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I went into a chemists today and asked, "What's good for killing the Coronavirus?" She said, "Ammonia cleaner". I said, "I'm sorry, I thought you were the pharmacist".

The World Health Organisation has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out. Patient Bearer BTW not being a drama queen. Just sayin my symptoms. It's only a cold I have.

Just seen this! Excellent to see the whole country coming together during a crisis.

We're at the very foothills of the epidemic...... We could be at several thousand deaths a week from this thing in a matter of week. And people like you trying to brush it off as nothing, still going into work with a high temperature and cough are responsible for increasing those deaths by giving it to people with underlying health conditions. British selfishness astounds me. It's not about you, for once; it's about the people your spreading a deadly virus too...

Boris Johnson is a dork. In a week or two he will eat any of his words or will be lynched.

With regard to hygiene, I've always thought it healthier to have some exposure to dirt and germs as it keeps the immune system ticking over. As my grandmother used to say, "You have to eat a peck of dirt before you die". Although that could be interpreted as it would take that amount of dirt to kill you. Still, the old girl lived to be 100, so she obviously did something right.

To be honest I'd go even more sinister. That Chinese scientist was actively employed to create this virus, as international governments have all secretly agreed to want to reduce the world population.

You can have it for four days without even knowing you have it to be frank, but I get your point. I'm sick death of people taking this piss out of a policy that could save mine and tens of thousand of other people like me's lives. If and when self-isolation comes in, I just hope to god people actually follow it. Not make the most of the free time.

He is only 87.

The fate suffered by his paternal great-grandfather back in 1922. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ali_Kemal

I guess any Notable Celebs over 80+ who have the bad luck to live near these dipshits can be added to the list soon.

Just been washing my hands as I sing "Happy Birthday to me".

Javier Solana, former NATO secretary, has coronavirus. He is 77.

This will be us in 2 weeks time:

Unfortunately I'm too old for these things. *Immediately creates an account*

I think that a big part of the gap in case numbers between the UK and Italy is down to luck, with a further portion down to our not testing enough people (for instance, the gvt just stopped community testing in the UK entirely). Kissing on the cheek may be a small factor too, but it's hardly the only way to catch this. You can't tell me people in the UK are especially hygienic - handwashing stats etc are OK, but not drastically different to other European countries https://bigthink.com/strange-maps/revealed-dutch-are-least-hygienic-europeans, and other countries with better stats than us, e.g. Germany and Sweden, have apparently been hit harder by Covid19 so far. Meanwhile, the UK's population density is higher than Italy's (274 vs 200 people per square km), and we have many fewer doctors, nurses, hospital beds and ITU beds while also having a very elderly population. We're having the same numbers of new cases per day now that they were two weeks ago... and there's nothing about the current response that reassures me we won't be in similar straits or worse to the ones they are in now before the month is up.

Ah yeah, this one day will totally wipe coronavirus off the face of the earth...

The Chinese government is part of the club same as the leaders of Iran if they weren't they wouldn't still be in power. See the recent blow up with Iran. They warned the USA ahead of time it will attack particular bases that house US troops in Iraq as revenge for Soleimani,chances are Soleimani was making power moves to try and take over Iran himself. Gaddafi tried leaving and going in his own direction with a gold backed currency and got fucked. Saddam left then fell back on line before finally being removed in 2003.Kim Jong un is 100% apart of it aswell.

Corona deaths in Germany by age, region and gender: -89 (1), from North Rhine-Westphalia (female) -85 (1), from Baden-Württemberg (male) -83 (1), from Bavaria (male) -80 (1), from Baden-Württemberg (male) -78 (2), both from North Rhine-Westphalia (one male, one female) -67 (1), from Baden-Württemberg (male)

PORNHUB is giving Italians premium content for FREE for an entire month while they are trapped in coronavirus hell. Proceeds from the Modelhub platform are to be donated to help the European nation which was placed on an unprecedented lockdown on Monday night. Probably a few of you now who want to travel to Italy. SC

(Short answer) Murdered a few hookers with a hammer.

A first for the former young rebel, then He just voted for a guy the same age as him!

I've had reaction (as in ironic appreciative reaction) from listeners when I inflicted the somewhat clumsy lyrics of the b-side of that on them. I'd say this isn't what he intended but...you could hear it as a desperate mother offering to shag a shopkeeper in exchange for a chance to feed her family