Inverse Dead Pool 2023

[Summer in Transylvania 2,188]

1 hour ago, machotrouts said:

it's enough to slide him back under my mother.

 

[YoungWillz 21,054]

I did not have Bob Barker here.

 

So as @machotrouts makes a welcome return to updates, we need another to add to the two already outstanding.

[Death Impends 7,979]

Barker my first hit. At #21 so not the worst thing in the world.

[machotrouts 828]

Ashes to Ashes, Cheek to Cheek

 

The only person on this year's Inverse Dead Pool I've seen in concert, Henry Kissinger Tony Bennett has died at the age of 96. The crooner and Great American Songbook exhumer was noted for his longevity. His 1951 hit 'Because of You', a searing takedown of Kelly Clarkson's absent father, kickstarted a 7-decade career, and he remained active 5 years into his Alzheimer's diagnosis, when he last took to the stage to perform his signature song, 'Goddammit Where Did I Leave My Heart'.

 

Unfortunately for the majority of us – 26 out of 50 picked him – he is not noted for his longevity in the Inverse Dead Pool 2023.

 

♪ She banked 24 points on Tony Bennett's life – that's why @theoldlady is a tramp. ♪ And she's not the only one: 24 points also go to my mother, who, following her 25-point hit for Burt Bacharach, becomes the first player to lose both her top 2, and unsurprisingly takes back last place. Sorry mum, putting your favourite musicians on top doesn't give them a protective shield. Other tramps include @BabyBlue Velvet and The @chilean way You Look Tonight, who both take 19-point hits. In fact, the only member of the current bottom 11 not to bet on Bennett is @Sir Creep, who goes from Rags to Riches – well, from #50 to #45.

 

Meanwhile, there are two more players off zero, to the tune of 3 points for @Annami, and *22* points for poor @Alcalina. At least you'll be able to tell their usernames apart now. Other contenders failing to show longevity include @diego, who goes from 2 points to 12, and @machotrouts, who goes from 6 points to 13.

 

Well, he looked fine to me at that concert. Granted, I was 9 at the time. It was in Edinburgh in 2000. He must have declined afterwards. Maybe he had a bad deep-fried Mars Bar.
 

			GAINED	TOTAL
=	1.	LizLemon		0
=	1.	tracy		0
=	1.	Death Impends		0
=	1.	Book		0
▲	5.	Spade_Cooley		1
▼	6.	Annami	+3	3
▲	7.	Grimgrass		4
▲	7.	Nick		4
▲	9.	Sean		6
▼	10.	gcreptile	+4	7
▲	11.	Summer in Transylvania		9
▲	11.	BuffaloPhil		9
▲	13.	CaptainChorizo		10
▲	13.	Joey Russ		10
▲.	15.	ThereWillBeDeaths7		11
▼	16.	diego	+10	12
=	16.	Perhaps	+2	12
▼	18.	machotrouts	+7	13
▲	18.	The Unknown Man	+2	13
▲	18.	deadsox		13
▲	18.	Grim Up North		13
▼	22.	An Fear Beag	+3	14
▲	23.	MortalCaso		15
▲	24.	Captain Hemlock		18
▼	25.	Newjack	+8	19
▲	25.	Great Uncle Bulgaria		19
▲	27.	Torva Messor		21
▼	28.	Alcalina	+22	22
▲	28.	marinade	+2	22
▼	30.	wannamaker	+7	23
▲	30.	TQR		23
▼	32.	Hell	+8	24
▼	32.	Pedro67	+7	24
▼	34.	Funeralopolis	+11	25
▼	35.	Bibliogryphon	+11	26
▲	35.	YoungWillz		26
▼	37.	nantonian2013	+4	27
▲	37.	Toast		27
▲	39.	En Passant		30
▲	40.	TheSpinosaurus	+1	33
▼	41.	MariNisia	+14	35
▼	42.	The Old Crem	+12	36
▼	43.	CalebH	+13	38
▼	44.	chilean way	+19	43
▼	45.	BabyBlue	+19	45
▲	45.	Wormfarmer	+5	45
▲	45.	Sir Creep		45
▼	48.	theoldlady	+24	51
▼	49.	msc	+15	55
▼	50.	machotrouts' mum	+24	66

[machotrouts 828]

Goodness Gracious, George Alagiah

 

Journalist George Alagiah has George Ala-died-of bowel cancer at the age of 67.

