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Lord Fellatio Nelson

DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

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17 minutes ago, Sir Creep said:

https://www.insidedogsworld.com/dog-breeds/breed-groups/hound-dogs

 

Afghan Hound

American English Coonhound

American Foxhound

Azawakh

Basenji

Basset Hound

Beagle

Black and Tan Coonhound

Bloodhound

Bluetick Coonhound

Borzoi

Dachshund

English Foxhound

Greyhound

Harrier

Ibizan Hound

Irish Wolfhound

Norwegian Elkhound

Otterhound

Petit Basset Griffon Vendeen

Pharaoh Hound

Plott

Pocket Beagle

Redbone Coonhound

Rhodesian Ridgeback

Saluki

Scottish Deerhound

Sloughi

Treeing Tennessee Brindle

Treeing Walker Coonhound

Whippet

———————————-

 

if your dug no listed above—enjoy your cat.

if you can’t field course your dug, it should be fed to pigs.

See list above and act accordingly.

 

Exceot for Bob the dug I make an exception.  Presents from Texas forthcoming.  

SirC

 

When was the last time you saw a cat leading a blind man down the road?

 

Thought not. Fuck off. Dogs are more intelligent and caring animals than cats. 

 

And many of those dogs are not listed above.

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clear-495a83e08fc8e5d7569efe6339a1228ee0clear-495a83e08fc8e5d7569efe6339a1228ee0clear-495a83e08fc8e5d7569efe6339a1228ee0Ignore these at your peril

 

1191540516_fullofterriers.JPG.1d380f8d3cfae883c90977b99c4d3735.JPG

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I am very much a dog person.  I have a beautiful Australian terrier named Clancy.  We also look after (sort of full time foster care) a West Highland Terrier called Hamish.  They might be small but they can be a lot of dog when they get their terrier on.

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Up early and on the way to Heathrow for a flight to Dusseldorf.

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The dugs I’ve listed above are elegant, built for speed, and natural hunters.  Beautiful and graceful and purposeful.  

True there are a handful of breeds not mentioned that provide a worth-a-fuck existence.  I’ll give you 3-4 Non Sporting, Sporting, Working, and Herding The rest...pfft.

However (no offense Mr T) the entire Terrier Group can be summed up in two words: Rat Catchers.  I had a couple growing up so... [she did kill a couple poodles so maybe I’ll re-examine that.  Add Wire-Haired Fox Terrier to the ok list.  Only the poodle-killing ones tho.]

Toy breeds—please.  I owned a Chinese Created who was cool cuz he was cool to own, but a useless mutt.  Hell you can take Cocker Spaniels off the Hound Group snd bin them too.

 

For a Scot to dis Scottish Deerhounds is sacrilege and he taint worth the kilt adorned.  I can’t imagine the abomination, and his tartan-less Scot ancestors are rolling in their graves.

Fact is they’re the only silver-coated dug around and truly beautiful.  

I saw a guy once walking two if the most beautiful dugs ever—pulled me car over and ran across 6 lanes of traffic to ask what they were. (True story).  They were like glistening black, like black cellophane fur.  He had crossed a Deerhound with a Newfie.  Stunning animal.  

————

 

As for this this entire discussion the Latin “de gusto is non est disputabdum” applies.  Thus, I can’t tell you that you are wrong to like what you like; I can, however, tell you your taste sucks.

SC

 

 

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Well I pity da fool who doesn't like a terrier (thanks for the demotion by the way SC-or is it a promotion like with surgeons?).  The proud Australian terrier, while an excellent ratter, was bred specifically to catch snakes.  Though I hope Clancy never comes face to face with one I am sure he would acquit himself nicely.  One thing I do know is that he can grab something and shake the shit out of it.

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Background:  The local branch of the bank where I have my current account is closing, so for convenience I've decided to move it to another bank where I already have a savings account.  For this I needed to make an appointment.

 

Now of course these days you can't phone up the local branch, you have to go through some fucking call centre.  All I wanted was an appointment, but they wanted to know everything down to my shoe size.

 

Bankperson:  What's the number of your savings account?

Me:  I don't know, I haven't got it to hand.

So I then had to give her my name, postcode, date of birth, etc.

Bankperson:  What are the first two digits of your security number?

Me:  I don't have one.

Bankperson:  Oh.  Well, I can issue you with one and email it to you.  What is your email address?

Me:  Look, I just want to make an appointment.  Surely all that can be sorted out then.

Bankperson:  What's your mobile number then?

Me:  I can't remember it, I just got a new one.  My landline is ---

Bankperson:  No, it has to be a mobile.  (Fucking cheek!  Not everybody has a mobile!)

Me:  Look, I just want to make an appointment.

Bankperson:  But I can't just do that, it has to be done through your account.

Me:  Well, what if I didn't have an account?   Surely you'd be able to book me an appointment then.

