drol - 195 Points [7/25] (Elias; Zarin; Cryne; Alcock; Miller; Tsvangirai; Nevin) 2nd: msc - 177 Points [6/25] (*Elias; Cryne; Alcock; Stokes; Miller; Nevin) 3rd: The Unknown Man - 157 Points [5/25] (Elias; Cryne; Miller; Tsvangirai; Graham) 4th: the_engineer - 127 Points [4/25] (Falkholt; Sawyer; Miller; Graham) 5th: Phantom of the Midway - 119 Points [3/25] (Smith; Tsvangirai; Fabray) 6th: Joey Russ - 102 Points [3/25] (Smith; Olivera; Graham) 7th: Death Impends - 92 Points [3/25] (Killen; Kit; Graham) 8th: Grim Up North - 90 Points [4/25] (Elias; Cryne; Alcock; Miller) 9th: NiceGuyEddie - 87 Points [3/25] (Cryne; Olivera; Miller) 10th: Wormfarmer - 70 Points [2/25] (Sawyer; Nevin) 11th: Whoaml - 69 Points [2/25] (Malone; Graham) 12th: Captain Chorizo - 63 Points [4/25] (Monson; Elias; Alcock; Kit) 13th: FujimoriNoMorey - 59 Points [2/25] (Cryne; Miller) =14th: Bibliogryphon - 58 Points [1/25] (*Hauxwell) =14th: Sir Creep - 58 Points [3/25] (Elias; Falkholt; Miller) 16th: Fixed Business - 52 Points [2/25] (Monson; Graham) =17th: John Key - 51 Points [1/25] (Graham) =17th: mr whit - 51 Points [1/25] (Graham) =17th: Prophet - 51 Points [1/25] (Graham) =17th: Sean - 51 Points [1/25] (Graham) =17th: Widows Peak - 51 Points [1/25] (Graham) 22nd: Toast - 42 Points [2/25] (Elias; Miller) 23rd: gcreptile: 41 Points [2/25] (Manikan; Olivera) 24th: Grigori: 31 Points [1/25] (Kit) =25th: Book - 21 Points [1/25] (Le Guin) =25th: The Dead Cow - 21 Points [1/25] (Sawyer) 27th: Torva Messor - 3 Points [1/25] (Elias) =28th: Deathray - 0 Points [0/25] =28th: Pedro67 - 0 Points [0/25] =28th: YoungWillz - 0 Points [0/25]

There's a pub in Brighton (The Lion and Lobster I think?) that is well known locally for its celebrity death prediction contest: put a pound in the pot and if you predict the next death you win the entire kitty. I have never entered it because I just know I'd end up in an argument over what counts as a "celebrity" with the barman, and possibly glassed.

I had noticed this. Was going to change it to "Reality TV star best known for his appearance in the second Home Alone movie".

All his life waiting for the second coming but on deathlist he is the second going

Journeyman Bulgarian defender Georgi Markov dead at 46, via a heart attack not umbrella poisoning. He scored Bulgaria's goal in the 1-1 draw with England in a 1999 European Championship qualifier.

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?” “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.” “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy"

Yaaay for Iceland. Party in Power putting up a Bill ( not Government backed tho) to ban male genital mutilation apart for medical reasons. Managed to unite the Jews and the 'h' word fish, all 34 of them, so that's how to sort out the Middle East then....

The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I wanted to masturbate in the cup. I told her that I know I am good at it, but I don't think I am ready to compete just yet.

I swear to God they are actually driving Dilip Kumar's corpse around in a car and pretending he's alive.

Those who deadpool are: 1) introverts - in spades 2) cat people - cats, dogs, chinchillas, horses, rabbits, snakes... 3) intelligent - I am a fucking genius. 4) like using the internet - yes 5) self-proclaimed geeks - they pay me to be a geek. 6) have OCD, or are at least are somewhat perfectionist - no OCD, but I am a 50% perfectionist 7) non-religious - atheist 8) like lists - yup 9) interested in politics - until this year, yes. 10) interested in music and Hollywood, especially old-time music and Hollywood - couldn't care less about Hollywood, but I am a trained singer.