 

Best known as a newsreader, having presented BBC News at Six for the past 15 years, he was previously a foreign correspondent specialising in Africa and the developing world, in which time he interviewed deadpooling stars such as Nelson Mandela, Robert Mugabe, Desmond Tutu, and Maude Apatow. But irony struck in 2014, when it emerged that the former developing world correspondent was in fact developing a world of his own – of cancer, in his bowel.

 

A Derby Dead Pool favourite since at least his 2018 cancer recurrence, even peaking at #1 in the Drop Forty last year – James Whale pipped him this year, which was possibly the last straw – Alagiah is much less popular on the Inverse Dead Pool, because that is the format of the game.

 

I've got bad news to break to 3 of you. With 5 points on Alagiah, @theoldlady becomes the penultimate-placing player; 12 points causes @BuffaloPhil to make a big bowel movement down from #11 to #26; and it's a good thing @YoungWillz said "plummet" was one of his favourite words, because with a 24-point hit, that's exactly what he does, down to the bottom 4.

 

			GAINED	TOTAL
=	1.	LizLemon		0
=	1.	tracy		0
=	1.	Death Impends		0
=	1.	Book		0
=	5.	Spade_Cooley		1
=	6.	Annami		3
=	7.	Grimgrass		4
=	7.	Nick		4
=	9.	Sean		6
=	10.	gcreptile		7
=	11.	Summer in Transylvania		9
▲	12.	CaptainChorizo		10
▲	12.	Joey Russ		10
▲	14.	ThereWillBeDeaths7		11
▲	15.	diego		12
▲	15.	Perhaps		12
▲	17.	machotrouts		13
▲	17.	The Unknown Man		13
▲	17.	deadsox		13
▲	17.	Grim Up North		13
▲	21.	An Fear Beag		14
▲	22.	MortalCaso		15
▲	23.	Captain Hemlock		18
▲	24.	Newjack		19
▲	24.	Great Uncle Bulgaria		19
▼	26.	BuffaloPhil	+12	21
▲	26.	Torva Messor		21
=	28.	Alcalina		22
=	28.	marinade		22
=	30.	wannamaker		23
=	30.	TQR		23
=	32.	Hell		24
=	32.	Pedro67		24
=	34.	Funeralopolis		25
=	35.	Bibliogryphon		26
▲	36.	nantonian2013		27
▲	36.	Toast		27
▲	38.	En Passant		30
▲	39.	TheSpinosaurus		33
▲	40.	MariNisia		35
▲	41.	The Old Crem		36
▲	42.	CalebH		38
▲	43.	chilean way		43
▲	44.	BabyBlue		45
▲	44.	Wormfarmer		45
▲	44.	Sir Creep		45
▼	47.	YoungWillz	+24	50
▲	48.	msc		55
▼	49.	theoldlady	+5	56
=	50.	machotrouts' mum		66

[theoldlady 2,305]

@machotrouts (re.: With 5 points on Alagiah, @theoldlady becomes the penultimate-placing player.)

 

It is a pleasure for me to inform your mum that soon she will not be at the bottom of the list as I will have -71 points because of the passing of Bob Barker, when that update is completed!    (-15 what was I thinking when I did my list? ) 

 

 

[machotrouts 828]

The Vice Is Tight

 

Bob Barker has died at the age of 99. He was best known to US TV viewers for his 50-year game show presenting career, as host of 'Truth or Consequences' from 1956 to 1975, and 'The Price Is Right' from 1972 to 2007. He was best known to non-US TV viewers for nothing, as nobody televises deadpooling tournaments.

 

An animal rights advocate, except when it comes to the right to fuck, he famously signed off episodes of The Price Is Right with the snappy catchphrase "This is Bob Barker reminding you to help control the pet population – have your pets spayed or neutered". He also once feuded with Inverse Dead Pool alumnus Betty White over the welfare of an elephant – he wanted it relocated to a sanctuary, and she wanted it kept in her local zoo, due to her subconscious desire to be trampled and finally taste the sweet unattainable release of death.

 

Of interest to deadpoolers for his frailty and a series of falls, it was ultimately Alzheimer's that made a carker out of Barker, and none of us even knew he had it. Of course, by the end, neither did he.

 

So who's paying the price for not being right?

