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Did any of you notice that they're calling Dominic Cummings' isolation scandal Cumgate on Twitter?

As promised. Living MPs over the age of 70 (to be precise living MPs born before 1st January 1950 as that was easy to keep tracks on.) All 571 of them. Seen as a few hundred on the old list have bought the farm and a shedload have turned 70 in the past 5-6 years.

Not as catchy as Take On Me

Not famous for anyone except me, but my grandmother is turning 100 today. I’ve waited so long to finally say it ! welcome to the 100 club mamie !

And among the comments, this gem: One thing I've noticed about this whole debacle is that Dominic Cummings is a very slow driver. Travelled 270 miles to Durham and it took the contagious.

You should leave the stats to Paddytwat, he can then give you chapter and fucking verse on the intricacies of it. What bothers me is exactly how we are recording these deaths. My mates wife is a nurse on the Coronavirus A&E and, basically, you can be wheeled in with heart failure and die but you will also be recorded as a death from Corona if you tested positive. In effect, the virus does not necessarily kill them but, because you have it, it goes on to the stats as a cause or 'contributing factor' to the death. This is plainly wrong and, moreover, skews the virus death rate a lot. This does not negate the fact that we have useless cunts in charge of this crisis but, again, because they are so fucking inept, perhaps they have monumentally fucked up the real death rates because they have gone for a 'one size fits all' approach. Well, they have fucked everything else up, haven't they!

Alright, so we finally enough new hits for an update: Stanley Ho, Balbir Singh, and Gabriel Bacquier. But most important of all, Death Impends gets a hit with Ronald Shurer who gives him a pretty healthy advantage. Hutton Gibson has been picked, but seems to be a non-obit - if he is even dead. Luigi Simoni was not picked. Rank Team Points 1 Death Impends 719 2 gcreptile 592 3 RadGuy 574 4 Banana 566 5 Deadsox 533 6 Joey Russ 529 7 Cpt. Chorizo 522 8 msc 509 9 Book 469 10 Skinny Kiltrunner 465 11 John Key 458 12 The Quim Reaper 457 13 JiroemonKimura 437 14 Clorox Bleachman 427 15 Grave Danger 403 16 drol 398 17 The Unknown Man 396 18 The Mad Hatter 379 19 DevonDeathTrip 378 20 Sean 370 21 Torva Messor 368 22 theoldlady 358 23 Sir Creep 324 24 The Old Crem 294 25 Toast 280 26 YoungWillz 269 27 Etushispushingupdaisies 268 28 Chilean Way 262 29 Kenny 248 30 Bibliogryphon 192 31 Great Uncle Bulgaria 162 32 markb4 153 33 Gooseberry Crumble 150 34 ThePrematureBurial 124 35 Pedro67 57

Eddie Albert wouldn't return to green acres after this day 15 years ago, aged 99.

Surprising she hasn't smacked him.

You ain't seen nothing yet! Fasten your seatbelt its going to be a bumpy ride and with an enema involved likely quite messy one too!!

Heave Ho... Hong Kong gambling king Stanley Ho is finally dead, and JoeMoneypenny bet big on him. The risk paid off handsomely, with a jackpot of 45 base points and 18 uniqueness points for 63 total and his first hit of the year. Singh and Ho dying within days makes you wonder if drol sent a few too many angry letters to the Grim Reaper's office.

I had a weird dream the other night where we all found out DDT had died. It turned out he was a 70 year old farmer called Francis and had drowned in a recent flash flood in Devon trying to save his combine harvester. Anyhow he's still posting, but on the off chance he's a 70 year old farmer one day in a flash flood, just let the combine harvester go and save yourself... (I don't know why an animal farmer would have a combine harvester but I'm not in charge of the dreams...)

The seven year bitch

Welcome to Barnard Castle

Today I dreamed that Sumner Redstone died, and someone (Death Impends, I think) posted that Dilip Kumar wins the battle of the immortals.

Stanley Ho dead at 98. Soong-jong, Singh and now Ho. I hope you’ve got an alibi drol?

Can somebody find out if his wife can drive?

Twenty-third round masterlist: theoldlady: Jimmy Carter Lafaucheuse: Kim Yong-ju Ulitzer95: Jules Sedney Donald: Josip Manolic CoffinLodger: Luis Echeverria The Quim Reaper: Mustafa Ben Halim chilean way: Giorgio Napolitano ThereWillBeDeaths7: Lee Teng-hui paddyfool: Francisco Morales Bermudez Bibliogryphon: Kenneth Kaunda Newjack: Branislav Soskic CastAway: Francesc Badia Batalla drol: Lubomir Strougal Philip: Ali Bozer Life Is Beautiful: Abderrahmane Youssoufi Sir Creep: Abdelsalam Majali

Former British prime minister Harold Wilson died on this day 25 years ago, aged 79.

End of the fight for women rights for Jane Addams on this day 85 years ago, aged 65.

Jackie Kennedy went to see all of her family 26 years ago today.

End of the bewitchment for Elizabeth Montgomery on this day 25 years ago, aged 62.