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Okay. Let’s try something new. Something that’ll hopefully not play into the hands of research-happy deadpooling grandees. Something that weeds out both the obvious and the obscure. So, first things first, you pick 5 names. I’d suggest a couple of subs as well in case of death or any of the rules (I’ll get to those) being broken before the start. Quite simply, first to a full house of deads is the winner. If more than one person gets across the line at the same time, the winner will be the team with the lowest average age of death. If the average ages of death are identical to the day, the world implodes and our lives will end All normal so far, right? But there are a fair few rules with which to comply, the reason being that this is meant to be a pool of punts (note please, name), rather than no-brainers. Not a single dead cert or “Whooooooo?” in sight. Deaths that’ll make us exclaim “Bloody hell!”, rather than mutter “About time”. Think David Hasselhoff rather than David Gulpilil. Now pay attention, you punts. Health Rules: These are, of course, to the best of public knowledge at the start time. They must have been born between 1931 and 2002. If they have cancer, the year of birth limit rises to 1961 and it can’t be terminal or any higher than Stage 3. If this is unknown, it's not allowed. Also, no more than one of these per team please. If they have Dementia of any kind, or Parkinson’s, the year of birth limit rises to 1951 and it must not have been diagnosed any more than 3 years ago. If it’s unknown when roughly they were diagnosed, it’s not allowed. Also, no more than one of these per team please. They must not have MND, ALS, COPD or any other degenerative illness I’ve not mentioned that will ultimately cause their death. Don't even question it. They must not have had a stroke, heart attack/failure or multiple organ failure in the last 5 years. I'll accept people with slightly dicky tickers who haven't had a heart attack/failure. They must not have been given a limited time to live, unless it was only by a charlatan clairvoyant. They must not have been sentenced to death. They must not be a missing person. They must be a fucking human, obviously. If it only becomes public knowledge after the start date that your pick contravened any of these health rules, you’re a lucky sod. But if I find any evidence of their illness from before the start date, I'll be on you like a puma. And finally, if you dare submit a single Famous For Being Ill pick (which of course would grossly contravene at least one of these rules), not only will you be instantly banned from entering this pool but I will dedicate the rest of my life to persecuting you mercilessly in what will be one of the most poisonous vendettas of all time. Fame Rules: These are the four criteria for fame, but your pick does not need to comply with all of these: They’ve had any article written about them within the last 12 months. Not fussy where, and it can be anything, even something as menial as being snapped taking the bins out à la Alex Trebek (though he’s not allowed, for obvious reasons). They’ve appeared in the world of film, TV, music, radio, sport, politics, podcasts, YouTube or their own published content within the last 18 months. They’ve more than 200k followers on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook. They’ve more than 1,000 words in their Wikipedia UK article. As I say, not all of these have to be complied with, but… If none of these criteria are met, your pick is not allowed. If 1 or 2 of them are met, I will choose 4 other posters (of a varied demographic) to PM and ask if they know who the pick is. If there’s more than one ‘no’ (including from me), your pick is not allowed. I won’t publicly name said posters I consult, and neither will I reveal to them who picked each name. If 3 or all 4 of the criteria are met, happy days, and thank you for making things a bit easier. Obit Rules: Qualifying Obits are pretty much a cut/paste from the DDP, with the exception of BBC regional news (must be national or world) and The S*n (I’m boycotting the cunts and I make no apology for that). If they obit after the start date but died before it, tough shit mate. A sub of yours comes into play. And Finally... Each name can only be picked by up to 3 people; this is on a first-come-first-served basis. Submit your team via PM to me. Don't post it here. As soon as I’ve approved it, I’ll let you know, and I'll update the master list. I reserve the right to ask you to prove compliance to any of the above rules before I allow it. Any rejected names (and names that’ve been picked 3 times) will be posted below. Remember, the rules apply right up to the start date, midnight GMT on Friday 1st January 2021. ALL of the above is in aid of getting big name picks that perhaps are often left out of existing pools because they're seen as being too likely to survive. I don’t expect this to be the most fast-paced of deadpools as, if this works how I intend, each and every death will be at least fairly surprising. With this in mind, I’ll make the whole exercise worthwhile and, much like how our highly regarded member for Maryport does with his pools, I have a charity pot. 30 quid will go to the winner’s established charity or JustGiving page of choice. Additionally, in another desperate effort to try and encourage big name picks that aren’t obviously at death’s door, whoever submits my personal favourite team earns their choice of aforementioned good cause a tenner on Christmas Day. Even if you don’t get a single hit, you’ve made a difference. Don't agree with who I pick? Sue me. Entries open immediately. The entry deadline is 00:00GMT, Friday 25th December 2020. Start time is 00:00GMT, Friday 1st January 2021. Now go on, fuck off and pick some people we’ve all heard of. Best of luck!

I knew it was coming, but I didn't know when. Rest in peace, Alex. Your long, painful battle is finally over.

Slightly surprised at a few of those failing on fame grounds too. Ted Turner is historically one of the most powerful figures in American broadcasting and was also satirised more than once in the first few seasons of Family Guy (although I confess he's one of those people I always forget exists). While he failed on health grounds ultimately, I've also heard of Willie Mays (sportsman, no?) but am flabbergasted at the Alice Munro DQ. She's definitely got articles written about her and her Wikipedia is long enough, I'm assuming she fails on the ground of not having published anything new recently, but hell, the woman won the Nobel Literature Prize, why does she need to write anything else?! I don't claim to know anything about anything she's written, but I'm surprised she failed the fame test.

Oh, no. I knew it was coming, but still. R.I.P. A legendary and respectable human being with an impactful legacy.

