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Up until two days ago, this was probably the only place in the entirety of the Internet to care about him. RIP.

I think you're confusing me with someone who takes this seriously.

That's genius, you've cracked it; we should try and curb the infection! Look, as a percentage, very, very, very few people in the world will get it. And very few of those who get it will die. And very few of those who die will have been otherwise healthy before they contracted the virus. This will all pass soon. The majority of people who've caught a touch of the Coronas have already recovered and are back at work, wondering what all the fuss is about. We know the score when it comes to reducing the risk of catching something contagious, much like when bird flu was rife we didn't need telling not to bowl about using dead pigeons as flannels. All we need telling is to stop panicking and have some common sense. Wash your hands, don't cough over everything like a scummy fucker and just go about your day, preferably without doing silly things like panic buying 240 loo rolls, french kissing infected people, predicting the world's going to end or reading The Sun. EDIT: Hello, this is TQR coming from almost three years in the future. Yeah, hi. I’m good thanks. Erm, so this post did not age terribly well. Eight weeks after posting this, I nearly died of “a touch of the Coronas”. The virus mutated horribly and many, many governments did not respond in time or to the degree that scientists urged them to. Matt Hancock, for one, let it into care homes and killed tens of thousands of nans and grandads. At least 6.7m people died globally, and they’re just the reported ones. To my credit, my opinion changed very quickly after this post. It was a weird time back then, and I suppose there was a modicum of not wanting to believe what this thing could mean. Believe it or not, some wacko cranks still think it’s a myth, and that vaccines which curbed serious cases and transmission rates (even where restrictions were dropped like no fucks were given) are some kind of NWO bollocks. Thankfully, normality has pretty much been restored in most parts of the world, though many remain scarred, bereaved and anxiety-riddled as a result. Our nurses, doctors, healthcare assistants etc are considered heroes by all but the most virulent and sociopathic of Tory supporting arseholes. Oh yeah, and speaking of them, they partied while you locked yourself away and missed your loved ones’ funerals. But you could’ve predicted that. Anyway, I digress; the point of this additional bit of info from the future is to mark what I said back then as utter drivel. It is an admission of almost total wrongness, and I apologise profusely for it.

Whichever of them gets its the choice of running mate could be vital

What a sad sophomoric Napoleonic response. Inferior much?

Quite. So what you're saying is that it's pretty much under control, so there's no need whatsoever for any doomsday scenarios and far-fetched comparisons with the plague. EDIT: Future TQR again. It felt under control, but it really wasn’t. Sorry.

I assume the person that's meant to be writing up his little article for the main page keeps nodding off.

An aside: In doing genealogy research, I once had to search the surname BORN. I can not begin to tell you what a pain in the arse that was to send through a database. 'Mr. Born Died on..."

Anbazhasick, Anbazhabetter, Anbazhagone

Magdaleno Mercado, one of Don Nacho Trelles boys at the 1966 World Cup, has died at 75. Sixth team member to die, I reckon.

From this week's Private Eye

One could say Corona thread numbers are spreading rapidly across the forum.

He looks great for a man almost 347! Should we pay him a visit to destroy the philosophers stone? We can't have DL-candidates plainly cheating!

So Rip Oliver is dead. Rip to him. May he forever Rest In Peace. RIP. Super bad joke aside, he was a very popular pick in this round including multiple jokers. So where do we begin? Well, many teams are now drawer since he was super popular. Skinny vs Jiroemon, Banana vs Spade, Fear Beag vs AO Guy all are still neck and neck because they both share Oliver. Chorizo and HDS as well, since both of them picked him as their joker. Then, both Torva and Reptile had him, but Torva picked Oliver as his joker. Still, a long ways to go mind. Death Impends showing why he’s among the best and takes a 6 point lead for Oliver. Book also jokered him when DDT didn’t have him, although it’s only a 3 point lead rather than a 6 point one since DDT did have Asa Ellison. Msc said he was expecting to be beaten by Biblio, but the early Oliver hit shows that his team can’t really be underestimated. So who’s left? Well, Sir Creep expands his lead against me, making my chances of making a comeback very grim indeed. Perhaps more grim though is FixedBusiness. Clorox is now ahead of him by 9 points. So maybe I won’t face the biggest squonking after all... Skinny Kiltrunner vs JiroemonKimura 3 - 3 Grobler vs John Key 0 - 0 Engineer vs Grim 0 - 0 YoungWillz vs Wormfarmer 0 - 0 Bibliogryphon vs msc 0 - 3 Torva vs Reptile 6 - 3 Banana vs Spade_Cooley 6 - 6 Quim Reaper vs Deathray 0 - 0 Maryport vs Deadsox 0 - 0 Oldlady vs DeathByArsenic 0 - 6 An Fear Bag vs Alt Obits Guy 3 - 3 DDT vs Book 3 - 6 Sir Creep vs Joey Russ 6 - 0 Chorizo vs HDS 6 - 6 Death Impends vs Ethushishispushingupdaisies 6 - 0 Clorox vs FixedBusiness 9 - 0

Well, if I catch it and die, I'd just like to say that it's been nice "knowing" you all and hopefully see you all on the other side.

I don't think it's population control but a economic cull . We have very sick and demented people who run this world , they aren't our leaders they're our owners. We're seen as economic units not people. Old and disabled are seen as expendable and a threat . https://hellocaremail.com.au/ageing-population-threat-global-economy-g20-hears/ https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/why-an-ageing-population-is-the-greatest-threat-to-society-5361944.html?amp

After the Coronavirus was named as one of the reasons for FlyBe’s collapse, other airlines around the world have said they’re not taking any chances.

Not so sure about Africa having an especially high mortality rate from this. Relatively young population with a low smoking rate. Equatorial sun and heat (present in much though obvs not all of the continent) are also not good for viral survival on surfaces and hence onwards transmission. On the other hand, large church gatherings and densely packed cities with poor quality health infrastructure may be problematic, and where high rates of malnutrition, TB or HIV are present survival chances will likely be impaired. Syrian refugee camps in the middle east are a clear risk area, as is much of the Indian subcontinent.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8066419/Heartache-Boris-Johnsons-estranged-wife-Marina-Wheeler-mother-dies.html Boris Johnsons current mother in law, mother of his soon to be ex wife Marina Wheeler died yesterday.

Here is 4 generations of my family (c.1910). They were engineering pioneers in Bristol. They essentially changed the working conditions for ship engineers in Bristol by starting a union there. Youngest is my great grandad. Oldest is my great x4 grandad. From left to right - James H.E Flowers (1884-1944) James A. Flowers (1905-1984) Charles H Flowers (1834-1916) James G.E Flowers (1861-1943)

Easier to help on the obit of someone you've been a huge fan of, as opposed to some one like Arap Moi. "Uh, he dictated in Kenya for years and drol hated him..."

Javier Perez De Cuellar! Welcome to the 100 Club.

Now his wife (widow) Belgica Castro dies at 99 https://www.biobiochile.cl/noticias/artes-y-cultura/teatro/2020/03/06/a-los-99-anos-y-un-dia-despues-del-deceso-de-su-esposo-muere-actriz-belgica-castro.shtml (in spanish)

A close source of mine told me that Warwick Davis was admitted to hospital after suffering a stroke. He’s been in hospital for a couple of days now.