Room 101

[msc 18,438]

 

Kids!

 

Well, not all kids. Specific kids. Specifically, the kids who decided to set the flat above us on fire last week. *snip* The smoke was apparently effing toxic...

 

Meth lab?

 

 

Sadly not. Rubbish bag left outside flat.

[The Mad Hatter 1,092]

Kids!

 

Well, not all kids. Specific kids. Specifically, the kids who decided to set the flat above us on fire last week. Long story short, I work from home (pays low but I get to spend time with the wean) which as just as well, as last Friday morning I could suddenly smell smoke. Went to check the front door - it's a close, there's usually someone burning toast - only to be face to face with a wall of smoke. I grabbed the wean, and darted outside, while the wife called 999. I then went back into try and get the neighbours (we've got newborns in the close) and got bloody smoke inhalation, but luckily the Polish lass with the newborn heard me and got out OK, and our neighbour on the top floor was actually trapped by the fire/smoke inhalation and the firemen had to save her. The smoke was apparently effing toxic, so if I hadn't noticed something was up - wife was in, but she's got no sense of smell - her and the wean, not to mention the upstairs neighbour, would have been fucked. Scary to think about, really.

 

Anyhow, I avoided getting chucked in the hospital to be monitored for "smoke inhalation" and our internet has now been fixed after the fire melted the effing cables.

 

Everyone - us, the wean, the other weans, and the neighbours dog - are all fine. But still, effing kids.

I fucking hate kids as well vile creatures.

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

The British media just blindly copying and pasting American stuff without checking to see if it’s relevant in the U.K.!

The British press are saying that there’s a black moon in the UK today; NO THERE ISN’T!

The mainland US had a new moon on 1st September and again today, thereby making today’s a black moon. However, because of the time difference between the US and the UK those same two new moons are on 1st September and the early hours of 1st October.

The UK gets a black moon on 30th October; I bet that won’t be published on either side of the pond.

https://www.timeanddate.com/moon/phases/usa/new-york

https://www.timeanddate.com/moon/phases/uk/london

[rockhopper penguin 2,265]

 

The British media just blindly copying and pasting American stuff without checking to see if it’s relevant in the U.K.!

The British press are saying that there’s a black moon in the UK today; NO THERE ISN’T!

The mainland US had a new moon on 1st September and again today, thereby making today’s a black moon. However, because of the time difference between the US and the UK those same two new moons are on 1st September and the early hours of 1st October.

The UK gets a black moon on 30th October; I bet that won’t be published on either side of the pond.

https://www.timeanddate.com/moon/phases/usa/new-york

https://www.timeanddate.com/moon/phases/uk/london

 

It's great to see such passion for a subject in one so young

[Deathray 2,940]

The expresses seasonal forest into nonsense casting has arrived. 4 months of snow!

 

One day they'll get it right.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/uk-weather-britain-faces-four-8950147

[CarolAnn 926]

 

The British media just blindly copying and pasting American stuff without checking to see if it’s relevant in the U.K.!

The British press are saying that there’s a black moon in the UK today; NO THERE ISN’T!

The mainland US had a new moon on 1st September and again today, thereby making today’s a black moon. However, because of the time difference between the US and the UK those same two new moons are on 1st September and the early hours of 1st October.

The UK gets a black moon on 30th October; I bet that won’t be published on either side of the pond.

https://www.timeanddate.com/moon/phases/usa/new-york

https://www.timeanddate.com/moon/phases/uk/london

 

 

Looks like a damn moon to me. Going back inside.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Emotions.

My daughter wanted a cat, I was told 'it would make her happy' ( didn't work, she is still a miserable c**t at times..) so I reluctantly agreed.

She came home with TWO of the f***ers, both female and they have fucked the house over good and proper.

She is actually moving out in the next couple of weeks and will be taking them with her, except at the moment one of them is missing, the shy and nervy one.

This will be the second night she has been AWOL and, honestly, im gutted.

See, this is why I didn't want effing cats or dogs or any other pet that can actually feel and think ( in a way a hamster cant ) you become emotionally attached to them.

Ive shouted at them for shitting in the hall, ruining the carpet, farting, you name it.

Ive also cuddled them, talked to them and fed them zillions of 'chewy sticks' that they love.

If she doesn't come back it will break my heart. Fact.

[Toast 16,132]

Judging by my local community Arsebook pages, cats are always going missing and almost all of them turn up safe and sound. So take heart. I hope yours does too.

I suppose you've asked everyone to check sheds etc, in case she's got shut in somewhere?

[Deathray 2,940]

How long have you had the cats? You should always keep them inside for a week or two so they learn where there food is at, as that's what'll drive them home.

 

Also crazy cat ladies live in on every estate and will entice your cats into their home for company and claim no knowledge of whose they belong too which is bullshit, that happened to one of ours (and most of the rest of the streets) a few times.

[Toast 16,132]

Also crazy cat ladies live in on every estate and will entice your cats into their home for company and claim no knowledge of whose they belong too which is bullshit, that happened to one of ours (and most of the rest of the streets) a few times.

 

LFN is a Lord. Lords live on a different kind of estate.

