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MMMDP Form Guide #80 Jair Bolsonaro For all the love of being seen in action and the jet black hair this Covid-baiting nut-job is already 65 and has been flouting the advice on staying healthy in the hope of looking like the fearless man of the people his spin doctors say he is. Long shot for sure given the impending start of our dead pool - eight days away as this post hits the screen. But, who knows...

Not famous for anyone except me, but my grandmother is turning 100 today. I’ve waited so long to finally say it ! welcome to the 100 club mamie !

When a friend was a student nurse, she had a patient who was a neighbour of Bernard Cribbins - the old chap had no other friends or family but Bernard visited him regularly. When the patient died, Bernard sent the nurses a hamper to thank them for their care, but not of chocolates or flowers but of useful things that student nurses of the 1970s needed like tea bags, toiletries and tights. What a jolly good egg.

NOT DEAD, DON'T WORRY As none of us watch The One Show on taste reasons, I missed that our Bernard made an increasingly rare TV appearance a few months back to give his reading of a true crime tale. Given his health has allegedly been on the wane, his increasing age and the fact that hes starting to show his age (did the portrait in the attic get damaged?), sharing it here as who knows how much new Bernard Cribbins stuff we've got left...

Yes, it was! Toys were always stamped that, cheap shit by the truckload!

Blimey! I had no idea you had that one in you!!!!

Ramzan Kadyrov who ordered the mass murder of gays in Chechnya hospitalised with coronavirus.

Australian boxing legend Hector Thompson dies at 70

Unnecessary. You just need to change the batteries.

So you're only going to accept the first 20 posts after 9am on 31st may is that correct MPFC? Will have to set my bloody alarm for this

Christ, I just saw your profile name! In Essex we used to call Gay men 'Benders' which, obviously, was not really the thing to say. Were there Gay Daleks then?

The Child Support Agency are really bored. They just sent me a text saying they are are operating a limited service in the wake of the global pandemic. You've been doing that for decades you utter fucking useless roasters.

It usually is which makes his's MIA status weird as I have year of death, place of death and his other names and nowt comes up. I'm wondering if its something to do with being a sudden death in hospital in the 80s. Also, some other records are completely gone. My great-grandfather's christening stuff, school records, pretty much everything between birth and his marriage, got lost. Why? Because they were in the Gorbals and when the council had that street demolished in the late 70s... they forgot to remove the paperwork from the building first.

Yeah, but... You've clocked the complete lyrics of Wiggle Wiggle above, right?

You would have thought, given her eternal gratitude, that she would have been on the blower to him to say 'Don't do it Ronnie, I will take care of all the costs, I will even dig the fucking grave out myself! Fucking tight bastards, the Royals.

Are you trying to get us to buy new glasses?

Nah, I'm done for metaphors after Spade's "2019 deaths = tomato ketchup precum" one earlier this year. And yeah, given the way the dominoes are placed, 2020 feels like a big year in waiting...

Sounds like he had a wiggle fetish, and had to make it rhyme. Then he took it from there.

Bob Dylan died on 24th April 2008 according to Apple's virtual assistant, Siri. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7483419/Apple-bug-causes-Siri-say-Bob-Dylan-DIED-11-years-ago-age-66-hes-alive.html

So when he goes we can say the Queen is dead

He isn't. There's a certain irony, mind. The mainstay of the never-ending tour turning down a gig. He has until June to give a lecture. Maybe he'll do it at one of his concerts. That would be a laugh. I tell you what'd make a great lecture...an honest and erudite discussion of what the fuck his novel is about.

Mustafa Ben Halim accused of corruption and grabbing of public money. He and his family intend to sue the accusers. Only his son speaks on his behalf and no direct declaration comes from the old man, which is probably too frail to answer.

Sadly young fans might kill themselves because of them copying their idol. Imagine their suprise - if there is an afterlife - oh, sorry kid - the cunt was just an attention seeker - it sucks to be you! Welcome to hell!

According to someone who asked her family she is ok. Attention seeker alert.

Pier 1 Imports to close all of its 540 stores and liquidate.