 

@Alcalina: COME ON DOWN! To 46th place, because you bet 24 points on Bob. Tough break for someone who had 0 points 3 updates ago. @Toast and @msc: REMAIN SEATED! You gain a respective 5 and 11 points without changing place at all, because the leaderboard is getting wide.

 

In the more competitive half, reigning runner-up @Sean – who is technically the #1 seed for this contest, as @YorkshireBanker didn't come back – drops from 9th to 16th with 7 points. @Spade_Cooley and @Annami get tagged for a nice reason – they're back in the top 5, as @Death Impends becomes the latest departure from the Zero Club, with 5 points. That leaves 3 players still on 0 as we enter the last 33% of the year: @LizLemon, @tracy, and @Book.

 

As for @theoldlady... well, she can always blame the wheel:

 

 

			GAINED	TOTAL
=	1.	LizLemon		0
=	1.	tracy		0
=	1.	Book		0
▲	4.	Spade_Cooley		1
▲	5.	Annami		3
▲	6.	Grimgrass		4
▲	6.	Nick		4
▼	8.	Death Impends	+5	5
▲	9.	gcreptile		7
▲	10.	Summer in Transylvania		9
▲	11.	Joey Russ		10
▲	12.	ThereWillBeDeaths7		11
▼	13.	CaptainChorizo	+2	12
▲	13.	diego		12
▲	13.	Perhaps		12
▼	16.	Sean	+7	13
=	17.	machotrouts		13
=	17.	The Unknown Man		13
=	17.	deadsox		13
=	17.	Grim Up North		13
=	21.	An Fear Beag		14
=	22.	MortalCaso		15
=	23.	Captain Hemlock		18
=	24.	Great Uncle Bulgaria		19
▼	25.	Newjack	+1	20
=	26.	BuffaloPhil		21
=	26.	Torva Messor		21
=	28.	marinade		22
▲	29.	wannamaker		23
▲	29.	TQR		23
▲	31.	Hell		24
▲	31.	Pedro67		24
▲	33.	Funeralopolis		25
▲	34.	Bibliogryphon		26
▲	35.	nantonian2013		27
=	36.	Toast	+5	32
▼	37.	TheSpinosaurus	+2	35
▲	37.	MariNisia		35
▲	39.	The Old Crem		36
▼	40.	En Passant	+7	37
▲	41.	CalebH		38
▲	42.	chilean way		43
▲	43.	BabyBlue		45
▲	43.	Sir Creep		45
▼	45.	Alcalina	+24	46
▼	46.	Wormfarmer	+2	47
=	47.	YoungWillz		50
=	48.	msc	+11	66
▲	48.	machotrouts' mum		66
▼	50.	theoldlady	+15	71

 

This is Bob Barker reminding you to help control the machotrouts population – have his mum spayed or neutered.

[theoldlady 2,305]

This is Bob Barker reminding you to help control the machotrouts population – have his mum spayed or neutered.
 

NB! I’m telling your mum about this…..would like to be a fly on your wall…..

[YoungWillz 21,054]

I refused to pick Bobby Charlton here. But did you?

[Bibliogryphon 9,586]

On 21/10/2023 at 16:29, YoungWillz said:

I refused to pick Bobby Charlton here. But did you?

 

I copped for 5 points on Bobby which won't damage my (already poor) standing too much. In fact if some people picked him higher I could actually climb places

 

However if Putin does go it is game over for me

[ThereWillBeDeaths7 741]

3 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said:

However if Putin does go it is game over for me

Same for me

 

I placed Trump and Putin on the top of my list as a sort of win-win. Happy either way: I do well in this game or the world has a reason to celebrate 

[machotrouts 828]

We're Short of a Bob or Two

 

Bobby Charlton has died at the age of 86, becoming the Inverse Dead Pool's second consecutive Bob lost to dementia.

 

Despite living in the shadow of his brother, over-60s walking-football champion Tommy Charlton, Bobby was an accomplished football player in his own right. A member of the winning 1966 England World Cup squad, he also famously survived the Munich air disaster – at least for the initial 65 years before he finally succumbed to his injuries. The pinnacle of his career came in 1983, when he became director of my hometown team, Wigan Athletic – a cruel oxymoron, given the quantities of pie we eat.

 

In later life, he went from Ballon d'Or to Death's d'Or. Diagnosed with dementia at an unspecified point before 2020 – he couldn't remember when – he lived out his final years in Ribsmasher Windowsills Care Home, a choice that would be his tragic undoing. Bobby suffered complications from a fall, after Lionel Blair, Jim Bowen, and Keith Chegwin strapped him into a pillory and pulled his trousers down. He is survived by his wife, Norma Ball – and now, indeed, there is no more ball.