[Deathray 2,940]

 

 

Also crazy cat ladies live in on every estate and will entice your cats into their home for company and claim no knowledge of whose they belong too which is bullshit, that happened to one of ours (and most of the rest of the streets) a few times.

LFN is a Lord. Lords live on a different kind of estate.

To be honest Fellatio Nelson sounds very much like the person who would live next door to crazy cat ladies and have suspicious amount of lone male visitors on the kind of estate I had in mind...... (the one who could be a drug dealer or a male escort you're not sure)

[Death Impends 7,963]

My family dealt with the anxiety of a potential missing cat about 8 years back. Very much a false alarm, thankfully. She was new to the house at the time and very skittish then, and still is now, and when we couldn't find her indoors (our cats are exclusively indoor cats), we saw a similar-looking cat outside (at a distance and during evening hours, so not the clearest view...) and assumed the worst, only for our cat to pop up from wherever she was hiding two-three hours later. Very much a relief though those few hours when we thought she ran away were nervewracking at the time.

 

Not a very exciting anecdote admittedly, it sounds like an episode of a cheesy 60's sitcom.

 

Here's hoping your daughter's cat turns out safe and sound, LFN.

[YoungWillz 21,033]

I'm sure no cat-aclysmic cat-astrophe or cat-alogue of disaster has befallen your pussy.

 

Some kindly Persian will no doubt spot the pet and notify you accordingly.

 

(Best puns I can do at this hour).

[CarolAnn 926]

No! No missing kitties! Is no bueno.

[Paul Bearer 6,101]

Ours went missing one night. Found him in the car. The little shit jumped into Mrs bearers car when she wasn't looking and locked him in.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

I keep leaving sacks filled with bricks around the garden, ready for that trip down to the River Biss, the furry, pissy little shitting carpet-ruining bastards aren't playing my game though.

[Bibliogryphon 9,571]

We have had big changes on the cat front. Two of our older ones died within a fortnight of each other so we have just got a beautiful new kitten. The remaining older cat accepted her without a problem but the other one (just under 2yo) is cross and keeps going AWOL for up to 36 hours at a time. Rain and hunger bring her back though.

[msc 18,438]

I've never been a big fan of cats. (Domestic ones that is, tigers and that are cool.) However, when one of our friends had a cat, I tended to find the cat would come into the room, and everyone else would be "here, kitty". There I'd be not paying it much attention, when suddenly it would ignore all the other people in the room and come over to try and get my attention. Cats, so I'm told, seem to prefer antisocial people to adorers, which would explain why the things always make a beeline for me!

 

Pet's are cool, though. I used to own a giant terrapin, long dead now of course, a rescue pet which wasn't meant to live "much longer" and wound up with us for thirteen years. It was antisocial, bullied other pets, bit everyone, would go on elongated huffs with everyone, and would chase people away when it got out on the floor for a bit. It was awesome.

[Youwanticewiththat 611]

I love cats (esp Mr Falk ofc). I had a Norwegian Forest Cat that would come on walks with the dogs and play fetch etc - I still sob wretchedly that he died too young. There'll be log jams on the Rainbow Bridge when my time comes.

 

It's the 4th anniversary of my father's funeral today and I miss him more than ever.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

Silly laws which play into the hands of jobsworth officials.

 

For example, the non-smoking, self-employed man who has been fined £200 for not displaying a no-smoking sign in his own van, to remind himself not to smoke, even though he never has.

 

http://www.kentonline.co.uk/canterbury/news/thats-200-gone-up-in-116381/

[Tempus Fugit 214]

[Deathray 2,940]

The thing is if it wasn't for his son being part of his business he'd have a got away with it, self-employed people by virtue of the fact they can smoke in their own vehicles don't need one.

[Toast 16,132]

 

 

 

Oh no you don't.

[Toast 16,132]

 

 

 

Oh no you don't.

 

Three days now, three fuc-king days of my life wasted waiting for these cretins to deliver a parcel.

 

Every message I've sent through their deceptively efficient-looking website was answered with "We are pleased to confirm that your case has now been closed." Cu-nts.

 

Watch out for their invisible vans with invisible drivers who allegedly come to your correctly given address and postcode and "cannot locate the address".

Twice, allegedly.

While you and your neighbour (who was also expecting a delivery but luckily for him, not from UKMail) are looking out of the windows.

Driver is either a liar or a moron.

 

I am now going to have to drive to their fuc-king depot, wasting even more of my time, and petrol as well. They better produce the parcel.

Bastards.

[charon 4,943]

Silly laws which play into the hands of jobsworth officials.

For example, the non-smoking, self-employed man who has been fined £200 for not displaying a no-smoking sign in his own van, to remind himself not to smoke, even though he never has.

http://www.kentonline.co.uk/canterbury/news/thats-200-gone-up-in-116381/

My favourite over the last few years was the care home told to remove their fire extinguishers, for safety.

 

Reason was it would encourage people to stay and fight a fire. Devon iirc.

 

I smoke all the time in company vehicles. Its a perk

 

Oooh, did notice a new notice on our telescopic forks yesterday as it was extending out 30 feet over a raging sea with me on the forks to drop me on a barge. You can only see it from standing on the forks , and it says it isn't allowed , Lolzers .