 

I ONLY WANTED TO MAKE A FUCKING APPOINTMENT :banghead:

 

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43 minutes ago, Toast said:

Background:  The local branch of the bank where I have my current account is closing, so for convenience I've decided to move it to another bank where I already have a savings account.  For this I needed to make an appointment.

 

Now of course these days you can't phone up the local branch, you have to go through some fucking call centre.  All I wanted was an appointment, but they wanted to know everything down to my shoe size.

 

Bankperson:  What's the number of your savings account?

Me:  I don't know, I haven't got it to hand.

So I then had to give her my name, postcode, date of birth, etc.

Bankperson:  What are the first two digits of your security number?

Me:  I don't have one.

Bankperson:  Oh.  Well, I can issue you with one and email it to you.  What is your email address?

Me:  Look, I just want to make an appointment.  Surely all that can be sorted out then.

Bankperson:  What's your mobile number then?

Me:  I can't remember it, I just got a new one.  My landline is ---

Bankperson:  No, it has to be a mobile.  (Fucking cheek!  Not everybody has a mobile!)

Me:  Look, I just want to make an appointment.

Bankperson:  But I can't just do that, it has to be done through your account.

Me:  Well, what if I didn't have an account?   Surely you'd be able to book me an appointment then.

 

I ONLY WANTED TO MAKE A FUCKING APPOINTMENT :banghead:

 

Just hide your money under your mattress.

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6 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Just hide your money under your mattress.

 

Toasty needs a bank account.  :P

 

cash-under-mattress-the-real-value-of-yo

 

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If only.

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I wonder how the EU copyright reform is going to impact my deadpooling.

Maybe the Brexiteers were right.

 

Also, maybe it's time to fake my ip. 

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49 minutes ago, gcreptile said:

I wonder how the EU copyright reform is going to impact my deadpooling.

Maybe the Brexiteers were right.

 

Also, maybe it's time to fake my ip. 

 

world sucks

your cool

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So gc is after an ip replacement?

 

I thought he was so much younger.......

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On 25/03/2019 at 19:29, Toast said:

Background:  The local branch of the bank where I have my current account is closing, so for convenience I've decided to move it to another bank where I already have a savings account.  For this I needed to make an appointment.

 

Now of course these days you can't phone up the local branch, you have to go through some fucking call centre.  All I wanted was an appointment, but they wanted to know everything down to my shoe size.

 

Bankperson:  What's the number of your savings account?

Me:  I don't know, I haven't got it to hand.

So I then had to give her my name, postcode, date of birth, etc.

Bankperson:  What are the first two digits of your security number?

Me:  I don't have one.

Bankperson:  Oh.  Well, I can issue you with one and email it to you.  What is your email address?

Me:  Look, I just want to make an appointment.  Surely all that can be sorted out then.

Bankperson:  What's your mobile number then?

Me:  I can't remember it, I just got a new one.  My landline is ---

Bankperson:  No, it has to be a mobile.  (Fucking cheek!  Not everybody has a mobile!)

Me:  Look, I just want to make an appointment.

Bankperson:  But I can't just do that, it has to be done through your account.

Me:  Well, what if I didn't have an account?   Surely you'd be able to book me an appointment then.

 

I ONLY WANTED TO MAKE A FUCKING APPOINTMENT :banghead:

 

 

Update.  Went to the bank today and applied for current account.

They didn't ask for my email address, nor any kind of phone number, nor did they give me a "security number".

New bank account will be ready in a week and I don't have to do a thing.  Result.

 

 

 

 

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Lived on the edge today.

 

Had a bacon sandwich for lunch.

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51 minutes ago, YoungWillz said:

Lived on the edge today.

 

Had a bacon sandwich for lunch.

 

Dare I ask - one rasher or two?:pop:

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Just now, Grim Up North said:

 

Dare I ask - one rasher or two?:pop:

Two. No butter, ketchup.

 

I could have gone for three, but that would have been rasher of me. :D

 

 

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5 minutes ago, YoungWillz said:

Two. No butter, ketchup.

 

I could have gone for three, but that would have been rasher of me. :D

 

 

Aye ketchup.  Or Mayo (cue salad cream)

 

Butter w bacon???  What in living hell?  

 

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"Cheeky glass or 3 of vino with this one #nomnom #blessed"

 

Why, Facebook, is there a 'like' button but not a 'this post just gave me cancer' button?

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3 hours ago, The Quim Reaper said:

"Cheeky glass or 3 of vino with this one #nomnom #blessed"

 

Why, Facebook, is there a 'like' button but not a 'this post just gave me cancer' button?

this.

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Just now, time said:

this.

just kidding.

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So you're thinking, 'you are pretty much perfect' then they mention they are covered in diesel. OMG. It does not get better than that.

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On 23/04/2019 at 03:48, Boudicca said:

So you're thinking, 'you are pretty much perfect' then they mention they are covered in diesel. OMG. It does not get better than that.

:wub:

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