 

22 of you picked him – enough to fill a football pitch.

 

I think it's all over for @msc, found dribbling his way back to last place with 13 points for a total of 79. @Alcalina continues his catastrophic streak with another 18 points – still in 1st place with 0 points just 4 leaderboard updates ago, he's now 47th with 64.

 

Alcalina's aliterative partner @Annami suffers similar misfortune – with 20 points on Bobby, she's out of the top 5, and indeed the top 22. Also off the winning team is @Nick – a 9-point own goal takes him to a total of 13, putting him in 13th (note that we're now in the phase of the game where half the points match the rankings).

 

On the bright side, those two players help @Death Impends rise from 8th to 7th despite a 4-point penalty, and @Bibliogryphon is right about 5 points not doing him much harm – he goes from 34th to 31st. Good news also for @Grimgrass, whose grass expertise no doubt helped on the pitch – their Bobby-free team slides into the top 5.

 

But the top 4 – including the three nil-pointers – remain unfouled. Could these be the first three players in this pool's history to see out a full year without a hit?

 

			GAINED	TOTAL
=	1.	LizLemon		0
=	1.	tracy		0
=	1.	Book		0
=	4.	Spade_Cooley		1
▲	5.	Grimgrass		4
▲	6.	gcreptile		7
▲	7.	Death Impends	+4	9
▲	7.	Summer in Transylvania		9
▲	9.	Joey Russ		10
▲	10.	ThereWillBeDeaths7		11
▲	11.	diego		12
▲	11.	Perhaps		12
▼	13.	Nick	+9	13
▲	13.	machotrouts		13
▲	13.	The Unknown Man		13
▲	13.	Grim Up North		13
▲	17.	An Fear Beag		14
▲	18.	MortalCaso		15
▼	19.	Sean	+5	18
▼	19.	deadsox	+5	18
▼	21.	CaptainChorizo	+7	19
▲	21.	Great Uncle Bulgaria		19
▲	23.	Torva Messor	+1	22
▼	24.	Annami	+20	23
▲	24.	wannamaker		23
▲	24.	TQR		23
▼	27.	Captain Hemlock	+6	24
▼	27.	BuffaloPhil	+3	24
▼	29.	marinade	+3	25
▲	30.	Pedro67	+3	27
▼	31.	Newjack	+11	31
▲	31.	Bibliogryphon	+5	31
▲	33.	Toast		32
▲	34.	TheSpinosaurus		35
▼	35.	Hell	+12	36
▲	35.	The Old Crem		36
▼	37.	nantonian2013	+10	37
▲	37.	En Passant		37
▼	39.	Funeralopolis	+13	38
▲	39.	CalebH		38
▼	41.	MariNisia	+7	42
▲	42.	BabyBlue		45
=	43.	Sir Creep	+2	47
▼	44.	chilean way	+5	48
▲	45.	YoungWillz		50
=	46.	Wormfarmer	+14	61
▼	47.	Alcalina	+18	64
=	48.	machotrouts' mum		66
▲	49.	theoldlady		71
▼	50.	msc	+13	79

[YoungWillz 21,054]

Johnny Ruffo update required here.

[machotrouts 828]

Ruffo Tumbles

 

As if poor Australia wasn't busy enough mourning Rolf Harris – Johnny Ruffo has died of brain cancer at the age of 35.

 

Coming to fame as a finalist in 'The X Factor Australia' (the Australian version of The X Factor) in 2011, he went on to win 'Dancing with the Stars Australia' (the Australian version of Dancing with the Stars) in 2012. He also pursued a pop career, with ARIA top 30 hits including 'On Top' – a song about where he keeps his tumours – and 'Take It Home', which includes the haunting lyric "I love the way she mess with my head", a prophetic shout-out to the brain surgeons who'd one day try to save him.

 

In 2013, he turned to acting, playing the role of Chris Harrington in 'Home and Away Australia' – sorry, 'Home and Away' – until he left in 2016 "to pursue new challenges". Unfortunately, he got his wish, being diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2017. 5 years later, he was triggering deadpoolers' Google Alerts on the phrase "one last Christmas".

