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He is already dead and will be replaced by this stand in. No one will notice the difference....

Allegedly played a huge role in this post. As you can see from the imdb date change, further research from Dr Who fans (a group as interested in research as deadpoolers) has discovered Joan Ellacott actually died in 2007.

TWAT AT THE END OF THE KEYBOARD!

Well the position of prime minister is pretty important, especially when the next in line is a psycho

Definitely a case of do as I say,not as I do !

I find the outpouring of support for him insufferable. It’s going to be a bit embarrassing for some folk now if he doesn’t die...

I don’t recall any of them creating a situation where the deaths of 100,000 Americans is the best outcome?

Typhoid Bou!

Best Tweet Ever on Michael Gove's self isolation:

If he died or recovered today (which are the only two news items worth hearing) then that would be very odd and outside the normal time frame. He obviously has a serious case of the 'rona and he will die in 5 or 6 days or he will recover in 10. The next 4 or 5 days he is going to be extremely ill. I don't think a regular bulletin telling us which of his bodily organs are struggling to cope/failing at any given time is necessarily useful information. Possibly the more relevant information which I have not heard discussed much is if you have a bad case and you don't die how much residual damage are you left with?

https://www.hindustantimes.com/bollywood/dilip-kumar-pens-poem-urging-people-to-stay-indoors-fight-covid-19/story-49Dmq1VLbYboiBixxIbC4H.html Dilip Kumar update, apparently writing poems about coronavirus

This whole corona virus created just to tidy up a messy situation for the royals? (Corona is Latin for crown after all).

April 12th

Bob Dole. Because he’s American and old.

No.

How dare you insult @Toast like that.

RIP. What a classy lady!

Doh! Edited to explain that the above reaction was prompted by the demise of Honor Blackman.

Honor Blackman is also a hit for me and others.

Beside that, she had been suffering from a degenerative illness since at least 2009. Not so surprising she's gone.

Interesting. We can talk away about maggot infested corpses, pretty much troll the shit out of who we think will cark it, at some point, but we absolutely must not link to a website where cocks are pounding vaginas, mouths and arse holes. Very interesting....

Hello all, long time since my last post. I am working from home which requires me getting out of bed and moving to my sofa for the day in front of a laptop, in between essential work I get to have fab irreverent group video chats with my colleagues every day which often descend into the normal innuendo chats we would have in the office. My boss described them last week as 'mental health therapy' and they really are, laughter is often the best medicine. I have been at home now since March 12th - yes we worked out early that staying at home was the best idea, sometime before Boris did. Boredom is still a factor and when not working I can be seen stalking the dog that lives across the road from my windows - I lost my own dog in December to heart failure- and playing computer games. Steam and Big Fish Games have been my solace these days. Stay safe folks and now I have finally found out how to log in here again I may well be around a bit more :-)

Humpty Dumpty Had A Great Fall....Fortunately It Was Easter And He Was Found During An Easter Egg Hunt. Round Up #6 Hau Pei-tsun: Awaiting Obit. Manolis Glezos: https://uk.reuters.com/article/us-people-greece-glezos/glezos-greek-who-tore-swastika-from-acropolis-in-ww2-dies-aged-97-idUKKBN21H1TO Philip Warren Anderson: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/ap/article-8173677/Phillip-Anderson-Nobel-laureate-physics-dies-96.html James Ramsden: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/obituaries/2020/04/01/james-ramsden-last-secretary-war-took-john-profumo-torrid-sex/ Eddie Large: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-52136768 William Frankland: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52150361 Bill Withers: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-52155227 Ira Einhorn: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8189531/Convicted-murderer-known-theUnicorn-Killer-dies-prison-natural-causes-79.html Forrest Compton: https://metro.co.uk/2020/04/06/twilight-zone-actor-forrest-compton-dies-coronavirus-complications-aged-94-12513880/ Shirley Douglas: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/ap/article-8190003/Canadian-actress-activist-Shirley-Douglas-dies-age-86.html Honor Blackman: https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/apr/06/honor-blackman-james-bond-pussy-galore-avengers-dies-aged-94 Lenox Hewitt: https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/sir-lenox-hewitt-obituary-kk2jlkdpr James Drury: https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/breaking-james-drury-dead-virginian-21823734 Margaret Burbidge: https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/professor-margaret-burbidge-obituary-rwjv05328 Nobuhiko Obayashi: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/ap/article-8209815/Filmmaker-Obayashi-portrayed-wars-horrors-dead-82.html John Downing: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8203507/Legendary-Fleet-Street-photographer-John-Downing-dies-aged-79.html Stirling Moss: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/52261216 Tim Brooke-Taylor: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52262490 Peter Bonetti: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52261413 Doug Sanders: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/ap/article-8212829/Doug-Sanders-colorful-20-time-winner-without-major-dies.html Johnny Harris: https://www.heraldscotland.com/opinion/18376003.obituary-johnny-harris-one-worlds-greatest-musical-arrangers/

It's going to be an exciting campaign this year, with two septuagenarians battling each other for who meets the most people

Daft idiots, picking a department store to die?