Ha, I like this thread!
Cheryl Cole/Tweedy/Fernandez-Versini etc - talentless waste of space who has made a career out of being very pretty (albeit on a make up budget of £250K p.a.)
Ricky Gervais, Keith Lemon (not funny)
Michael MacIntyre (shouting unfunny material does not make it funny)
John Torode (talking to people 3 feet away as if you are declaiming Shakespeare to the back row of the stalls just looks/sounds stupid)
Everyone on gogglebox apart from the Saddiquis and Giles & Mary (and even then you are laughing at them, not with them)
Female commentators and pundits on match of the day (apart from the rather hot Alex Scott)
Girl popstars whose success is based solely on their looks and willingness to pout in their undies in their videos (exemplified but not limited to Ariana Grande (who looks about 14), Dua Lipa, Zara Larsson, Little Mix). Not that I object to pretty girls in their undies at all but I have to share a house with someone who inflicts the musical byproduct upon me
Sharon Osborne - talentless harridan famous because she is married to someone who ceased being a credible rock star decades ago.
Holly Willoughby - wooden, incapable of facial or verbal expression, just simpers to camera. I know she has blonde hair and a larger than average chest but there must be more talented people around with similar attributes...
I wish it could be a wombling merry Christmas every day - Mash up of two Christmas classics into one awful record
Bob Dylan - can't sing. Nearly everyone in the 60s and early 70s used to put a song or two of his on their albums and most of them are crap, albeit the covers are usually better sung than Dylan's version.
The Hunted - clearly all staged/fixed by the production team, who have one of their number pointing a camera at the so called fugitives all the time
Jeremy Vine - tries to sound genuinely caring on the radio and just sounds annoying
All reality TV stars (especially anyone who has ever been on Love Island), including the staged ones like Geordie Shore, Made in Chelsea etc. (dishonourable mention for Charlotte Crosby, who has to be possibly the most vacuous yet gobbily irritating person on the telly)
Boy bands where not one of them can play an instrument, particularly any of them that have been anywhere near Louis Walsh.
Simon Cowell and just about anyone who has ever sang, claimed to have talent or judged on any of his shows.
There, I feel much better for that...