 

So how's this update for players – rough? Oh, not really – only 11 of you picked him, and most of those 11 put him near the bottom of their team, so they're not doing too badly. Just Ruffo round the edges, you might say.
 

The race for last place is a marathon, not a sprint – after 0 points for the first 5 hits, and 79 points for the last 5 hits (including 15 from Ruffo), @Alcalina is now in the running for the coveted #50 spot. A beautiful underdog story. However, @msc, who was already on 79 points, defends his status as biggest loser, gaining an extra 5 points to consolidate his "lead".

 

More interestingly, we do have movement on our actual lead, as one of our three remaining 0-pointers has become a 7-pointer: @Book has booked it down the leaderboard to 5th. Book 'em, Ruffo!

 

2 players remain on 0 points: @LizLemon and @tracy. That feels like destiny.

 

 

			GAINED	TOTAL
=	1.	LizLemon		0
=	1.	tracy		0
▲	3.	Spade_Cooley		1
▲	4.	Grimgrass		4
▼	5.	Book	+7	7
▲	5.	gcreptile		7
=	7.	Death Impends		9
=	7.	Summer in Transylvania		9
=	9.	Joey Russ		10
=	10.	ThereWillBeDeaths7	+1	12
▲	10.	diego		12
▲	10.	Perhaps		12
=	13.	Nick		13
=	13.	machotrouts		13
=	13.	The Unknown Man		13
=	13.	Grim Up North		13
▲	17.	MortalCaso		15
▼	18.	An Fear Beag	+2	16
=	19.	Sean		18
=	19.	deadsox		18
=	21.	Great Uncle Bulgaria		19
▼	22.	CaptainChorizo	+1	20
=	23.	Torva Messor		22
=	24.	Annami		23
=	24.	wannamaker		23
▼	26.	TQR	+1	24
▲	26.	BuffaloPhil		24
▲	28.	marinade		25
▲	29.	Pedro67		27
▼	30.	Captain Hemlock	+4	28
=	31.	Newjack		31
=	31.	Bibliogryphon		31
=	33.	Toast		32
=	34.	TheSpinosaurus		35
=	35.	The Old Crem		36
▲	36.	nantonian2013		37
▲	36.	En Passant		37
▲	38.	Funeralopolis		38
▲	38.	CalebH		38
▼	40.	Hell	+3	39
=	41.	MariNisia		42
=	42.	BabyBlue		45
▲	43.	YoungWillz		50
=	44.	chilean way	+4	52
▼	45.	Sir Creep	+8	55
=	46.	Wormfarmer		61
▲	47.	machotrouts' mum		66
▲	48.	theoldlady		71
▼	49.	Alcalina	+15	79
=	50.	msc	+5	84

[gcreptile 10,978]

18 minutes ago, machotrouts said:

2 players remain on 0 points: @LizLemon and @tracy. That feels like destiny.

 

 

			GAINED	TOTAL
=	1.	LizLemon		0
=	1.	tracy		0

That's curious! Fantastic update, as always.

 

Have to admit, I did not expect this year to be one where some tactical choices would make the difference, i.e. picking people you actually expect to die in some lower slots, so that you can avoid picking some 50:50 picks.

We haven't had 0-pointers in quite some time. Edit: actually, never!

 

[YoungWillz 21,054]

Kissinger update required. This will be fun.

[gcreptile 10,978]

LizLemon falls, too, but Tracy's 0 pts remain.

[YoungWillz 21,054]

Shane MacGowan update required after Kissinger also. This is madness.

[Toast 16,142]

Most points wins here, isn't it? 

[MortalCaso 1,629]

Well. I nearly went into December with only two hits and a good shot for a Top 10 position.

 

November 29th-30th had other plans for me

[TQR 14,399]

Oh whoops I royally fucked it. Thanks Shane.

[machotrouts 828]

I Am the Kissinger, and I Died and I Died

 

Henry Kissinger, former US Secretary of (leaving the world in a) State, has died at the age of 100.

 

The universally beloved diplomat leaves a legacy of harmony. He maintained global stability by couping democratically elected socialists to unite governments of the world in capitalist hegemony. He successfully negotiated a ceasefire in Vietnam by kindly helping Nixon undermine Lyndon B. Johnson's peace talks so he could make sure to do them properly himself. He brought peace to thousands of Cambodians by magnanimously carpet bombing them to death. He left Southeast Asia covered in landmines to help break up any fights between passers-by and their own legs. He enjoyed a long tenure as an elder statesman, advocating for bipartisanship between Republicans and Democrats by reminding them of their common enemy: human beings.

