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Updating the stats tables as well this month, which has revealed that, following Devin Lima's death, Deceased Hose becomes only the second team in DDP history to pass 1,000 points in total.

I'll wrap you in a shroud in a minute.

Waiting for a valid obit for that footballer who passed away this year? Wait no longer. Not sure how many are on list of the lost but loads of sports people here https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/sports-personality/46554724 Nigel Sims is on there.

The walls are closing in

He's no more likely to commit suicide as the people who listen to his fucking "music".

Wow, theoldlady, I didn't realise you were that old.

come outside - Mike Sarne with Wendy Richard on vocals as the girl he wants to take outside, she was Miss Brahms in are you being served, so I assume he was in the other one

Memphis rapper K-Rock becomes yet another Three 6 Mafia affiliate to die early.

Congrats on the NFC North division title @Phantom of the Midway

Hmm...last blog post was over 2 months ago, last news article about 6 weeks ago...is this a worrying degree of quiet, or should I prepare to learn an instrument and/or post an onslaught of votes in her direction for 2019?

An old favourite for many of us randomly showed up to the read the Cbeebies Bedtime Story tonight*. *For oldies, think Jackanory and on right track.

Shame it wasn't the HQ host tbh.

Not really a stretch, because what they do is exactly the same. One-man/woman show consisting of amusing monologues interspersed with poems. I've seen both live, so feel competent to judge. Both have published numerous volumes of poems. Pam is of course best known for her comic verse but her poems often have a serious point amongst the humour. Here's a seasonal one: Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money It was Christmas Eve on a Friday The shops was full of cheer, With tinsel in the windows, And presents twice as dear. A thousand Father Christmases, Sat in their little huts, And folk was buying crackers And folk was buying nuts. All up and down the country, Before the light was snuffed, Turkeys they got murdered, And cockerels they got stuffed. Christmas cakes got marzipanned, And puddin's they got steamed, Mothers they got desperate And tired kiddies screamed. Hundredweights of Christmas cards Went flying through the post, With first class postage stamps on those You had to flatter most. Within a million kitchens Mince pies was being made, On everyone's radio 'White Christmas', it was played. Out in the frozen countryside Men crept round on their own, Hacking off the holly, What other folks had grown. Mistletoe on willow trees, Was by a man wrenched clear, So he could kiss his neighbour's wife He'd fancied all the year. And out upon the hillside, Where the Christmas trees had stood, All was completely barren, But for little stumps of wood. The little trees that flourished All the year were there no more, But in a million houses, Dropped their needles on the floor. And out of every cranny, cupboard, Hiding place and nook, Little bikes and kiddies' trikes, Were secretively took. Yards of wrapping paper, Was rustled round about, And bikes were wheeled to bedrooms, With the pedals sticking out. Rolled up in Christmas paper The Action Men were tensed, All ready for the morning, When their fighting life commenced, With tommy guns and daggers, All clustered round about, 'Peace on Earth - Goodwill to Men' The figures seemed to shout. The church was standing empty, The pub was standing packed, There came a yell, 'Noel, Noel!' And glasses they got cracked. From up above the fireplace, Christmas cards began to fall, And trodden on the floor, said: 'Merry Christmas, to you all.' And a perfectly serious one befitting Deathlist Woodland Burial Don’t lay me in some gloomy churchyard shaded by a wall Where the dust of ancient bones has spread a dryness over all, Lay me in some leafy loam where, sheltered from the cold Little seeds investigate and tender leaves unfold. There kindly and affectionately, plant a native tree To grow resplendent before God and hold some part of me. The roots will not disturb me as they wend their peaceful way To build the fine and bountiful, from closure and decay. To seek their small requirements so that when their work is done I’ll be tall and standing strongly in the beauty of the sun.

Well, not now, of course!! As Chaz has said you will probably need to be an old bastard to really get the whole variety performer thing. It really is a TV era that stretched from the late 50s to the late 70s and, maybe, just bled into the early 80s. You didn't miss a thing, most of it was fucking hideous.

Pretty much right up to conviction, lots assuming he'd be Bill Roache'd or what not. iirc there wasn't much of the "always knew he were dodgy" chat before, unlike yer Saviles and Glitters.

The local cinema was an art deco building called Essoldo but known locally as 'the fleapit'. I used to spend about three hours on a Saturday morning watching the Children's Film Foundation's output for the princely sum of a tanner (sixpence, 6d now 2½p ). It closed down and was turned into a bingo hall before being demolished and replaced with an Aldi supermarket.

I'd say that most of them, apart from the ones I've highlighted are NOT what you would really call variety performers.

The Holocaust exhibition in the Imperial War Museum really used to depress me. But then I walked in downstairs and went throught backwards - they start off skinny and miserable and finish up chubby and dancing in the street, magic!

Gary Glitter might be a good outside bet 74, reportedly struggling with heart and hearing problems and a banged up nonce in HM Prison Albany - 16 year sentence passed down in 2015. So he faces Christmas with the troubling thought that he'll be touching 80 if he snags a release for good behaviour. Not much heard about him since his appeal against the most recent sentence was dismissed.

I have been depressed & suicidal throughout all those years I cared for my mother, who suffered from dementia. I have taken meds for high blood pressure during the last months & now I'm the most even-tempered person on earth. Nothing upsets me, I have no desire to drink & I wonder whether the high blood pressure was the real cause of my depression & alcohol problems. I suggest to everyone who reads this, to take his or her blood pressure, because sometimes solutions to severe problems can be so simple. Blood pressure monitors are not expensive.

Yep, doesn’t look like he’ll get a QO anywhere.

Here is a wee subtle hint about my views: GORBACHEV!!!!!!! Also David Attenborough and Terry Jones would be good additions.

RIP "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated." (Mark Twain)

Was my ddp joker up until a few days ago then I convinced myself she could be 2014 Sam Simon,2015 Martin Crowe" aka the sure hit that lives about 10-12 months longer then excpected and defies excpecations to make rosters a 2nd time."