Two JFK conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven.
They finally ask God to once and for all settle for them who it was that killed JFK. God sighs and patiently and lovingly admonishes them,
"You've spent so much of your lives chasing after this conspiracy. You've sacrificed time with your families, allowed yourselves to be overcome by paranoia. You've wasted so much of the time and energy that I gave you. Oswald killed Kennedy. He was acting on his own and all of the evidence you needed to satisfy yourselves of that was there the whole time, if only you had looked with open hearts and minds."
The one conspiracy theorist turns to the other and whispers, "This goes higher than we thought."