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To nick a crap joke from earlier discussions: Willesee 2019?

Whit the actual FUCK !

he should stick to writing

*chuckles* Surely the secret is to pick at least one cancer ridden young lady with no Wiki page. You can have all the analyses you like, all the stats you want. I hope to live to see the day a winner wins without one of these dames. Meantime I'll putter along with people I heard of and who will be missed outside of elites, cliques, family and friends. Because I will miss them...famous or infamous.

Another one in Panama, this time with video, the first two seconds: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6272069/Shocking-moment-woman-taking-selfie-27th-floor-balcony-plunges-death-Panama.html

Perfection. Innit!

Jamaican footballer Luton Shelton (Nov 1985) has ALS. I remember him playing alongside Henrik Larsson at Helsingborg many years ago. He's Jamaica's all-time top scorer, so definitely obitable.

For the first time I'm starting to think the Queen might die before Philip

Good question but may I draw your attention to the Queen's favourite royal cousin Princess Alexandra who also did not attend after falling and breaking her arm aged 81.

For me, researching for what you think might be uniques is the fun bit as the new year approaches, and hitting one is very satisfying. I suppose I have to be pleased with hitting one 5 out of 6 years i've been doing DDP.

Walked without a stick. However the Duke of Kent looked really rough and the Duchess of Kent did not turn up. Are we looking at the right Royals?

Ever Decreasing Circles has always been a favourite of mine, Home to Roost is a good one too

In light of many of our Deadpools being condemned, I'd just like to congratulate Wormfarmer on making this competition that isn't a pile of shit

"a search for director underway. According to Bell, Nichelle Nichols and the team are keen to find a woman of color (to) helm Noah’s Room. " Not just racist but sexist too.

I’ve recently joined my local boxing club and the trainer there suggested that I tried skipping to get fitter. After doing this for an hour, he handed me a rope and said, “Use this, you won’t look as gay”

Simon Armitage has written something that will be broadcast on Radio 4 about a missing child and it will be interspersed with interviews with Jerry McCann. I was a bit concerned on the taste front.

Oh I assure you all my jokes are nicked from others. Like this one, about an old guy who died. 99 years old, lived a health freak existence on orders of his wife, she's made him a vegan teetotaller exercise guy etc etc, anyhow they're killed in the same car crash. So they're up at Heaven together and St Peter meets them and gives them the low down on the afterlife, walking about, pointing out stuff. "Pubs over there!" "You've got pubs in heaven?" said the guy, surprised. His wife by his side. "OH aye", said St Peter, "All kinds of pubs, all the booze you can think of. It's Heaven, so you can drink all you want if you want with not even a hangover. You can live however you want." They walk by a MacDonalds. "You've got fast food up here?" said the guy. "Oh aye" said St Peter, "Any type you want, it's Heaven, you can eat anything you want up here." They pass by a brothel. St Peter nods. "Any type you want, it's Heaven after all." The tour ends. St Peter says "Anything to say?" Guy turns to his wife. "You cunt, I could have been here 70 years ago!" It's got the structure of a Mike Reid gag, but dunno, heard it off a drunk guy in the QMU years ago.

Just a quick update, she’s off the ventilator but still on oxygen and on the lung ward for now but I know there’s going to be a lot of tests done on her heart this week. However she’s awake, alert and talking away yesterday and again today. Ive barely slept since Thursday so it’s all a bit hazy now, so very large Baileys and an early night will help. Also the support of friends and family and colleagues have been amazing, so now we appear over the worst and critical stage I can hopefully chill and relax tonight.

He's on the Road to Perdition...

He'd better watch out for those Angels and Demons.

The Terminal

He also has a new album coming out on October 26th

Paisly survives the recall petition so any vague excitement can sink back into the mire. General Election seems more likely than getting a hit here now.

My Mum has had a pulmonary oedema following on from a heart attack which I learned about at work this morning at 10am . Spent most of the day in resus in A and E. She’s on a ventilator now. My Dad and I are broken tonight. Just shattered. I pray my mobile doesn’t go off in the night as they (god nurses are fucking angels) said go home. Yesterday was their 49th wedding anniversary. Nothing looked wrong. life turns in the blink of an eye.