 

He will also be fondly remembered for his sex appeal, with a dating history that includes Zsa Zsa Gabor – a testament to his longevity that this wasn't his primary claim to notoriety among deadpoolers. The iconic hunk was also said to have topped a 1972 poll of Playboy bunnies asked for "the man I would most like to go out on a date with". In recent years, he topped similar polls among war crime police investigators in Chile, Brazil, Spain, and France, countries he unfortunately couldn't make time to visit before his premature demise.

 

Breaking the habit of a lifetime, he leaves a trail of destruction on the leaderboard.

 

13 points for @MariNisia! 14 points for @The Old Crem! 15 points for @Toast! 16 points for @Pedro67! 21 points for @YoungWillz! Well, no offence, none of you were doing that well anyway. 16 points also takes @theoldlady to a total of 87, putting her back in the running for worst player 2023, but 17 points helps @msc make it to 101 – more than Kissinger can say.

 

Good players are losing out too – 15 points go to @Spade_Cooley, who plummets to his doom like a passenger in Pinochet's helicopter. He has to settle for joint 15th with the wretched @machotrouts, while the #3 spot is taken by @Grimgrass – there's a username who'd know about killing fields. Bad news also for @Death Impends – the top 7 is kissing 'er goodbye, with only 6 points being enough to drop her to #14.
 

And finally – shut it down! It's the end of @LizLemon's perfect game. Blerg! She saw the #2 spot and said I want to go to there. 3 points – that's a dealbreaker, ladies! (For the uninitiated, these are all catchphrases associated with Henry Kissinger.)

 

That leaves @tracy the last remaining member of the zero points club. But how long will that last? (Spoiler alert: as long as it takes me to post Shane MacGowan's update.)
 

			GAINED	TOTAL
=	1.	tracy		0
▼	2.	LizLemon	+3	3
▲	3.	Grimgrass		4
▲	4.	Book		7
▲	4.	gcreptile		7
▲	6.	Summer in Transylvania		9
▲	7.	Joey Russ		10
▲	8.	ThereWillBeDeaths7		12
▲	8.	diego		12
▲	8.	Perhaps		12
▲	11.	Nick		13
▲	11.	The Unknown Man		13
▲	11.	Grim Up North		13
▼	14.	Death Impends	+6	15
▼	15.	Spade_Cooley	+15	16
▼	15.	machotrouts	+3	16
▲	17.	deadsox		18
▲	18.	Great Uncle Bulgaria		19
▼	19.	MortalCaso	+5	20
▲	19.	CaptainChorizo		20
▲	21.	Torva Messor		22
▼	22.	An Fear Beag	+7	23
▲	22.	Annami		23
▲	22.	wannamaker		23
▼	25.	Sean	+6	24
▲	25.	BuffaloPhil		24
▲	27.	marinade		25
▼	28.	TQR	+2	26
▲	29.	Captain Hemlock		28
▲	30.	Newjack		31
▲	30.	Bibliogryphon		31
▲	32.	TheSpinosaurus		35
▲	33.	nantonian2013		37
▲	33.	En Passant		37
▲	35.	Funeralopolis		38
▲	35.	CalebH		38
▲	37.	Hell		39
▼	38.	Pedro67	+16	43
▲	39.	BabyBlue		45
▼	40.	Toast	+15	47
▼	41.	The Old Crem	+14	50
▲	42.	chilean way		52
▼	43.	MariNisia	+13	55
▲	44.	Sir Creep	+3	58
▲	45.	Wormfarmer		61
▲	46.	machotrouts' mum		66
▼	47.	YoungWillz	+21	71
▲	48.	Alcalina		79
▼	49.	theoldlady	+16	87
▼	50.	msc	+17	101

[machotrouts 828]

Gone Pogue

 

The tooth fairy's had a word with the Grim Reaper – Shane MacGowan has died at the age of 65.

 

Best known as a member of the band 'Various artists', whose 1997 single 'Perfect Day' makes him a miss for my #1 Hits DDP team, he was also the frontman of 'The Pogues'. Sometimes wrongly dismissed as one-hit wonders, their many charting singles include the 1987 #2 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 1991 #36 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2005 #5 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2006 #6 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2007 #4 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2008 #12 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2009 #12 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2010 #17 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2011 #13 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2012 #12 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2013 #14 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2014 #11 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2015 #13 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2016 #15 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2017 #5 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2018 #4 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2019 #4 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2020 #4 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2021 #4 hit 'Fairytale of New York', the 2022 #9 hit 'Fairytale of New York', and the 2023 #TBC hit 'Fairytale of New York'.