I'm absolutely certain it doesn't sit well with me. 70 million people still voted for him after 4 years of lying, bullying, bloviating, sexist, racist, climate denying, covid denying, narcissistic bullshit. Some of them proudly. I can only ascribe it to the 1/3 that always vote Republican, plus....well, plus what? That's the bit that bothers me most if I'm honest.

Sounds more like a pizza correspondent....

Did they? I never knew. The Scousers were very quiet about that one

Almost certain to break the record now.Especially with COVID sweeping around the world.Even without the COVID factor the record would be broken I think.

June Foulds, British athlete who won Bronze at the 1952 Helsinki Olympics in the Women’s 4x100m and then Silver at the 1956 Melbourne Olympics in the Women’s 4x100m, has died aged 86. She also won medals at the European and Commonwealth Games, and appeared on Desert Island Discs.

There were 456 centenarians in Ireland in 2018. Assuming that hasn't gone down on a yearly average, it should be about the same now. Partition of Ireland was on 3rd May 1921. So you need to add in 6 months of people who are not quite centenarians. So just taking a punt but maybe 600+? Maybe "one of the last" notable people but it will be quite a few years until we're down to the last few.

Ahahahahahahahahahaha. And indeed, hahahahahahaha. Good game sir! Might give this a go, since research is limited and that part is right up my alley. I'll mail one when I get my arse in gear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4d2kZc-J90 O`Neal face timed a fan with dementia last month.He looks horrendously ill.

As already noted, Camero is dead, which leaves Ray Anthony as the oldest living jazz great.

No, he did actually exist. But not quite 'legendary' enough to have a Wikipedia page. More of a leg-end of Irish country music, all in all, I suspect. Those naughty people at the Ulster Herald need to revise the meaning of hyperbole, possibly.

106 today. Oldest living hollywood golden age actor, last main cast member of Saboteur (1942), Spellbound (1945) after the death of Rhonda Fleming last month, A Walk in the Sun (1945), M (1951) and He Ran All the Way (1951). Probably the last in many other things, too. Still working and we'll hopefully see new pictures of him. Remembers the Great Depression, career spanning nine or ten decades in theatre, radio, film and television.

Also pleasing that it looks like he's lived long enough to see Georgia vote Democrat at a Presidential election again. Not happened since 1992.

Candido Camero, a percussionist and Afro Cuban jazz pioneer, has died. He was 99. https://www.wbgo.org/post/remembering-candido-camero-percussionist-and-afro-cuban-pioneer-who-has-died-99#stream/0

NEW LOCKDOWN PROTOCOL FOR THE U.K. MANCHESTER- you are able to fight your neighbour providing you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to. WALES-burgling homes in your local area is permitted providing you sanitise before and after the offence. Track and trace technology must also be used. LONDON -you can only visit your dealer when collecting your children from school. The dealer should wear a face visor and make sure all bags are sanitised. NEWCSATLE -having sex with your cousin is permitted but you must be in a pub before 10pm and use approved lubricant. N. IRELAND -Vigilante groups of no more than six allowed outdoors and socially distancing between the hours of 10pm - 2am only. You must wear suitable PPE for any physical contact. BRISTOL - massage parlours are permitted to remain open, this is now classed as essential services for fear of the economic collapse of the town. Entry from the rear only NOTTINGHAM- now declared a NO GO ZONE, if you must travel to this area please follow all diversions, traffic cones and signals, remain in your car, do not abandon your car, masks are not required as nothing is open NORFOLK - everyone must remain at home and self isolate until manufacturers can distribute gloves with 6 fingers. Please do not go to A&E for digit removal as they are a tad busy. MAIDSTONE -a local women claims she has a potion to "cure all ills". She may be home she may not? She probably has a better success rate with it than others so it's worth a shot, remember it's a "click & collect" service only. SCOTLAND-covid in these parts does not exist, therefore you should carry on as you were, house hopping, social gatherings, drunken parties and fireworks until January are mandatory, Survival of the fittest, we're currently testing "herd immunity" in these areas. LIVERPOOL -We have every faith in the residents of this area to figure this one out for themselves, after all you've had hills to climb and have been going around in very confusing circles for decades YOU'VE GOT THIS! Stick to these guidelines and we'll get through it together

Who’s turn is it to do the countdown, guys?

Sure. For a reasonable fee, I’ll release that information EDIT: Now marked with an ‘H’ or ‘F’ for Health DQ and Fame DQ.

Fake news? Please...

Update after two more weeks. It's small, but I wanted to get Nobby Stiles and Sean Connery into the scoreboard. Now it also includes Jeanne Little: I think not much changes - but you deserve your points. Rank Team Score 1 Death Impends 1206 2 Joey Russ 1144 3 msc 1111 4 Banana 1084 5 gcreptile 1065 6 Cpt. Chorizo 967 7 Clorox Bleachman 936 8 Deadsox 930 9 Book 909 10 drol 901 11 JiroemonKimura 859 12 Sean 847 13 DevonDeathTrip 819 14 RadGuy 812 15 The Unknown Man 792 16 John Key 766 17 The Quim Reaper 745 18 Torva Messor 718 19 Skinny Kiltrunner 663 20 Toast 632 21 The Mad Hatter 621 22 theoldlady 620 23 Etushispushingupdaisies 589 24 Grave Danger 528 25 Kenny 523 26 The Old Crem 493 27 Sir Creep 457 28 YoungWillz 376 29 Chilean Way 358 30 Great Uncle Bulgaria 352 31 markb4 325 32 Gooseberry Crumble 294 33 ThePrematureBurial 233 34 Bibliogryphon 192 35 Pedro67 172

November 8