Leaderboard

Yes, not had much time to be on this forum of late with this extra job.

Love the idea of a surprise tortoise

Goodwill Ambassador Hahahahhahahahaahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahaahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaahahahahaahahahahahhahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaa

Come on now. If anybody knows how to keep people alive its Mugabe. He tortures them till they are almost dead......then brings them back from the brink.......then tortures them till they are almost dead......then brin........

I can tell which people are judgemental just by looking at them.

It's working for me - actually laughed out loud listening to the news this morning and I feel so much better for that

Shannon Hoon stopped singing on this day 22 years ago, aged 28.

Congrats to msc for breaking the hits record. Meanwhile, me, Grim, and Death Impends are currently at 13 out of 25. But Sean is currently in third place, and he only have 11 hits. This is starting to get down to the wire as we get to the last two months...

Looks terrible. DL should keep him.

Lionel Blair

Someone better tell the Moberly Monitor then: http://www.moberlymonitor.com/news/20171019/4th-street-theater-to-celebrate-grand-reopening-oct-27-29

So I guess then that Cher is not in her sad last days?

31st President Herbert Hoover fell into a great depression on this day 53 years ago, aged 90.

Ronnie VanZant, Steve and Cassie Gaines of Lynyrd Skynyrd became free birds on this day 40 years ago.

No kidding. I mean, suggesting Trump has a deep grasp of the issues?

Her defence lawyer, Mr O Pistorius, knew a thing or two about getting off like that.

I thought it already was over - since this BTW embedded video links haven't been working for ages on here. Okay, well the song is "Speaking in Tongues" on Youtube if anyone wants to hear Meat Loaf singing about "erections of the heart".

I've always liked the so-in-so died and was replaced by a look a like theories because they're bizarre yet commonplace at the same time, they're also fairly harmless as conspiracies go. Mae West died and was replaced by her brother, The Queen Mum was killed in WW2 and was replaced by a look a like for morale reasons, the bizarre Lord Lucan was Colonel Gadafi nonsense.

Visited a friends today, and they had a copy of The Sun. About the best bit in it (apart from some photo's of Orlaith from Big Brother ) was this joke. End of the summer holidays, and Primary 4 class (9/10 year olds for those not familar with UK education system) return to school. The teachers, Miss Jones, says to them all 'Children, now you are in primary 4, we don't use baby words anymore - only grown up words. So, Jane, what did you do during your holiday?' 'I went to visit my nana, miss' 'No Jane, not nana, you went to visit your grandmother. Remember, grown up words! And Samantha, what about you?' 'I went on a choo-choo, miss' 'No Samantha - you went on a train. Grown-up words!!' A little boy at the back, Jack, puts up his hand. 'Yes, Jack?' 'I read a book, miss' Suprised, the teachers said, 'And what book was that Jack?' 'It was Winnie the Sh1t, miss'

Posh and Becks are met by their driver at Heathrow on their return from a week in New York: "Stay anywhere good in New York, Mr Beckham?" "Yeah, it was like really nice - I'm trying to remember its name...here, I know, wassa name of that famous London railway station?" "Er, Waterloo, Sir?" "Nah...not that one..." "Charing Cross? Paddington?" "Nah..." "Kings Cross? Liverpool Street? Victoria?" "Victoria! That's it, brilliant! - Victoria, wassa name of that hotel what we stayed in?"

This one is worse, though Windsor is unlikely to understand it: What do you call a Parkinson's sufferer under a pile of leaves? Russel.

Speaking of Quebec, this joke is a little dated but when I heard it several years ago I laughed my socks off: Why did Lucien Bouchard have a map of Canada tattooed onto his ass? So that every time he bends over, Quebec separates. For all you Canadians out there...

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Rumor has it that Newt Gingrich had a stroke while typing this tweet.