 

One of their hits, 'Fairytale of New York', has caused controversy over the years, as the notorious Kirsty MacColl lyric, "you're cheap and you're haggard", was censored out of respect for MacGowan's physical state. Unfortunately, the replacement line, a non-sequitur denunciation of poor-quality meatballs, proved even more inflammatory. The annual culture war has sadly tainted the song for me, as a proud member of the maggot community.

 

Long popular with casual deadpoolers for his hard-living, dentist-upsetting lifestyle, MacGowan became of more interest to serious death connoisseurs (and nervous Inverse Dead Pool players) during this year's 11-month hospital stay, as his wife tantalised our draft teams with photos of him lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed. Unfortunately, he couldn't hold out long enough to be elected Jimmy Carter's vice president in the 2024 Drop Forty. In accordance with 'Fairytale of New York' tradition, he was taken home, given his last rites, and peacefully run over by a speedboat, surrounded by family and friends.

 

Stiff competition for which player is worst off, but it's checkmate for @En Passant – he chose Shane as his king, and gains a full 25 points. Even worse, it's the end of @tracy's legendary pointless run, with a gain of... 1 point, and a fall from 1st to... still 1st.

 

But it would be quicker to just congratulate the 11 of you who didn't pick him: @theoldlady (turns out this is a place for the old), @YoungWillz, @Wormfarmer, @MariNisia, @CalebH, @TheSpinosaurus (now why doesn't that tag work... oh, they changed their name to @The Immortal), @Sean, who jumps from 25th to 9th; @CaptainChorizo, who jumps from 19th to 8th; @diego and @Perhaps, who jump from joint 8th to joint 3rd; and @LizLemon, who jumps on the spot, from 2nd to... still 2nd.

 

			GAINED	TOTAL
=	1.	tracy	+1	1
=	2.	LizLemon		3
▲	3.	diego		12
▲	3.	Perhaps		12
▼	5.	gcreptile	+6	13
▼	6.	Grimgrass	+10	14
=	7.	Joey Russ	+5	15
▲	8.	CaptainChorizo		20
▼	9.	Book	+17	24
▼	9.	Summer in Transylvania	+15	24
▲	9.	Sean		24
▲	12.	Spade_Cooley	+10	26
▼	13.	Grim Up North	+14	27
▲	14.	deadsox	+10	28
▲	15.	wannamaker	+6	29
▼	16.	Nick	+17	30
▲	17.	MortalCaso	+11	31
▼	18.	machotrouts	+16	32
▼	19.	ThereWillBeDeaths7	+22	34
▼	19.	The Unknown Man	+21	34
▼	21.	Death Impends	+20	35
=	21.	Torva Messor	+13	35
▲	21.	The Immortal (née TheSpinosaurus)		35
▼	24.	Great Uncle Bulgaria	+18	37
▲	24.	Bibliogryphon	+6	37
▲	26.	CalebH		38
▼	27.	An Fear Beag	+17	40
=	28.	TQR	+18	44
=	29.	Captain Hemlock	+17	45
▼	30.	Annami	+24	47
▼	30.	BuffaloPhil	+23	47
▼	30.	marinade	+22	47
▼	33.	Newjack	+20	51
▼	34.	nantonian2013	+18	55
▲	34.	BabyBlue	+10	55
▲	34.	MariNisia		55
▲	37.	Pedro67	+14	57
▲	37.	The Old Crem	+7	57
▼	39.	Funeralopolis	+21	59
▲	40.	Wormfarmer		61
▼	41.	En Passant	+25	62
▼	41.	Hell	+23	62
▼	43.	Toast	+21	68
▲	44.	YoungWillz		71
▼	45.	Sir Creep	+14	72
▼	46.	chilean way	+22	74
▲	47.	Alcalina	+7	86
▼	48.	machotrouts' mum	+21	87
▲	48.	theoldlady		87
=	50.	msc	+12	113

[Toast 16,142]

Brilliant summary      

[Death Impends 7,979]

Suddenly feeling nostalgic for the DL front page's Reg Presley obit, one of their last great write ups.